A shortie but goodie from Global Times: “Actor Jackie Chan announced he will donate at least four old buildings to the ‘Jackie Chan World Park,’ to be located in Yizhuang district, the Beijing Times reported.”

Back up a second. Jackie Chan-themed amusement park?

The two-square-kilometer park will have five themed avenues, showcasing high technology and cultural experiences. Chan plans to import several old buildings to the park from his collection. He stirred up controversy earlier this year when he donated old Anhui-style buildings to Singapore, but Chan has defended his actions.

USA Today, which has picked up this story, reports via The Malaysian Times that the park will partly be a museum, featuring Chan’s furniture and jewelry. The park will (might?) have five main paths, each with a different theme. “Cultural experiences.”

Surely there’ll be a 4D theater where we can experience that time Jackie got beaten up by Bruce Lee?

Way back when, a young and overeager Jackie Chan found himself in a fight scene with the legendary Bruce Lee in the movie Enter the Dragon. It was the opportunity of a lifetime. Bet he didn’t think he’d almost get knocked out by his idol.

Watch the above for the full story, as Chan tells it as part of George Stroumboulopoulos’s Best Story Ever series.

Two stories along the same theme here, both from SCMP’s Amy Li. We’ll start with Jackie Chan, who was seen walking toward a black Audi with military license plates. We’re not sure when the picture was taken, but its publication on Sina Weibo has caused the predictable spate of online outrage.

“Has our military hired Jackie Chan to teach soldiers martial arts?”, said Yu Jianrong, an avid online activist and  researcher at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences.

“This is obviously a movie prop,” commented another blogger sarcastically on Weibo.

“Will Jackie Chan please use his martial arts to reclaim the Diaoyu Islands?” said another.

Many demanded Chan to offer an explanation.

“This has almost destroyed my admiration for him,” wrote a fan.

It should be noted that Chan could have been using fake military plates, which might somehow exonerate him?

But the more interesting story — if you ignore the fact that Jackie Chan is somewhat of a walking ball of amusement – is this second story out of Guangzhou. First, the video:

That’s “Uncle Ou,” which SCMP reports is “a retired Guangzhou resident famous for his campaign to disclose abuses of official cars.” He really, really hates it when civilians ride in military vehicles, and he’s not afraid of looking like a grumpy gramps — the video has nearly 30,000 views so far on Youku — to express his opinion.

“Why do you use military car to drive your wife?,” Uncle Ou is heard to ask bluntly in the video. “Please answer me.”

“Is this how you abuse tax payers’ money?” Ou said.

We enjoy the expression on this woman, which, to be fair, is exactly how a normal person would react if a belligerent old man began filming himself ranting at your face.

Anger after Jackie Chan caught using military car in Beijing (SCMP)
Video: Man berates soldier for giving civilian a ride in military car (SCMP)

A man who needs no introduction is our Outro for tonight. Here’s Jackie Chan with the theme song of the 1985 action flick Police Story. This is a great one.

Jackie Chan has been appointed as a Hong Kong delegate to the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC), according to SCMP. Chan Wing-kee, a standing committee member, said yesterday that Chan’s name was on a list of proposed members.

No one — absolutely no one — should think Chan will do actual politics, as his closet comp appears to be Joe Biden on acid.

Political observer Dr Chung Kim-wah, of Polytechnic University, described Chan’s appointment – yet to be officially announced – as “another political vase” for decoration’s sake.

“I don’t expect there’s anything revolutionary Chan can or will do for Hong Kong in the CPPCC, which is largely a talk shop,” said Chung.

“But for him, it is very good because he can more strongly secure the China market.”

Still, it should be interesting, if only because this means we’ll see MORE JACKIE CHAN. YES PLEASE. The man is two years away, max, from starring in his own reality TV show, and if he could do it as a member of China’s top political advisory body, who wouldn’t watch?

Meanwhile, Chan’s latest movie, CZ12, is tearing it up at the Chinese box office. The movie has a patriotic theme. Of course it does.

