This is kind of a sad story not at all befitting the circus music in the video, with no comedic kick. A bull in Wuhan, Hubei province managed to escape from its slaughterhouse on Saturday — who knows what inspirational dash it made, eluding its human captors while cheered by his fellow inmates as if it were Chief running toward a rising sun, a new life, freedom. In the movie version of this — Buffalo: Bull in the City — our protagonist would be adopted by an idiosyncratic old zookeeper with a heart of gold and live out its life as a chaperone for dogs and cats.

This bull here ran against traffic, caused a three-hour jam, seriously pissed off the officers chasing him, evacuated itself (it appears) near the end, and — as we speak — has probably been slaughtered and is headed toward someone’s plate. #RealLife

In Spain, people watch bullfights for the pageantry and the matador’s distinctive flair, and, perhaps for some, the climactic coup de grace. In Guizhou, on this August 11 day, at least, people watch for the comedy of poor rural handlers scampering at and away from a charging beast. (Kind of like this, actually.) How many people does it take to restrain a raging bull? More than the number you see here.

In any case, the crowd loves it. At the end, the bull is the champion, the last fighter standing in the arena, sans sword sticking out its back. That’s how it should be, I think. (Note: Chinese bullfights usually involve two bulls; the first one to retreat or is unable to continue fighting is the loser.)

For more, check out this Wall Street Journal article on the subject. Excerpt: “Chinese bull trainer Wang Youxiu says he didn’t realize Spanish bullfights end with the matador slaying the bull. Too cruel for Chinese bull owners, he says. ‘We are too emotionally attached to our bulls,’ he explains. ‘Even when they get old, we don’t kill them. We sell them to far-away places.’” Youku video for those in China after the jump.

In Jinhua, Zhejiang province on Saturday, a bull was loosed on the streets, and it was none too happy.

Also not happy, we imagine: the man just minding his own business when the bull knocks him off his bike. A bit of hilarious hopscotching follows. Alas, it ends all too soon. Run, man, run!

Youku video for those in China after the jump.

(H/T Alicia)

I don’t know, maybe Bull Tit Anus is the perfect name for a store. I’d certainly pop a head in if I saw it on the street.

#Chronicles of Chinglish 

(Via Reddit user Fei-Hong)