The Global Times has written the response to Thomas Friedman’s “Dear President of China” that none of us needed, asked for, or wants to see.

I was tempted to go through this line-by-line, but contrary to popular misconception, I have better things to do. Just know that “the West” or “the Western” is used eight times, including:

• “Their survival and influence in the West…”
• “…the West’s strategy in interfering China’s…” [sic]
• “Many storms the West created by the Interent…” [wtf?]

The story ends:

China should have its own judgment. The Western media will have an advantage in public discourse for a long time and would like to become a force that can influence China. But they will be challenged by our wisdom and determination.

I feel like we’re all victims of an elaborate office prank in which we return from lunch to find our desktop is now a stretched image of Thomas Friedman and the Global Times locked in unchaste concert, and we can’t do a damn thing about it without calling IT. My point is there are no winners.

China can’t cede agenda-setting to Western media (Global Times)