Jackie Chan appointed to Beijing’s top advisory body (SCMP)

In a December interview on a Phoenix TV talk show, Jackie Chan made comments that Western media have recently described as “anti-American” — …really?

First, the words, as translated by Ministry of Tofu:

I think Jackie Chan’s comments regarding America are immature, but they’re not without reason.

He’s not entirely wrong there. Noteworthy point, Chan made his infamous comment more than a month ago, and only now they’re being heard? And he was not saying everything is rosy in China. Quite the contrary, in fact: Seriously, I am always like, when the door is closed, “Our country is like this and this. Who and who is not good.”

What he’s saying, if anyone bothered to read the entire transcription, is a common sentiment shared by many mainlanders. It wasn’t long ago, relatively speaking, that China was stuck in a “century of shame,” a period of history that reads like the Book of Lamentations. It was a century plagued with war, disease, famine, and foreign interests trumping those of the Chinese people. Compared to a nation like Canada, China leaves much to be desired. But today’s China, compared to China of 100 years ago, is autonomous, stable, and strong. To the Chinese, being able to limp out of the last century not only as a nation, but as an economic force, is empowering — intoxicating, almost, if you look at the wave of patriotic films in the last decade. Thus the rise of modern Chinese nationalism, which absolutely and crucially emphasizes the idea of autonomy.

To the Chinese, a problem within China is a strictly Chinese affair, to be handled internally even if it takes a century of suffering. If we look at the States, it’s easy to see a country handling its problems by bringing “peace and freedom” to millions of Iraqis and Afghans (with gifts of drones and torture), and keeping military bases within striking distance to Beijing (and basically everywhere, actually). Americans, unlike the Chinese, import suffering. To some people, you know, this sounds rather imperialistic.

Is it surprising people have spun Chan’s comments as anti-American? No. Is he actually anti-American? No. That’s being overdramatic. You might as well say anyone who criticizes the US is anti-American. But the reason Chan is branded as such is because he’s an outsider, and he’s getting all up in America’s grill and probably doesn’t know shit, right? Well, that’s pretty much the Chinese response to outside criticism, too. What we have is the global equivalent of a playground spat.

I’m not agreeing with Chan’s erroneous statement, nor denying China has serious problems. But here’s the thing: faced with never-ending upbraiding from outsiders who point out flaws that Chinese people are more than capable of noticing on their own, what do you think should be the Chinese response? Point out that corruption and strife are inherent struggles in a nation with a complicated political, economical and ideological history, then hope for sympathy? (As if that would make English-media headlines?) OR shoot off about one of the least-loved Western governments in the world? The latter, as Chan demonstrated, is easier to do — with the unfortunate result being a perpetuation of our vicious cycle of misunderstanding.

Seahorse Liu, born in Toronto, studied design at the Nanjing University of Art, where she confused locals with her accent. She is currently studying at OCAD University, and also produces infographics for the Canadian International Council’s Open Canada website.

Jackie Chan’s bad week continues. Last week, he drew everyone’s ire by speaking out against Hong Kong protesters; this week, the charismatic movie star is being investigated by cops for off-the-cuff remarks he made in a print interview about using firearms to fight off triad members.

Global Times, citing China Newsweek magazine, reports:

Chan made the revelation in an interview with the Guangzhou-based magazine Southern People Weekly saying that many Hong Kong actors were once bullied by local mafia-style gangs, and only he dared to confront them.

“I was at dinner once when more than 20 people with watermelon machetes surrounded me. I had three guns with me and told them that they had gone too far,” the magazine quoted him as saying.

Chan said after that he even brought two guns and six grenades with him.

Police, instead of focusing on the part where a gang of 20 people with machetes tried to kill Jackie Chan, fixated on the guns and grenades. In their defense — guns and GRENADES:

If the story turns out to be true, he would have blatantly breached gun-related regulations and if it’s not he could be in trouble for spreading misleading information to the public, said the spokesperson.

According to gun laws in Hong Kong, a license is required to carry a firearm. It is not known if Chan had ever been issued a gun license by the Hong Kong Police Force.

