It’s kind of like that old joke – What’s nastier than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby wrapped around a series of phones and then sold on Taobao.

I like how they only wrote it in English too, like it’s a little Easter Egg for 老外. I’m pretty sure when you order, they do their best Yashow and tell you it’s 真皮.

—

h/t Riley Hageman for this find. And yes — I get that it’s “Baby Skin White”, but that’s weird too so…

Found in a kindergarten classroom in Beijing. Those three-year-olds have no idea what they’re not snickering at.

(Via Matt McLaughlin)

A Chinese man attempted to boil a two-month-old baby in a wok after stabbing her 22-year-old mother to death.

The incident reportedly happened on November 15 in Dandong, Liaoning province. You can watch the news report, above, via Liaoning Satellite TV. The suspect is 35-year-old Sun Chuanjun, who apparently divorced the toddler’s aunt earlier this year, though the exact motive for his heinous rampage aren’t known.

Epoch Times, citing Liaoshen Evening News, has this report:

“When we got to the door, the suspect was on top of Xu Xiaoli; there was blood all over the floor,” the neighbor told Liaoshen Evening News. “Sun Chuanjun threatened to kill us if we approached him. He ran into the house and grabbed the baby girl, placing her between his legs and taking off on a scooter.”

Sun reportedly then took the baby to his father’s house, and put her in a large wok half-filled with water. Then he put a rock on top of the lid, and turned the heat on.

When Sun’s father came home, he heard the child’s cries coming from the kitchen, and rescued her from the pot.

The child suffered severe burns on her arms and legs, and muscle damage. Here’s a picture of her — alive, thankfully — from the Liaoning Satellite TV report:

And the wok she was supposedly thrown into:

Got nothing else.

(H/T Alicia)

A picture of a small child peeing into a bucket inside an Apple Store in Hong Kong has gone viral, hashtagged — what else? — iPee5.

This being the Internet, people are angry, and wildly speculating that the mother probably didn’t wash her hands before, you know, swiping the screens on a bunch of Apple products.

Of course, it’s not just in Hong Kong where this kind of thing happens. It happens in Beijing — and everywhere. In March, a Redditor exposed urine stains on the seats next to the kids table in American Apple outlets. “Pee balls,” they were called.

Anyway, but that’s over there. Here’s a larger picture of the Hong Kong iPeer, via @BadCanto:

And one more… the start of a photoshopping contest?

iPee:

A pair of sisters, ages 4 and 2, died inside their home’s washing machine on Saturday around 1:30 pm in Nanchang, Jiangxi province. The details are grisly.

The girls, surnamed Tu, were reportedly playing at home when they somehow both fell into the washing machine and got tangled in the revolving gears. (One of them must have powered on the machine?) They both died of apparent asphyxiation.

Both parents were home at the time: the father was in his room listening to music, and the mother was preparing food. A one-year-old boy was also in the house.

An unidentified person who accompanied the children to the hospital told Beijing Times: “At the time, the children’s faces, noses had been mangled inside the washing machine and bloodied, and also swollen beyond recognition. There were purple bruises all over their bodies, and the washing machine was filled with blood.”

Filled with blood.

Obviously there are unanswered questions, which we’ll leave unasked for the moment, but police have ruled out foul play. Investigators found a step-stool next to the washing machine (pictured above) and concluded the children must have crawled in, for whatever reason.

However. Yesterday, the local police bureau said they never received a call about the incident on the day it happened. The young children’s bodies were also interred before they could investigate. It was only two days later, on September 23, that the victims’ family filed a report, arousing plenty of suspicion from netizens.

As for why the girls were interred so quickly, the grandfather issued this response: “The girls were so beyond recognition at the time, it was painful to look. And since they were small, according to local custom, they should be allowed to rest in peace.”

The police say the mother and father have a good relationship. They found no signs of foul play.

As for the washing machine’s ability to kill, authorities are still investigating.

On July 23, Han Lei grabbed a 34-month-old baby out of her stroller in Beijing and threw her to the ground, killing her. This fact is not in dispute, as there is apparently surveillance footage of this sequence. Han, who had exited his friend’s vehicle from the passenger side, was reportedly upset at the toddler’s mother, who was standing in a parking space. Yes, a baby died due to a parking dispute.

