Occasionally a man needs to sleep off the heat of a midsummer afternoon. Occasionally a man needs to anchor himself under an opulent shade and forget the perturbations of his life trajectory, which might pull him into the vortex that is the world’s collective agitation. Occasionally a man needs to do this while naked, save for one sock.

This via an anonymous tipster:

A friend sent this to me after her midday coffee at the Starbucks in Sanlitun. As she walked out of the top floor she spotted a man passed out on the patio chair, spread eagle and wearing only a sock. The police came to ask what he was doing then dressed him in a garbage bag. I’m still left with questions. All I want to know is where is his other sock, how long was he sleeping there for all of Sanlitun to see and what kind of party did he go to?

What kind of party, indeed. Sanlitun is on a roll: a month and a half ago we saw this passed-out laowai on the steps of Nali patio, though he at least had the good sense to stay clothed.

If you want the uncensored, NSFW version of the naked napper – (squint hard enough, Beijing expats, and you might see a bit of yourself in that pic) — click here.

Take all my money, please don’t eat me.

“Face bikini” found in Qingdao. “The mask, which is used to block the sun’s rays and jellyfish in the sea, is particularly favored by middle-aged women,” says China Daily. [Asianewsphoto]

There really isn’t much to say about these pictures, which were taken on May 3 on a beach in Sanya, Hainan province and tweeted out by China Daily Show just now (“Who says China lacks innovation?”). Excerpt, perhaps, “Why?” A couple more pictures follow. They might not be appropriate for office gawking.

This is fashion’s — Chinese fashion, in this case — inevitable answer to the face-kini: when one dresses up, dress down.

UPDATE, 2:53 pm: Aw, spoilsports:

People’s Armed Police halt a flag raising ceremony on Sanya beach: http://t.co/R5Cw4Vi5yh pic.twitter.com/rGQWingOiX

— Chris Buckley 储百亮 (@ChuBailiang) May 5, 2014

UPDATE, 5/7, 1:14 pm: Okay, this probably has nothing to do with these pictures, but a ban on nudity is likely to most affect those with skin disease. Via China Daily:

Shen Hong, a dermatologist at Hangzhou No 3 People’s Hospital, said psoriasis is a chronic skin disease that is difficult to cure.

“For patients with psoriasis, red patches with scales will occur, especially on their scalp, ears and genitalia. Abundant sunshine and washing with seawater can relieve the pain caused by these patches,” he said.

Sanya Mayor Wang Yong conceded that psoriasis patients are among the nude beachgoers in the city.

The 11th Adult Care Expo*, i.e. Shanghai Sexpo, ended on Sunday, and if you weren’t there for any of the three-day extravaganza of awkward gazing/touching/posing and shameless mobile recording inside the Shanghai International Exhibition Center (INTEX), we’ll fill you in: there were a lot of sex toys and aphrodisiacs, a lot of phalluses, a few AV stars but way more scantily clad girls — sometimes dancing, sometimes doing something… we don’t know — and a lot of QPR codes, often on skin, because sexpos have gone digital, baby. Judging by the pictures, it was all very goofy, like PG porn or sanitized sex approved by marketers for 13-year-olds. Nonetheless, what follows may not necessarily be suitable for viewing in the workplace.

Via Youth.cn (these pics also appear on NetEase, but Youth.cn seems more suitable), here’s a look at some of the expo’s more awkward moments:

Look at this next one – an editor blurred out this mannequin’s left nipple!

But this is totally okay, right? (From the same website’s slideshow.)

There were also live dancers, like this gal below. We’ll leave you with a couple of these videos. Try to watch them with a sober understanding that sex has been thoroughly commodified in this setup. Maybe you should watch this in the office: you’ll not find better tips on making money anywhere else.

* The full name of the event is technically the China International Adult Toys and Reproductive Health Exhibition. Here’s a logo:

Heavy smog couldn’t deter runners of the annual “naked pigs run” in Beijing’s Olympic Park on Sunday. According to China Daily, more than 300 participants — “only allowed to wear underwear” — partook in the event. (Clearly some people wore more than underwear, but let’s let that be neither here nor there.) Some wore gas masks, making for interesting photos:

Others brazenly flaunted their health amid pollution, which is, as they say, the spirit. China Daily with this:

Meng Guangping, 51, a worker at a Beijing machinery factory, joined the activity for the third time.

“I didn’t feel unwell after running,” Meng said. “I run regularly and will not stop when there is haze. I think I have become used to the haze.”

