Dennis Rodman sang Happy Birthday to Kim Jong-un, who then watched as his country’s basketball team beat Dennis Rodman’s USA team on Wednesday in Pyongyang. That’s according to Koryo Tours general manager Simon Cockerell, who reports that “the DPRK team emerged triumphant” in a 20-minute game, played as two 10-minute halves.

That DPRK team was apparently called the Torch. Afterwards, players lined up and mixed up the squads, like “in a primary school,” with captains picking players. (Who was picked last???) They played another 20-minute game, Green vs. White.

Cockerell again:

That game was actually much better, showboating, showing off, alley-oops, slam dunks, and that kind of that, so that was a really entertaining game.

But the most entertaining moment for “most of the North Koreans present” was undoubtedly at the beginning, when Kim Jong-un appeared with his wife.

…And of course, as is their way of doing things, all the local people went crazy, so several minutes of cheering and saluting, shouting manse, meaning “10,000 years, long life,” until basically Kim Jong-un told everybody to sit down and the game began.

Actually Dennis Rodman gave a speech at the beginning of the event, which was clearly improvised because he didn’t seem particularly well prepared, which culminated in him leading a mass sing-along of Happy Birthday to You to his friend, Kim Jong-un. So as you might imagine, it was a bizarre and unusual occasion that won’t easily be forgotten.

Private cameras were apparently not allowed inside Pyongyang stadium, but Sky News managed to capture the above footage, which is amazing. AP reports that 14,000 people attended the game, and also has this picture:

Rodman’s team, in case you’ve missed all the news lately, consisted of seven former NBA players: Kenny Anderson, Vin Baker, Cliff Robinson, Charles Smith, Doug Christie, Sleepy Floyd, Craig Hodges. Here’s Smith in a pretty funny photo — funny in that tall-people-juxtaposed-next-to-not-so-tall-people kind of way — via @mpspavor:

The NY Times’s The Lede blog has more, plus videos. Stuff like this:

I was lead blocker…. pic.twitter.com/SGPT7bVs4Z

— Joseph Terwilliger (@JoeTerwilliger) December 28, 2013

(H/T Vicky Mohieddeen)

I’m generally an advocate of Koryo Tours’s programs, especially those dedicated to outreach and encouraging cross-cultural dialogue, but let’s not take things too far…

Legends? Is that the genteel British way of calling them old?

Of course you already know Dennis Rodman is back in Pyongyang, this time with seven former NBA players — Kenny Anderson, Vin Baker, Cliff Robinson, Charles Smith, Doug Christie, Sleepy Floyd, Craig Hodges; and right, of course you don’t care. But if you want to see something fun, check out Rodman berating CNN’s Chris Cuomo in a video on Gawker. I think Dennis Rodman might be tired of fielding questions about Kenneth Bae.

He screamed about sacrifice. He accused Cuomo of not having anything at stake. He said he didn’t give a “rat’s ass” what the CNN host thought, all while pointing his cigar at the camera. Eventually, he settled down and let the much calmer Charles Smith explain the player’s “non-political” stance to Cuomo, but not before yelling for a solid two minutes or so.

UPDATE, 1/9, 2:40 pm: Rodman admits he had been drinking, apologizes.

What we really need is the NBA commissioner’s opinion, right? David Stern: “This one I believe was a little bit blinded by a flash of North Korean money.”

Never mind, we don’t need that. Here’s another picture, this time with fellow Koryo tourists:

Images via Instagram (top, bottom)

Look who’s back in North Korea. Dennis Rodman’s making his third trip to Pyongyang to “train the national team,” reports AP.

That Kim Jong-un just executed his uncle, Jang Song Thaek, doesn’t seem to concern Rodman.

“I can’t control what they do with their government, I can’t control what they say or how they do things here,” he said. “I’m just trying to come here as a sports figure and try to hope I can open the door for a lot of people in the country.”

A basketball game is happening. No, we don’t really care.