On Monday, Han offered quite the incredible defense for his actions. “I never wanted to hurt anyone, let alone a child,” the 39-year-old said during a hearing at Beijing No. 1 Intermediate People’s Court, as reported by China Daily.

He added, “We didn’t want to stop the car at the bus station, but it was the only way to go. So I got out to talk with her, but she wasn’t polite.”

He then slapped the woman.

“I felt ashamed fighting a woman in public, so I transferred my rage to the handcart, throwing it to the ground. I didn’t know what I’d thrown until someone shouted there was a kid.”

Did you get that? His defense is that he didn’t know he had thrown a baby, because he thought the baby was a handcart.

The driver of Han’s vehicle, Li Ming, was charged for harboring a criminal. Hey Li, how do you feel about your friend’s defense?

Not amused, it would seem.

The prosecution is recommending the death sentence for Han, and a two-year sentence for Li.

Han was previously sentenced to life in prison for car theft. I suppose when you’re staring a lethal injection in the face, you too would say anything. His is a hail mary defense; better than going gentle into that good night.

Toddler-death defendant says he meant no harm (China Daily)

UPDATE, 9/25, 12:23 pm: Han Lei was given the death penalty today, according to Xinhua. Li Ming, for harboring him, was given a two-year sentence on top of a prior three-year sentence that he had yet to complete (because he was out on parole).

Check out this daring five-year-old from Jiangsu province. On Saturday evening, he piloted a Bee 3-type ultra-light aircraft across Beijing Wildlife Park, which is… cute? Dangerous? Irresponsible of the father?

The father, of course, is the notorious “Eagle Dad,” He Liesheng, somewhat of a publicity hound (it would appear) and the worst type of suckerfish, attaining fame through others. The “other” in this case is Duoduo, whom he made run through New York City snow last February (“Look at the camera!”), and then put him out to sea alone, and then made him climb Mt. Fuji.

After this latest stunt, He told Jiangsu-based Modern Express that his son could be the world’s youngest person to fly a plane, which seems like it could be true. It all depends on how far one flies and whether getting an official pilot’s license counts, but we haven’t found a recorded instance of someone younger than five years old steering from the cockpit.

The short flight, as described by Global Times, may have been psychologically less scarring than the snow and sailing thing, and it appears to have been safe — the child was accompanied by an actual pilot — but that it involves He Liesheng makes it somewhat revolting all the same.

The total distance that Duoduo flew is 30 kilometers, according to Zhang Yonghui, the person in charge of an aviation club where Duoduo learned to fly an aircraft.

He Liesheng told the Global Times that he wants his son to become braver by flying a plane and  develop his curiosity and desire to explore.

We don’t doubt He loves his boy in his own sort of intense, incomprehensible way. We would just hate to see him get his biggest spotlight through a stunt gone wrong. Perhaps he’d like to get in the plane with his son next time, if the cautionary tale of seven-year-old Jessica Dubroff doesn’t scare him off first.

(Images via Sina)

Sometime after 9 pm on July 18, Linzhou police officer Guo Zengxi, off-duty and on a night-long bender, stumbled outside a KTV building, snatched a 7-month old infant out of an unfamiliar couple’s hands, raised her over his head, and slammed her into the ground. The young girl, named Yueyue, lost consciousness before being rushed to the hospital, then spent days in intensive care with multiple skull fractures.

Meanwhile, Guo stayed home on his chief’s orders, under the surveillance of his colleagues. He was only considered a “suspect.” It took nearly a month and widespread news coverage and outrage in social media before Guo was formally charged of any crime.

Like with many recent cases in China, many are left wondering whether this delay in justice was the result of incompetence, obstruction, or an awful mix of both.

This recent CCTV report, led by “One on One” reporter Dong Qian, is a revealing look into not only what transpired that July night, but also the lengths that local officials will go, if only to protect the image of the upstanding, trustworthy local policeman. Dong sits down with Guo as well as Yueyue’s father and the recently suspended police bureau chief in Linzhou. Here’s a summary of the 22-minute show.

