Sinologist David Moser posted this to his Tumblr a little earlier today. “Lei Feng’s head on a giant screw at CCTV Beijing.” Huh.

Happy Lei Feng Day at CCTV. Are they not aware of the numerous English slang usages involving the word “screw”? tumblr.com/blog/dmoserus

— David Moserさん (@david__moser) 2013年3月5日

Previously: Commemorate Lei Feng Day By Watching This New Lei Feng Movie Trailer

I think, after putting Lei Feng on a telephone pole cross last year, there’s not much more we can do to commemorate this year’s Learn from Lei Feng Day, even if today marks the 50th year anniversary of this “annual ritual in memory of one of [China's] great sons, Lei Feng, a People’s Liberation Army soldier known for his selfless help to others,” according to Shanghai Daily. Ritual. Great sons. Selfless help… SIGH.

As an alternative, maybe you — me, all of us, together — can watch this trailer for an upcoming Lei Feng movie instead?

The film, in English, is officially called The Sweet Smile, but the Chinese title is “Lei Feng’s Smile.” It’s a bio-pic about a man who loves polishing trucks and performing selfless duties. His greatest dream, I think, is to meet Mao Zedong.

Oh, that’s right, Mao Zedong is depicted in this movie. Our only hope is that the penultimate scene is Mao Zedong caressing Lei Feng (dramatized) as the young soldier dies after getting hit by a falling telephone pole (true).

Tsinghua hosted a premiere party a few days ago, and there will be another launch party this evening. Look for it in theaters everywhere soon.

Also see, for this occasion: “Liu Yunshan urges ‘learning from Lei Feng’” (Xinhua); “Chicken nugget resembling Lei Feng sells for $8 million” (China Daily Show).

UPDATE: Screenings in two cities have been cancelled because theaters sold ZERO tickets. Via Hollywood Reporter:

Speaking to the Yangtse Evening Post, a staff member from a Nanjing cinema said the venue canceled all four screenings of the film after it opened on Monday. “Not a single person bought tickets, so we had to pull the screening when the time came – all four screenings hit zero at the box office,” he said. “We are quite surprised, as generally you would sell some tickets for a movie one way or the other.” Meanwhile, a report on the sina.com portal said two cinemas in Xi’an also had to pull the plug on all of their Young Lei Feng screenings due to similar circumstances. The film still remains on release — for now — assuming it starts to sell at least some tickets.

The best part of this video is definitely when the Swedish man, a tourist visiting China for the first time, jumps into the water to save a drowning woman.

But if we had to pick a second best part, it would have to be the heavily accented voices of the locals saying, “And it’s a laowai!” The shock of what they just witnessed, we’re sure, could have made their heads explode.

The townsfolk have begun calling the man, identified only as 53-year-old “Harald,” according to Go Chengdoo, as “Foreign Lei Feng.” The woman he saved on December 6 near Jinjiang Bridge has yet to speak on the record, but an eyewitness from Shanghai was so moved that she presented him a bouquet and said he had “changed her life.”

Go Chengdoo also reports:

[Harald] told the reporter that he was in Chengdu on a 10-day business trip, and that although this was the first time he had rescued somebody from a river, it was not a big deal, in part because the river in Chengdu in wintertime isn’t as cold as Sweden’s rivers in the summer.

So, swimming in the cold river: no big deal. Saving someone’s life?

Well done, Harald… if that is your real life.

On Sunday in Yantai, Shandong province’s Golden Sands beach, a young man surnamed Ji swam a bit too far into the sea and went under. As Tencent Online tells it via 365jia (pictures from there), an Australian named Jason relaxing a few hundred meters away saw this and sprung to action.

After Ji was pulled from the waters with help from an inflatable raft, Jason performed CPR on the man and was able to resuscitate him. The Aussie’s golden retriever was by his side for the whole thing, too.

And once again, we have seen that CPR really can save lives.

For all his efforts, Jason was unfortunately labeled the “foreign Lei Feng.”

(Just kidding – good on Jason, et al.) More pictures after the jump (H/T Alicia).

Finally, some pointless comments found on Sina Weibo:

“Popularizing emergency aid knowledge is very important,” wrote Sina Weibo user @Leon—LEE. “Dog is also excellent,” said @小新童鞋2012. “Super!” said @蜜糖de小宇宙.

Perchance, might I ask, how does he lead? By being dead? By making everyone feel inferior at the feet of his boundless magnanimity? With puppy-like, blind devotion? By making evangelists of us all and self-subjugating to a symbol and a spirit, when in fact that symbol and spirit is a myth written by people as real, flawed, proud, sinful and duplicitous as the rest of the human lot?

I think it’s safe to say that no one’s life has been so exploited, abused and dragged through the mud of politics for political gain than Lei Feng’s, none so thoroughly defiled since Annabel Chong took on 70 men in The World’s Biggest Gang Bang, and none capable of making grownups write sillier things since, oh I dunno, Jeremy Lin.

The myth-peddlers of Lei Feng’s brand of truth, humility and equality (and justice?) are the worst type of hypocrite, for they represent deceit, impudence and greed. You know how I know this? Because they are human, and that is a great thing, a joyful thing, very much worthy of celebration in literature and pop culture, and it is very much greater and better than this sorry, sordid, cum-stained rag we’re being force-fed on this stupid 50th anniversary of Lei Feng Day.

But then again, today also marks the start of the CCP’s Two Sessions, so newspapers are going batshit to prove they are truer believers of the Communist Party’s Christmas Spirit. Let them have their Jesus and blow him, too.

Here are two Global Times headlines: “Lei Feng’s spirit a source of warmth in modern society” (He is not an idol beyond our reach. When we feel lonely and helpless, he can give us warmth and strength, and that’s more than enough); “Lei Feng remembrance begins, poll finds most support spirit promotion” (Some 90 percent of respondents in a telephone survey believed that the campaign of learning from Lei Feng has exerted positive influence on Chinese society).

Here’s China Daily: “Spirit of Lei Feng lives on” (The tragic death of the toddler Yue Yue in October shocked the nation and led to much soul searching about people’s willingness to help others. / The 50th anniversary of Learning from Lei Feng Day provides us with the perfect opportunity to reflect on both ourselves and the society we live in).

Must we really go through with this charade?

Lei Feng is a symbol alright, a symbol of everything that is wrong with modern propaganda. China is typically very good at controlling the message, but regarding its outmoded symbol of Party loyalty, it is hopelessly out of touch and pathetically sentimental. Let us learn from from the ol’ comrade indeed. Let us learn how to sell condoms. Let us learn how to sell memorabilia. Let us learn to let go  – as of a grudge – of our obsolete lies.

UPDATE: Here is Lei Feng on a cross.