The very next paragraph:

The number of asthma and emphysema patients seeking help at Beijing hospitals has doubled since the smog started on Thursday, China National Radio reported.

Shine on you crazy diamonds.

Adapted with permission from Hug China.

The mayor of Taizhou, a small city in Jiangsu province, has rejected a netizen’s complaint that his mental health has been damaged by an eye-catching outdoor advert featuring the cleavage of Taiwanese model Lin Chi-ling.

The netizen left his message on the government website of Taizhou city on January 10, signing it “a primary school child.”

The complete message reads:

亲爱的市长大人,我是靖江的一个小学生,靖江文峰大世界的外墙上挂了一幅林志玲的广告,每天经过这里,我会忍不住的看看她的深深的乳沟,晚上回家我经常想这个画面,也会自渎,学习成绩下降的厉害,做作业不专心,请市长帮我,不要再伤害我的身心健康

Dear Mayor, I am a primary school pupil in Jingjiang city (Jiangjiang city is under jurisdiction of Taizhou). There is a Lin Chi-ling advertisement on the outer wall of Wenfeng Big World of Jingjiang. Every day when I pass by this advert, I can’t help looking into her deep cleavage. And in the evening her picture lingers in my brain and I am often filled the desire to masturbate. I have experienced a sharp decline in academic performance in school and I cannot concentrate to study. Mayor, I ask you to help me and do not let Lin Chi-ling’s advertisement continue to hurt my mental health.

This complaint could have been simply ignored, but the mayor of Jingjiang actually replied on January 14:

小学生网友您好！据了解，市工商局现场查看，该广告无明显违反《中华人民共和国广告法》第七条规定，无损害未成年人身心健康的现象，谢谢。

Ninhao, pupil netizen, as far as we know, officers of municipal administration for industry and commerce have inspected the spot. The advertisement does not contain content that breaches the seventh clause of the Advertising Law of People’s Republic of China, nor has it been deemed dangerous to the physical and mental health of minors.

Some netizens expressed doubt that a real student actually wrote the complaint, while others echoed the writer in worrying about the increasing vulgarity in China and expressed displeasure at female celebrities wearing skimpy dresses.

In an interview by Qingdao based Bandao Metropolis Daily, Lin appeared surprised to hear the story. She said she was sorry and expected the primary school child not to look at the advertisement anymore. She promised to be more prudent in her future endorsements.

Lin Chi-ling (Chinese: 林志玲,  Lín Zhìlíng), born November 29, 1974 in Taipei, is very popular on the Chinese mainland.

Jiangsu pupil’s complaint to city mayor that was rejected… (Hug China)

Adapted with permission from Hug China.

A “bath and sauna center” in Changsha, capital of Hunan province, thought it was a good idea to use 54 large posters of sexy girls hanging from the outer wall of its five-story building to attract clients. (It was a good idea; more on that in a bit.)

Mingyuechi Washing and Bathing City said it is a fitness center with public showers, bath, spa, and sauna, and provides foot massages, but no prostitution services.

As a result, it had to remove the posters.

(Note: just kidding. It had to remove the posters because it’s 54 scantily clad women on the outer face of a huge building.)

Pictures of the “bathhouse” went viral on Chinese internet on Friday as major news portals joined in to publicize the “fitness center.” For the marketing department of the fitness center: mission accomplished.

“The posters are really shocking!” commented one netizen.

“The boss must be a powerful figure. Chengguan, do you know the bathing center?” commented another.

Shortly after pictures of the bathhouse spread online, chengguan stepped in and ordered all the sexy-girl pictures be removed.

Changsha ‘bath & sauna center’ puts up 54 posters of scantily clad girls… (Hug China)

The above photo, taken by legendary photographer Lang Jingshan in 1928, is the country’s oldest known nude shot, reports China.org. The model, surnamed Zhang, “suffered brutal kicks and blows from her father who heard it four days later.”

The photo appeared at the National Art Museum of China in October. If you’ve never heard of Lang, please allow yourself to be acquainted with one of China’s foremost photographers and one of its earliest photojournalists.

Dubbed the “Father of Asian Photography,” he was born in Huaiyin, Jiangsu Province in 1892. He developed his interest in photography when he was 13 years old, under the influence of his Chinese ink painting tutor Li Jing. During his lifetime, he created numerous photographic works, many of which won international awards.

In 1930, he published Album of Nude Photographs, which created – to say the least – a sensation. Look how far we’ve come.

By the way, world’s first nude photo is believed to be this one, taken in 1839:

Incidentally, that was the first year that Louis Daguerre made his photographic methods accessible to a general audience. In other words, people have been taking nude photos since, well, they began taking photos. Humans, right?