~

Yueyue’s father was playing with his daughter outside a KTV building when Guo strolled by and nudged him. The father pushed back. Guo reached out and grabbed the child.

“Until then, while I was holding her, I wasn’t worried [about him],” the father says. “I didn’t know he was going to do that. It was fast. Two seconds.”

Yueyue’s father tried to take back his infant, but it was too late. Guo had stepped away, Yueyue in hand. Some accounts claim that Guo raised the child over his head. Others say that he simply lost grip. Yueyue hit the ground, let out a brief cry, then went silent.

~

“I hit the table. I cried,” says Linzhou police chief Wei Shuping, recounting the morning after the incident — the moment he caught wind of Guo’s actions.

What happened next is a comedy of errors, from misfiled medical reports to clumsily distributed hush money (“We wanted to make sure they could afford the best doctors,” says Wei, explaining the 20,000 yuan “donation” to Yueyue’s family), and a month-long twiddling of thumbs.

~

Guo woke up the morning after the crime sober and “repentant” for what he had done. On camera, he is handcuffed and flanked by two guards.

“You used to put handcuffs on others,” the reporter notes, “and now you are wearing them yourself.”

Guo, at the very least, looks remorseful for how one night of drinking ruined so many lives.

When the reporter asks Guo about whether the ordeal was the result of a drunken bet, as was originally reported, he responds, “That’s a joke. I want to clear this up: it’s fabricated. I can’t figure out how it started, but it’s all false.”

“Then how did this all happen?” Dong asks.

“After drinking, I really don’t know what happened.”

It took more than a month for Guo to end up behind bars. He was escorted home and put on a sort of unofficial house arrest for seven days. Afterwards, Guo’s physical and emotional state convinced the bureau to allow him to leave his house. This entire time, and throughout the following weeks, the bureau chief claimed that they were waiting for formal charges from Yueyue’s family, as well as for final reports from the chief medical examiner. Neither came.

Dong sits patiently while Wei explains the legal process that blocked them from leveling charges against Guo. It’s a classic exercise in politics to divert the blame through technicalities, but while Wei denies a cover-up, he finally admits that he did not really want Guo’s crime to come to public light. And why would he? With something this egregious, and with the entire reputation of the local police on the line, why not just plug your ears and start humming?

~

But something like this never goes away so easily, especially given the witnesses (and apparently a video) at the scene of the crime. In a month’s time, the story explodes on social media. A news organization puts together a sensationalist animation recreating the incident, and the Linzhou Police Bureau finds itself in the national spotlight.

In a very telling moment near the end, Dong finally, almost angrily, asks Wei whether the bureau deliberately staged a cover-up.

“We didn’t have the means or a reason to do so. If a reporter asks us questions, can we obstruct them from asking?”

Dong later snaps, “You must know that you are not just police; you are the People’s Police. Do not forget those two characters (人民).”

Wei looks straight back at Dong. He apologizes for injuring the family, injuring the reputation of the police, and injuring the public trust. He then asks if the interview can be done with, stands up, and bows to the camera.

Chris tweets @chrisclayman and keeps a Tumblr.

In the annals of bad parenting, this man here in Harbin, Heilongjiang province deserves a special plaque. As relayed by Offbeat China, earlier this month, a baby girl, Guo Guo, was sent to the hospital to have a 5-centimeter-long sewing needle removed from her chest. Two weeks later, on August 19, the 56-day-old child was in the hospital again, this time with three sewing needles stuck in her: one under her arm and two in her torso.

According to her doctor, the needles were aligned perfectly, which means it was no accident. So the hospital reported the case to local police.

When thousands of Chinese netizens put their heads together trying to find out clues about who the criminal is, the baby girl’s father Yin Zhihe delivered himself to the police on Aug. 25.

You’ll not quite believe the reasons for the piercings.

Why a father can be so cruel to his own flesh and blood? Superstition. In many rural areas in China, there is the belief that if one pieces his/her first daughter, then the next child will be a boy. Yin is apparently one of the believers.