However. However. Look at that picture above, via Koryo Tours. The backlit man on the left is the living Beijing legend Simon Cockerell as you’ve never seen him, aglow, plucked straight out of a Men’s Book catalogue and the dreams of Christina Courtenay readers everywhere. Looking good, friend!

That’s actually Dennis Rodman. He gets blown up by Kim Jong-un in this Pistachios commercial, and I’m confused: I thought they were friends?

Also confusing, this Rodman line:

“The secret to world peace is: pistachios.”

Which, if we’re being honest, is a little less confusing than the Associated Press’s latest article about Rodman and North Korea, on November 20, featuring lines such as:

Dennis Rodman wants to belly up to the bar with some friends and order a shot of peace talks.

He believed his latest proposal is just the tonic needed to ease tension between the United States and North Korea.

“Everyone knows (President Barack) Obama drinks beer,” Rodman said. “But you know what? I’m pretty sure he does have a cocktail here or there. I’d love to see him with a ‘Bad Ass Vodka’ shot in his hand, toasting to Kim Jong (Un) and me.

Those are the first three paragraphs. What happened to the world we recognize?

Dennis Rodman has returned from Pyongyang. No Kenneth Bae (of course), but Reuters reports he “spent quality time” with Kim Jong-un, and has pictures (above) to prove it. That’s something. The hilariously mismatched friends apparently watched a basketball game, according to KCNA news agency.

The report added Kim warmly welcomed Rodman and had a “cordial talk”. Rodman reportedly expressed his thanks to the leader for spending time with him, saying Kim’s greeting is “an expression of good faith towards the Americans.”

Rodman has probably misinterpreted Kim’s greeting, but his heart is in the right place. In a better world, North Korea and the US would not be bitter enemies, and human-to-human interactions between citizens from completely different places and cultures can be meaningful and judged on their own merits.

In Beijing yesterday, Rodman addressed the media’s insistence on him acting as a diplomat to bring back American citizen Kenneth Bae, an evangelist who’s serving time in a North Korean work camp:

“That’s not my job to ask about Kenneth Bae. Ask Obama about that. Ask Hillary Clinton. I don’t give a shit.”

And about Kim, he added:

“He is my friend for life. I don’t care what you guys think about him. I don’t give a shit about what people around the world think about him.”

The Worm continues to build his case as the famous American in North Korea — maybe even more famous, if he keeps this up, than Joe Dresnok.

Rodman back from North Korea, without jailed American (Reuters)

Dennis Rodman arrived back in North Korea today for the first time since March, when he became the first American to meet Kim Jong-un since the marshal took power. Rodman was greeted at Pyongyang Airport by the Associated Press, to which he said:

“My main plan is basically to come over here to, not to be a diplomat, to become a friend of the marshal and the country of North Korea, and just to show people around the world that we as Americans can actually get along with North Korea. I’m an athlete, and I know the marshal, he loves sports, he loves basketball, so I guess that me and him have something in common. So I’m here to visit him to see how he’s doing, see how the family’s doing, and just to revisit the country.”

See how the family’s doing. What a world we live in, that The Worm can be on familial terms with the leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Reports AP:

Rodman was greeted at Pyongyang’s airport by Son Kwang Ho, vice-chairman of North Korea’s Olympic Committee, just days after Pyongyang rejected a visit by a U.S. envoy who had hoped to bring home Kenneth Bae, an American missionary jailed there.

Before leaving from Beijing today, Rodman repeatedly said he was not going as “a diplomat,” which means he will likely not be talking to anyone about Bae. Which is interesting, because in May, he tweeted that he wanted Kim Jong-un to “do me a solid” and release the American citizen:

I'm calling on the Supreme Leader of North Korea or as I call him "Kim", to do me a solid and cut Kenneth Bae loose.

— Dennis Rodman (@dennisrodman) May 7, 2013

UPDATE, 9/4, 12:03 am: Rodman says in this Huff Post interview that he was not responsible for that Kenneth Bae tweet.

It’s unclear whether Kim will meet his basketball friend, or whether his hands aren’t a bit tied at the moment with US-South Korea military drills and reports that his country is abetting Syria.