China’s first nude photographer (China.org, h/t Shanghaiist)

I’m not sure the photo after the jump is suitable for work.

Annnnd….. baited.

I don’t know, maybe I’m mistaken.

We thank Shanghaiist for bringing to our attention these pictures of model Ye Zixue at the Guangzhou Auto Show. We’d say she would have fit right in at the Guangzhou Sex and Culture Festival, but she totally would have stood out.

[NSFW] Model at Guangzhou Auto Show leaves nothing to imagination. And we mean NOTHING. (Shanghaiist)

Via Hug China:

A middle aged woman stripped herself nude and tore at male cop’s trousers when fined for riding her scooter in the wrong direction in Shanghai.

Sorry, I’ve been drinking too much. Explain slowly for me please: why would anyone ride their scooter in the wrong direction?

A middle aged woman stripped off naked and vehemently resisted law enforcement of police when caught violating traffic rules in Shanghai, Xinmin Net reported.

The woman was caught riding her scooter in the wrong direction at an intersection along the Waiqingsong Road in Shanghai’s Qingpu district.

A police intercepted, criticized and educated her, then when the police asked for a fine of 50 yuan, the woman did not cooperate and refused to pay the fine, but the police retained her scooter and did not let her go.

It gets better or worse from there. Depending on your definition of better/worse and from whose perspective you’re analyzing the situation.

Tough Shanghai woman caught and fined for violating traffic rule (Hug China)

Here it is! What, you weren’t also waiting for images and videos from this year’s Guangzhou Sex and Culture Festival, which began Friday and ended Sunday?

How does the 11th edition of China’s biggest erotic trade fair compare to years past? Take a look. Decidedly less pole dancing — or maybe it was just be digitally underrepresented this year.

How’s it to be the cynosure of all eyes, an object of desire? Surrounded by lonelyhearts and those deaf-mute to the exigencies of the body. What we want is what we want. Is that why their gazes remain cold, as a gift, Ms. Medusa in obverse, for one glance would set you hot with the distemper of infatuation? Love? What of it? Is that why they frown, the weight of unspoken words tugging at the corners of their being like a black moon?

There’s a bonus video at the end of this post. The sources for the below images: People’s Daily (1-4), NetEase (5), zgmcxw.com (6-7), Corbis (8), City Weekend (9), Sina (10-12).

Top video

Scenes from the Foshan Sex and Culture Festival are below. They’re significantly more risque. Blame it on the camerawork.

It’s no Thai ping pong show, but still NSFW, obviously.

What’s most impressive about this fight, by far, is that it manages to draw the attention of the other gamers at this Internet bar. These guys are fazed by nothing. Nothing? How about a NIPPLE? Did someone say NIPPLE?

SFW, mostly.

It is not my belief that this video needs an introduction. Take it away, Apple Daily.

(H/T Alicia)

The lovely young woman who’s been flashing late-night revelers in Shanghai has been detained — maybe.

The video above shows someone — a naked young woman, certainly — being taken in by authorities after she was caught bathing naked in a public fountain. Is it the original Shanghai streaker though, or merely a copycat?

According to this Liveleak video description, “This video claims to show her arrest as she bathes in a very public fountain. There is some conjecture, however, as to whether this is the actual Shanghai Streaker or not…many claiming she is still at large.”

We can only hope. Stay tuned for updates, and as always, let us know if you’ve seen this gal.

(H/T RFH)

UPDATE, 10/17, 1:51 am: That is indeed an old video, from February 2012, it turns out. Thanks to @iChinadian for pointing it out for us, and apologies about suggesting it was the Shanghai exhibitionist. The good news is, she’s still on the loose.

Described by Shanghai Daily as striking “sexy” poses around Hengshan Road in Shanghai, a young woman has been stripping for bar-goers late at night, for reasons unknown. Let the speculation begin about her motives:

The sets of photographs have triggered online debate, with some web users saying the woman is damaging morals.

There was also speculation about her motives — including performance art, commercial or exhibitionism.

“She might be hired by a pornographic website to attract public attention as a promotion,” one web user told Shanghai Daily, “Or she might be an exhibitionist.”

Other questions: Who is this girl? Does she speak? Who’s the photographer? Why isn’t this happening in Beijing?

And – the real Q on your mind, this we know because you’re a lewd, lascivious lot — what does she look like?

Check it out for yourself — these pics are via Sina (maybe NSFW):

Online exposure for female exhibitionist (Shanghai Daily; top image via China.org)