Holy shit… this dude wants a second child. We’re completely against forced abortions, but not forced vasectomies. Give this guy one, ASAP, and humanity will be better off. The father who put his toddler in a plastic crate and dragged him behind a motorbike — this man here — is Andy Griffith compared to Yin Zhihe.

The Yin family is pictured above. From left to right: father, mother, aunt, grandmother, grandfather. I hate to judge by appearances, but there are enough blank looks up there to make meth heads look clairvoyant.

Father pierced 4 sewing needles into 56-day-old daughter, believing the act will give him a son next (Offbeat China)

UPDATE, 6:49 pm: 

@beijingcream Latest news says he did it after told by fortune teller that his fate is locked against his daughter's, not for hope of a son

— Valentina Luo (@valentinaluo) August 30, 2013

Last month in Linzhou, Henan province, an off-duty police officer reportedly snatched a baby from the arms of a man, raised her above his head, and threw her to the ground — all because he had made a bet with his drunken friends that the child was a doll.

It was not a doll. She was Yueyue, who suffered three head fractures and will probably live with the effects of this assault for the rest of her life.

Horrifying as that sounds, try this: the officer, Guo Zengxi, around 50 years old, reportedly only got 15 days of detention before being released.

The incident happened near a karaoke parlor on the evening of July 20. The baby’s father, Li Qingfeng, said that about a hundred people surrounded Guo after he threw Yueyue to the ground. Li, who was with his wife, quickly rushed his daughter to the nearest hospital.

The incident was brought to light during an NPC meeting when Linzhou Standing Committee head Di Jianzhou called the incident, “Outrageous, outrageous.”

Police say they have surveillance footage of the incident, which “clearly” shows Guo slamming the toddler. They have also issued a statement that Guo will be punished accordingly, because first-degree assault on defenseless toddlers is some crazy goddamn shit.

Also last month, a two-year-old was killed in Beijing after a parking dispute when a man threw her to the curb.

UPDATE, 8/20, 1 pm: Guo has been detained, again, on Saturday “on suspicion of intentional injury,” according to Xinhua. Also, three officials were suspended for incompetence:

Three senior officials were suspended from their posts at Linzhou Public Security Bureau in central China’s Henan Province on Monday after a policeman allegedly attacked a baby girl after drinking alcohol.

The bureau chief, political commissar and deputy secretary of the bureau’s committee of Communist Party of China have been suspended, said an official with the Public Security Bureau of Anyang City, which governs Linzhou.

(H/T Torval Lokison) (Image via)

Last night around 8:50 pm at Wudian Road in Beijing’s Daxing district, a man assaulted a woman after a parking dispute, puller her two-year-old baby out of her stroller, and threw her onto the ground, killing her, reports Beijing Times.

The details:

It was reported that the woman pushing her sleeping baby stopped at a bus stop to check on her child when a car trying to pull over near where the woman stopped.

The surveillance footage nearby showed that the man sitting on the passenger seat got out and beat the woman after a heated quarrel. Then, the man lifted the baby girl in the stroller and smashed her to the ground.

All of this was captured on camera, footage of which we’re not looking forward to seeing.

The mother reportedly rushed her child to the nearest hospital. The baby was pronounced dead en route to a second facility.

The man was soon arrested and identified as a 42-year-old surnamed Han, recently released from jail for theft. The investigation is ongoing.

(Image via Beijing Times of the scene of the incident)

UDPATE, 8/26, 4:09 pm: The killer, Han Lei, is reportedly “begging” for the death penalty. Via chinaSMACK:

Recently, while being interrogated by the prosecution, Han Lei expressed that ever since the incident, “it has been particularly painful these past 20-some days, I really don’t want to live anymore.”

…According to Li Ming, “as soon as I saw there was a stroller in the parking spot, I thought to myself that I mustn’t hit it,” but just as he was thinking about how to park his car, Han Lei was already arguing with the woman next to the stroller about parking. At first, he “didn’t see any sign of anger or anything,” but a moment later, “when I looked again, they had already came to blows.”

In was during these few short minutes that the baby girl in the stroller was lifted high above Han Lei’s head and was slammed onto the ground.

