At the start of this video, the man behind the camera says, “Just like Chinese people, to fight over pictures.”

But just over pictures? Or is this an expression of a deeper discontent, a deformity of neither behavior nor genetics but something more fundamental and universal?

This was recorded at Stone Forest Geological Park in Kunming, Yunnan province during the now-concluded Golden Week.

Stone Forest is among the most popular domestic travel destinations in the country, which means of course scuffles would break out. It’s tough enough dealing with millions of people on a daily basis; when it happens during travel season, a time of ostensible leisure, perhaps people are reminded of their irredeemable smallness, or the head-splitting pressures imposed by a world that stops turning only when you’re dead. Upon this epiphany, who wouldn’t lash out at his fellow man?

We’re going to borrow Alia of Offbeat China’s word for the crowds during National Day holiday — “tourpocalypse” — because these pictures make us judder, indeed as if the ground will swallow us, no longer able to hold the weight of all this humanity.

This happens every year, and all we can do is… be happy we’re not dead?

Additional images are from Southern Metro Daily via Shanghaiist.

These are the sort of National Day occurrences that will ruin your vacation. At the super popular tourist destination of Jiuzhaigou (Jiuzhai Valley National Park) in Sichuan province on Thursday, 4,000 tourists were stranded until after-hours as authorities scrambled to supply enough vehicles to take everyone to base.

The last tourists didn’t exit until 10 pm, and were understandably frustrated. A raw clip of confused tourists is below. If you want a glimpse of the chaos, check out these pictures:

AP reports that China’s National Tourism Administration responded to the crisis by issuing a notice to popular tourism sites around the country, presumably asking them to be slightly more competent.

A lot of people are traveling this year.

The tourism administration said more than 6 million people had visited 125 sites across China in the first three days of the Oct. 1-7 holiday period, up by 8.4 percent from last year.

If we’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: during Golden Week, it’s best to stay put, or leave the country. Prepare your blood pressure medicine otherwise.

(H/T Alicia)

The above is by photojournalist Sean Gallagher, who found himself stuck in traffic earlier today just outside of Beijing. As he writes on his Instagram:

Stuck in a series of epic traffic jams south of Beijing. Tired of waiting, drivers and passengers go for strolls along the highway. Today is the first day of China’s national holiday. Most people take the opportunity to escape the major cities and return to their hometowns for a few days. In China, that means that millions are on the move.

Gallagher’s trekking toward Shandong province. For his sake, we hope the roads are better outside the metropolis.

Knowing what we know about Golden Week traffic though, we wouldn’t count on it. Stay off the freeways, folks. Your blood pressure will thank you later.

We have some good news and bad news. First, the bad: from September 30 to October 7, called “Golden Week” because everyone is on national holiday, accidents on the road in China “killed altogether 794 people and led to direct economic losses worth 13.25 million yuan (2.1 million U.S. dollars),” according to Xinhua.

The good news? Those figures mark a 46.2 percent and 37 percent drop, respectively, from the previous year.

Do keep that in mind as you watch the above video (on Youku for those in China after the jump), a compilation of scenes from China’s roads last week. As bad as it all looks, not only could it have been worse, but it actually got better from previous years. Progress, right?

Here are some more advanced statistics for you to ponder, too:

During the 8-day-long holidays, China reported 68,422 cases of road accidents, a year-on-year decrease of 24.1 percent, according to the traffic bureau under the Ministry of Public Security.

Among those accidents, 2,164 involved casualties, a 46.2% decrease from the same period last year. These accidents killed altogether 794 people, injured 2,473, and led to direct economic losses worth 13.25 million yuan (2.1 million U.S. dollars), which dropped by 46.4 percent, 47.9 percent and 37 percent, respectively, year-on-year.

Remember this always and you’ll be okay: China has a lot of people. When they all hit the roads for vacation at the same time, of course there will be accidents. And, sad as it is, of course there will be fatalities. Simply count your blessings if you weren’t a victim and don’t know any, and stay safe out there.

