For the seventh consecutive year on Monday, the Chinese men’s ping-pong team won the Swaythling Cup. (Apparently familiarity doesn’t make the trophy any less awkward to handle.) It’s the 19th time they’ve finished first at the World Table Tennis Championships, which was held this time in Tokyo. The Chinese women’s team, not to be outdone, also won – also its 19th team title at this worlds competition. The women have lost only twice since 1975.

I mean… congratulations? No team title should be disparaged, especially since it looks like Team Germany gave China a bit of resistance, actually taking one game before falling 3-1. But, man, seven in a row and 19 total… maybe it’s time to give the Chinese a handicap? Like, smaller paddles, or ankle weights, or something. Look:

China’s domination of the sport extends to the Olympics. The kids here grow up with ping-pong and do stuff like this at the park, so it’s not a surprise that the rest of the world has no chance in international competitions.

Good luck next year, everyone else. But honestly, it probably won’t matter:

Meanwhile, via NK News:

Japanese customs officers on Tuesday confiscated North Korean table tennis players’ belongings, including souvenirs and equipment, at Narita International Airport, local media has reported.

The Sankei newspaper, quoting unnamed sources, reported on Tuesday that Japanese customs inspectors confiscated souvenirs and table tennis equipment – purchased in Japan – from 13 North Korean players at a special security check.

…Japan bars all trade with North Korea. It has banned all exports to North Korea and port calls by North Korean vessels due to Pyongyang’s nuclear tests and missile launches since July 2006.

The Japanese government generally prohibits any North Korean nationals from entering Japan, but issued the players’ visas under the principle of separating sports from politics.

The nunchucks are an unnecessary touch, turning a cheesy, goofily syncopated music video into Balls of Fury. Actually, this whole thing is stupid. So, so stupid.

The screengrabs are pretty sweet though:

It’s unlikely you have time for 16 minutes of ping-pong, so start at the 7:30 mark, when the shenanigans begin. As Deadspin explains:

Jean-Michel Saive, a decorated Belgian player with 130 total medals in international singles tournaments, took on Chuang Chih-yuan in a match earlier this month at the Tai Ben Invitational that gradually became more baffling and funny at the same time. It seemed to start out as a normal match, but once Chih-yuan took a lead, the two decided to have some fun.

The announcers can’t stop giggling. Balls begin flying over a scorekeeper’s head. And we are reminded, yet again, that table tennis players are really good at table tennis, like, better than you and I to the same degree that Vincent Van Gogh paints better than elephants. Look at the balls that Saive consistently returns, even while monkeying around.

Anyway, at the very least, this was funnier than any/every moment in the ping-pong movie Balls of Fury.

NBA star Kevin Garnett was in China last month to promote his new Anta shoe, the KG III, and it appears that his itinerary included a trip to the set of The Generation Show《年代秀》. He was joined in the studio that day by another major star athlete in China, ping-pong world champion Wang Hao. Naturally, the two played a rally. Naturally, Wang Hao used his off-hand, and still had to take it extra easy on the Boston power forward. And naturally, Wang Hao won the point. (This episode just aired on Friday.)

But just as importantly, everyone looked like they had a lot of fun, par for the course for KG. As the Celtics fan site Red’s Army notes about Garnett’s trip, “I honestly think that KG had more fun in China than his fans did. He brought his energy and emotion to each appearance and event.” Oh, and he speaks better Chinese than Lebron James, and plays better ping-pong than Kate Middleton. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

(H/T Alicia)

I don’t have anything to say about this, really, except that I like it. Look at the concentration on the man’s face. Look at his smile when the ball finally falls off his paddle, and his alacrity to try again, that very moment. This, young’uns, is how grown-ups entertain themselves when they don’t have iPhone or iPad Apps. Isn’t it better?

This video is part of several taken in central Beijing’s Beihai Park, uploaded recently by YouTube user jryanc10. A lot of the titles and descriptions seem needlessly snide, but the content is pretty great, showing a slice of life for many of the city’s elderly. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

Since becoming an Olympic discipline in 1988, China has won 23 of the 27 possible gold medals in ping pong, and it’ll probably be 24 of 28 after tonight when the heavily favored team of Zhang Jike, Wang Hao and Ma Long gets done with Japan South Korea in the men’s team final, which begins at 10:30 pm. This would be the second straight Olympics in which China has won all four ping pong gold medals. Congratulations in advance to the world for trying.

(H/T Alicia)

Kate Middleton visited Bacon’s College in Rotherhithe in southeast London yesterday to do some Olympics-related promotion, and — because why not? — engaged in some good ol’ table tennis. Her Royal Highness proved most excellent. Good on you, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

(H/T Alicia) Youku video for those in China after the jump. Buzzfeed is also on the story with a collection of gifs, such as:

At one point in this preview, 100-year-old Aussie Dorothy DeLow is interviewed in English by someone who sounds Chinese. “Why are you participating in this competition?” comes the question. DeLow grunts. “You’re so old!” the questioner adds.

Without missing a beat, Dot replies, “I’m not that old.”

And then everyone claps while Dot flashes an open-mouthed, silent laugh, and that’s when you’re sold: this feature documentary by Hugh and Anson Hartford, Ping Pong, is one to watch. It premiered on Friday in the UK, and as soon as it hits China’s DVD stores, we’ll let you know.

The movie follows eight competitive ping pong players from around the world who traveled to Inner Mongolia last year to compete in the Over 80s Table Tennis Championships. Everything about it looks amazing. Go check out some of the bios of the film’s stars, and also this Atlantic interview conducted by Kasia Cieplak-Mayr von Baldegg with Hugh Hartford. If you’ve already seen the movie, drop us a line, because we’d love to hear about it.

After the jump, a reminder that ping pong is awesome.

A Killerspin video uploaded on January 8, 2007, with 12.4 million views:

His name is Xue Di, and according to the Providence Journal, he is a dissident Chinese poet who has been “the league champion at the Rhode Island Table Tennis Association in Manville” for 10 straight years.

How do we start listing the ways in which this is awesome? With his voice, which rises a few octaves when he gets excited? With the fact that this video is entirely about ping pong? Perhaps with the part where he says, “I started playing in this club, 1991… so I had a very good friend say, y’know, ‘You know how to play?’ I said [voice rising], ‘I know a a little.’ He said [voicer really rising], ‘Okay! You wanna come to the club, show up and play?’ I said, [voice cracking while rising], ‘Okay!’ So I came here, I took one of my paddle, [voice back to normal] I kicked his ass right away. He was [voice high again], ‘What! I have no idea you are playing with good player.’”

Pure gold: American invites dissident Chinese poet to play ping pong not knowing the poet is actually really good at it, gets his ass kicked. This could be the modern-day quinquagenarian version of the Bruce Lee story.