UPDATE, 9/17, 9:30 pm: He’s apparently not begging for the death penalty anymore, since his defense is essentially, “I thought the baby was a shopping cart.

UPDATE, 9/25, 12:23 pm: Han Lei was given the death penalty today, according to Xinhua. Li Ming, for harboring him, was given a two-year sentence on top of a prior three-year sentence that he had yet to complete (because he was out on parole).

This boy’s parents deserve a parenting raise.

Also see:

• A Reminder that Chinese Toddlers are Basically the Best
• The Greatest Father in the Universe
• Dad Swings and Twirls Toddler like a Baton
• Toddler Smokes a Cigarette

(Xinhua, h/t Alicia)

We’ve heard of a mother biting off her son’s penis, but a monkey on a child? Shanghai Daily has this weird and startling tale of the menacing monkey:

A monkey bit off an eight-month-old boy’s right testicle in a zoo in Guizhou Province yesterday and doctors said the damage was beyond repair, Shenzhen TV reported today.

Oh God.

The boy’s family condemned the indifference of the zoo management after the mishap and demanded compensation.

Trivial. Tell us more about the simian’s teeth of abandon.

A park official told the family that injuries from mon[k]ey attacks “are too common and happen all the time.”

But monkeys are so friendly and entertaining.

The monkey that broke loose from the cage and was playing with visitors suddenly attacked the boy when the mother was changing his diaper.

“It happened within seconds,” said the mother, crying and kneeling in a hospital, begging doctors to save her son.

“Please save him. He is too young to suffer all this,” the woman screamed and nearly collapsed.

The zoo will pay 10,000 to cover the boy’s medical bills. The family, presumably, is asking for more money.

Monkey bites off baby’s testicles during diaper change (Shanghai Daily, h/t Alicia) (Image via)

According to users on Sina Weibo, a newborn was “baked” to death in what appears to be a horrific accident at Quanzhou Children’s Hospital in Quanzhou, Fujian province. The child was left overnight in an incubator or a heat pad that was much too hot, searing the meat off her back.

Relatives of the child say that hospital officials kept the newborn — only 12 days old — overnight because it had a cold. Nurses at the hospital have reportedly refused all interviews. Also disturbingly, surveillance footage from that night has apparently been deleted.

The uncensored pictures from the incident are absolutely terrifying, and we don’t at all recommend you search for them. (They’re here via Weibo, but again, we advise not clicking.)

More information as it becomes available.

UPDATE, 7/22, 12:15 pm: The hospital is claiming the baby died of a bacterial infection. Again, don’t click the above link for the photo, but if a bacteria did that, then the end of humanity has already arrived and we don’t even know it. 

Wall Street Journal has more info:

Hospital authorities and the baby girl’s family present differing accounts of her death. The hospital says the baby died of a bacterial infection. The family insists the baby was scorched to death in the incubator, citing burns on the infant’s back, buttocks and legs.

…The infant’s farther, Ye Yilong, told the state-run China News Service (in Chinese ) that his daughter bad been born with low levels of oxygen in her blood and was sent to the intensive care unit at Quanzhou Children’s Hospital in the city of Quanzhou, in Fujian province, immediately after she was born in July 6. On Tuesday afternoon, he said, he was told that “everything is normal and she can be discharged tomorrow.” But the next morning, the hospital told him his daughter had died.

(H/T Kevin McGeary)

A newborn in Harbin was thrown out a second-floor apartment window on Thursday and run over by an SUV. There’s, um, video of that happening, above.

Reports AFP:

The mother – an 18-year-old hair salon worker surnamed Zhang – gave birth on Tuesday in the bathroom of a second-floor apartment she shared with nearly 10 people, the official provincial Shenghuo Newspaper said.

In her weakened state she walked upstairs to a window between the second and third floors, and tossed out her daughter.

It was not clear whether the baby was killed hitting the ground, or by the impact of the car.

She was no longer breathing by the time a security guard noticed the bloodstained bag and called police.

The mother is being held for homicide.

Horror as mother tosses newborn from building into path of car (AFP via SCMP, h/t Shanghaiist)