We’ve seen plenty of truck explosions in our time, as recently as last Wednesday. When they involve tankers of the LPG variety, bad results usually ensue. Take note: the accident in August that killed 36 in Shanxi; an oil tanker crash in June that left a city in smoke; a fiery death at the rear of a liquid petroleum truck; and so on. All told, the lesson is pretty clear: tankers explode, and explosions kill.

The latest example: Saturday in Huaihai, Hunan province, a truck carrying liquified gas crashed on a highway just before a tunnel and flipped over. The resulting explosion killed five people and injured two more, including three firefighters. Shanghaiist notes that, tragically, “one of the firefighters killed was due to get married in just a few days,” putting a human touch to what is otherwise yet another Golden Week diaster. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

Say qiezi!

China blogs Shanghaiist, Offbeat China, and Tea Leaf Nation have already clearly illustrated that China has a lot of people. But perhaps you didn’t know that China has a lot of people? In which case, you should check out this Sina slideshow, featuring high-res photos of China’s many, many people. We sample a few more pictures after the jump.

By the way: there’s always room to squeeze in a couple more people, don’t you think?

Another Golden Week tragedy, this time out of Hong Kong. Thirty-six people are confirmed dead after a ferry, the Lamma IV, capsized after colliding with a tug boat off Lamma Island. Many of the 120 onboard were off to Victoria Harbor to watch Hong Kong’s annual October 1 fireworks display, one of Hong Kong’s three fireworks shows.

From the above-linked AP writeup:

Local television station RTHK reported on its website that children were among the dead.

‘”After 10 minutes out a boat crashed into ours from the side at very high speed. The rear… started to sink,” a survivor was quoted as telling the South China Morning Post after he was brought to shore.

”I suddenly found myself deep under the sea. I swam hard and tried to grab a life buoy. I don’t know where my two kids are.”

Another survivor, a woman, said: “I swam for a long time to reach the surface and swallowed a lot of water. Then I found a rescue boat.”

South China Morning Post offers some more details:

“I thought we’d hit a rock or a lighthouse,” said Chris Head, a school teacher who was on the passenger ferry that crashed into the Hong Kong Electric vessel.

He said the force of the impact threw him out of his seat at the back of the ferry, which was not very full of people.

As the damaged ferry began to move toward the pier in the small town of Yung Shue Wan on Lamma, Head said he could see the other boat had started to sink into the water vertically, like the Titanic.

Videos of the aftermath are beginning to surface, as you’ll see below.

UPDATE, 3:29 pm: Trey Menefee of The Comparativist has shared with us some photos that he took:

UPDATE, 10/2, 11:31 am: The death toll is up to 38. Meanwhile, “According to an official police statement released late Tuesday, the two vessels’ captains, as well as five other crew members, were arrested on suspicion of endangering the safety of others at sea. Separately, the government announced that it would form an independent commission to investigate the disaster. The authorities offered no theories as to how the accident had occurred in one of the safest and most regulated waterways in Asia, The Associated Press reported.”

This is the music they play in movies when a hero is about to die. It’s dramatic, it builds upon its own tension, it tells a story of sorrow, sacrifice, and honor, or fulfillment, or redemption. (In fact, I’m pretty sure it comes from a movie, but I couldn’t tell you which one.) And it’s incredibly overwrought, never quite right for our world but fine for an alternate reality made in a studio.

It’s somehow perfect when set to scenes of cars going nowhere in China, for this is an alternate reality as well. Knowing that traffic is always hell, why do drivers still insist on driving? Why risk hours, days of one’s life? Where could they possibly want to drive that would make them ignore the specter of an all-day jam?

China’s “worst week of traffic” is supposedly over, but these images show that traffic is as bad as ever. If you’re going on vacation, folks, do yourselves a favor: take a train; rent a car upon arrival. Spare us the dramatic death of common sense, set to music. QQ video for those in China after the jump.