Breaking the gun law in the region can net an offender a fine of HK$100,000 ($12,903) and up to 14 years in prison.

Chan, who’s been doing a lot of backtracking recently, gave a most bizarre statement to the public:

“I told the media about my unruly behavior to express that I had the thought of resorting to violence because of my lack of education. I cannot express myself properly sometimes, I only want to say that people need discipline, and our government should manage the public and resources in a fair way,” Chan responded on his verified Sina Weibo Thursday.

“I know the more I explain, the more questions will be asked about me,” he added.

“I cannot express myself properly sometimes.” Like, now? “People need discipline”? “Our government should manage public and resources”? What are you saying, man?

South China Morning Post has more Chan quotes, which we’ll pass along because they’re amusing, since Chan is obviously entering that stage in his career where the number of fucks he gives is zero.

“In the past, when they bullied me, I hid in the United States. They opened fire at me once I got off the aeroplane. From that moment on, I needed to carry a gun every day when I went out. When I returned to Hong Kong and ate outside, more than 20 people surrounded me with melon knives,” he said.

“I pulled out a gun, and had two more concealed. I told them they had been going too far and that I had been hiding from them. Later on, I confronted them with two guns and six grenades,” he was quoted as saying.

…”As long as there are people, there are thieves,” he said. “If you can get away with gold from HSBC without hurting anyone, that’s wonderful, and I think you are a genius. But it is unforgivable to injure anyone if you hold hostages.”

I remember Jackie Chan’s Hollywood breakthrough film, Rumble in the Bronx (1995), as somewhat of a novelty. I was young then, and in no position to appreciate his previous work, so I bought the film industry’s characterization of him as a glorified stuntman. I chuckled at the anecdotes about production delays due to sprained ankles (he does his own stunts!) and, on channel E!, funny blooper reels usually involving head-smacking on tables or floppy towels.

That line — “he does his own stunts” — was Chan’s safety net, I now realize. If he failed as an actor, Hollywood would point to his stunts as justification for giving this unknown Asian a chance in the first place. It was, to borrow a local phrase, a way to save face. I must have subconsciously understood this, because more than cheering Chan’s spotlight, I secretly hoped he merely wouldn’t screw up — for the rest of us, that is, us Asians who preferred staying on stage apogee.

I’m not sure when it was that I began to realize he had staying power. Maybe when he starred alongside Owen Wilson in Shanghai Noon, or played perfectly off Chris Tucker in Rush Hour. These were the first big-time Hollywood comedies in which an Asian actor was asked to be funny — to put legitimate laughter in a Western viewer’s belly — and that he pulled it off, to me, was remarkable.

I must have been in middle school then, trying to survive a new school district in the heartland, still finding my voice in a culture that can, at times, be exasperatingly intolerant of quirks — of foreignness. I’m not going to overstate things: Jackie Chan didn’t change my worldview, or necessarily make my life easier. He didn’t inspire me to “be myself.” But he was somewhat of a revelation. Despite his broken English, his quirks in an industry that only made room for token minorities, Chan was not a source of embarrassment. He turned stereotypes on their head and pulled off cool, which — let me tell you, as 15-year-old me — was difficult. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth became a meme, and not for the wrong reasons. That is, it empowered Chan’s character. Look at the expression he gives Chris Tucker: it says, “Dude.” That’s all. There’s no platitude there, no lecture, no anger. Just: “Dude.” It’s the same look that teenage me gave or wanted to give an untold number of classmates who thought “ching-chong” was funny.

It’s not with sadness that I pass along Chan’s announcement that his upcoming film, Chinese Zodiac 2012, will be the last action flick in which he stars on-screen. It’s not that significant of an announcement, all told, considering he never said he’s done with action movies altogether. Reuters:

“I’m not young any more, honestly,” he said, noting that with special effects technology and doubles a lot can be done without physical risk.

But it is somehow important, because he’s finally rolling up his safety net as he advances into the third stage of his career. Jackie Chan has always been about more than his stunts. It’s about time we all admit that.

(H/T Alicia)