The people posting here vociferously against Bo’s family are mostly “Wumaodang” – members of China’s infamous “50 Cent Party,” paid to post pro-government viewpoints.

In the time it took to read the first “Bo Guagua sends letter!!” nonsense today, I created an email account using Boguagua as the username. Come on, people.

At any rate, we all know that most feel in their gut that he perished in March. But just look at all the “Bo Guagua sucks and uses the people’s money” posts. Talk about scripted.

Wouldn’t it have been much cooler had he said something like:

“Ahem, fuck allyall. animout.”

So, what do you have to say about the rumors concerning your father’s actions as Party chief of Chongqing?

Guagua: Great question! My father is a very important member of my family. The word family, of course, is derived from the Latin “familia.” Latin is a subject I studied in order to gain admission to Harrow, and Oxford is the uni I attended afterwards. In conclusion, Oxford.

It’s also been suggested that your mother may have had your family friend, Neil Heywood, killed. What do you have to say regarding the validity of these rumors?

Guagua: I remember my days at Oxford very fondly. I would wander the grounds wearing my Oxford sport coat, Oxford sweater, Oxford tie, Oxford cap, and Oxford socks as I breathed in the crisp Oxford air and gazed upon the historic Oxford buildings. As an Oxford man, I took many Oxford classes and aced many Oxford tests. Did I mentioned how well I did on my Oxford Oxfords? I earned straight Oxfords on all of my Oxford-level Oxfords. That’s all the questions I have time for now. Thank you, and as we Oxonians used to say in the town of Oxford when we attended Oxford: Oxford.