If you ever want to understand what it means to live in China — “real China,” as some are fond of saying — head out to one of the popular tourist sites this week. It doesn’t matter which — may as well be the Great Wall, shown above, or Xiangshan, or Jiuzhaigou, whatever. Advance warning: you’ll need to prepare heavy doses of perspective and patience, and master a few advanced breathing techniques, because what you’ll deal with will shock and anger you, and seriously test your resolve to be a compassionate, courteous human being.

It will also open your eyes to what it truly means to live under constant population pressure, as this country does, and hammer home the problems this country faces due to those pressures. So ignore this post’s title: go take a hike on the Great Wall, preferably around lunchtime, when everyone is just arriving. Let the experience be didactic. QQ video for those in China after the jump.

A passenger coach erupted into flames earlier today on an expressway between Tianjin and Beijing, possibly the same stretch of road in which we saw a 31-vehicle pileup just a few days ago. Reports are that 5 German passengers and 1 Chinese have died, and another 14 were injured. Nothing else is known at this time.

AP points out that, “According to government statistics, poorly maintained roads and bad driving habits result in about 70,000 deaths and 300,000 injuries a year” in China.

The candles are out on Weibo.

Let it be known: fog is dangerous. Yesterday morning, due to “low visibility” on the Tianjin-Beijing Highway, 31 vehicles collided one after another. Three died and many more were injured.

The traffic cop in the linked video warns drivers that 150 meters should be maintained between your car and the one ahead of you. How he kept a straight face, we have no idea. Traffic laws are expected to be obeyed in this country? Huh.

It doesn’t help that we’re in the midst of Traffic Hell Week, either. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

Were you on the road yesterday? Around rush hour, perhaps? If so, we offer our sincerest condolences. Also: HA HA! SUCKER! YOU WERE ON THE ROAD!

According to the newscast above, it took nearly two hours to drive the 2.5 kilometers from Liangmaqiao to Dongzhimen starting at 5:30 pm. I’ve done the math for you: that’s an average speed of about 1.3 kilometers per hour, or 0.8 mph. The average human being can walk 3 to 3.5 mph, which, in summary, is quadruple the speed that cars moved from Liangmaqiao to Dongzhimen in northeast Beijing yesterday at 6 pm. If a megaton bomb dropped had dropped on Liangmaqiao at that time, a thousand thank-you notes would have rained down from heaven: Thank you for ending our misery.

Citywide, the average speed of cars around rush hour was a mere 13.7 kilometers per hour, or 8.5 mph. That. Is. INSANE. People on social media thought so as well — “jam,” “annoyed,” and “traffic laws” were among the most searched terms on Sina Weibo. Also trending at the top, I imagine: “fuck,” “shit,” “murder,” “drink the blood of dead puppies,” “most painful death by a thousand needles and disembowelment,” “how do I rape adjacent driver with a crowbar,” and “dadgummit.”

Beijing’s traffic already constantly forever sucks goat testicles all the time, but Traffic Week from Hell — as drivers go nuts before National Day holiday – is expected to last until Saturday. CNTV reports:

The Beijing Transport Commission predicted 7 days in the month on which the roads will become super jammed.

Wednesday. Cars with license plates ending in 4 and 9 are forbidden from driving on the roads in the city. The number “4″ has the same pronounciation as “death” in Chinese, and is unpopular with Chinese people when choosing phone numbers and plates. So this vehicle restriction doesn’t seem to give too relief on the city’s traffic.

I don’t drive here, and never will, so every time I see a traffic jam like this, it’s funny to me in a grotesque, horrifying, and unfathomable way that makes me question my moral quality and capacity to be an empathetic human being.

But, man, I tell ya — this really is how I feel:

ONLY because I can think of no other way of protecting myself against the inevitable anger and self-wallowing that will result when I get stuck in one of these traffic jams. Fuck traffic, man. I would totally rather rip the entrails out of a puppy and suffer death by a thousand dadgummits.

Here’s a video of one brave driver caught in the jam trying to rationalize life (YouTube / Youku).