PSY’s “Gangnam Style” will almost certainly be the first YouTube video to reach 1 billion views. Just think about that for a second. One billion. How in the world did we let ourselves believe, just last year, that Justin Bieber was a big deal?

We’re a bit late on this story, because PSY actually got his certificate on Thursday in the UK, but Xinhua just got around to writing about it, so here we are.

Gangnam has 705 million views and 5 million likes, numbers that are increasing as I type, since July 15. As far as I know, only this kid hates it:

(H/T Alicia)

Here’s a man who knows how to handle his wine glasses. Via the AFP video’s description: “Beijing-based sommelier Philip Osenton breaks the world record for the number of wine glasses held in one hand. The previous world record was 39, set in Spain, five years ago by Reymond Adina from the Philippines.”

Local nightlife blogger Jim Boyce was definitely impressed. “’He isn’t human!’ screamed someone* on Saturday afternoon as Philip Osenton held 51 wine glasses in one hand at the Hilton Bei… (* That scream might have been to myself. I’m still checking for confirmation.)”

I think we can all agree that it’s just good, after all the world records that have fallen around China, that Beijing has a world record holder of its own. There are some pictures of Osenton practicing his impressive skill over on Boyce’s site. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

This is so lame.

Slightly less lame is the fact that China now holds the Guinness World Record for largest bikini parade. On August 19 in Huluadao, Liaoning province, this happened:

That’s 1,200 people walking 1.8 kilometers in an hour and 30 minutes, according to China News.

Continuing our coverage of world records you didn’t know existed, “1,215 farmers in Taiwan set a new world record for transplanting rice seedlings on a plot of land,” breaking a mark formerly held by Thailand, says ITN News.

“This is the happiest day of my life as a farmer,” one of the farmers is quoted as saying, which is so sad, yet kind of awesome. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

(H/T Alicia)

Xie Tongxin, who turns 60 this year, is a manager at Zhongbe Keyun, a car/traffic company in Nanjing, Jiangsu province, but he’s also a ninja. His ability to fling cards at near-deadly speed and accuracy — deadly to fruit, we mean — has attracted the attention of Chinese media. According to Yangzi Evening News, he walked into the paper’s reception room on Thursday to put on a show, sending cards flying at upwards of 360 kilometers per hour, or 224 mph (calculated haphazardly — we’re told it takes “half a second” for one of his cards to fly 50 meters). To think of it… that might potentially be deadly to small humans, too.

And now, Xie is attempting to set a Guinness Book of World Record for most fruit sliced in one minute with playing cards (because of course Guinness would keep track of such a thing). His personal best is slicing 16 cucumbers in one minute, while the world record is 18.

To train, Xie has purchased hundreds of decks with which to perfect his technique. In addition, he runs an hour every day to keep up his card-throwing stamina.

And what happens to all the sliced fruit? The family eats them, of course. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

(H/T Alicia)

Does anyone know what qualifies as a Guinness World Record anymore? Parallel parking? Check. Most bras unhooked in one minuted? You gotcha. (Youku version here.) Most cats stacked on a balance beam? They should! Fewest licks to the center of a Tootsie pop? Call Guinness up.

On Thursday, 2,012 pipa performers got together in Jilin province to play traditional Chinese tunes and set a new world record, according to Xinhua. No one knows what inspired these brave souls to do this. No one knows what the previous record was. This just happened, and that is all. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

Someone in China scooped the Guinness Book of World Records on its own event by posting the above video on Youku a full nine days before Guinness had it on its website, leading one to ask… does anyone still take the Guinness Book of World Records seriously anymore?

Other than professional parallel parkers, I mean.

Ahem.

The Chinese edition of China Daily tells us on May 22 that “on May 21, just after an Italian driver had set a parallel-parking record of 21 cm in the morning, it was broken in the afternoon by a Chinese challenger” named Han Yue. Guinness notes: “The record has changed hands five times in the past two years, with our video of German driving ace Ronny Wechselberger’s successful attempt last year becoming something of an internet sensation with viewing figures hitting the millions.”

Huh.

Concerning Han Yue’s recent record, Guinness’s website, for whatever reason, neglects to mention the Italian driver who set the benchmark in the morning, though we do find out the previous official record-holder was Patrik Folco, who “neatly slid his way into a gap measuring just 22 cm (8.66 in) longer than the car he was driving last month.” Han drifted into a space of only 15 cm longer than his vehicle, shaving a ridiculous 7 cm off the record previously thought “unlikely to be broken.”

This is the stuff of Internet sensations, folks. #TheAgeWeLiveIn