Rodman is being hosted in North Korea by the Ministry of Physical Culture and Sport, which has not confirmed if or when Rodman will meet Kim Jong Un.

UPDATE, 9/8, 12:37 am: Rodman has returned from Pyongyang. No Kenneth Bae (of course).

Kenneth Bae, a Korean American sentenced to 15 years of hard labor in North Korea for crimes against the state, will not be used as a bargaining chip, says the DPRK. “Some media of the U.S. said that the DPRK tried to use Bae’s case as a political bargaining chip. This is ridiculous and [a] wrong guess,” Korean Central News Agency reported, via Washington Post. But would the regime, you know, release him, just because, pretty please, if Dennis Rodman asked?

I’m calling on the Supreme Leader of North Korea or as I call him “Kim”, to do me a solid and cut Kenneth Bae loose.

— Dennis Rodmanさん (@dennisrodman) 2013年5月7日

The tweet is apparently in response to an editorial in the Seattle Times in which Thanh Tan wrote, “Well, perhaps now is the time for the NBA has-been to practice some real basketball diplomacy and call up his so-called friend for a favor: Grant American detainee Kenneth Bae amnesty and release him to his family.”

That “has-been” keeps up with his Korea news, apparently.

In direct response to your article headline, “Ok.” Read your story @uscthanhtan, and I decided to help. ow.ly/kNvp3

— Dennis Rodmanさん (@dennisrodman) 2013年5月7日

Of course, the last time we checked in with Rodman, he was accidentally revealing North Korean state secrets. We don’t think Kim’s gonna do him this solid. But wouldn’t it be great if he did?

Kim Jong-un’s wife, Ri Sol-ju, gave birth sometime around New Year’s, but no one has yet to independently verify the sex of the child…

Until now, basically.

Thanks to Dennis Rodman.

This guy.

In a long interview with The Sun in which Rodman says Kim isn’t like Saddam Hussein, “doesn’t want to kill anyone,” and “is just a goddamn kid” who’s “a cool guy,” he also dropped this nugget about Kim’s wife, Ri (emphasis mine):

“She’s a beautiful woman, very elegant and quite tall for a Korean — maybe 5ft 5in… She kept talking about their beautiful baby daughter.”

The paragraph after, he notes:

“I won’t tell you if the toilets were made of gold or anything like that, as I promised Kim I wouldn’t talk about that stuff. There is a lot of stuff I can’t talk to you about.”

Apparently he missed the memo that the gender of Kim’s child was one of those things he couldn’t talk about. No one can, as Ri’s entire pregnancy was basically a secret — though an open one, once North Korean officials let her make a public appearance with a big belly. The sex of her child, however, has always been a classified information.

As NKNews.org notes:

While North Korea has never officially confirmed the news, South Korean intelligence services “confirmed” that Ri Sol Ju had a baby in late 2012. Speculation that the baby was a girl has been circulating on the South Korean internet ever since, but today’s development marks the first time it has been corroborated by an independent source.

“If it was a boy, [the North Koreans] would have made an announcement,” Michael Madden, author of NK Leadership Watch said. A boy would be seen as a more viable heir to the North Korean “throne” in the event of a fourth generation leadership transition.

Rodman already holds the distinction of being the first American to meet Kim Jong-un since he took power. Now he’s revealing North Korean state secrets. The absurdity continues.

Obligatory disclaimer about The Sun being a Rupert Murdoch-owned tabloid, so maybe they just made up the quote, etc.

Dennis Rodman, fresh off his tour of Pyongyang, can’t stop singing the praises of that “awesome kid” Kim Jong-un. Unsurprisingly, some Americans just don’t want to hear about it, such as the bartender at the restaurant bar in Time Hotel in Manhattan on Sunday. According to the New York Post:

“He was at the bar at Serafina for three hours,” says a spy. “He kept saying what a nice guy Kim is, and how Kim just wants to talk to President Obama about basketball. He was waving around a signed copy of the dictator’s huge manifesto, telling everyone they should read it.”

If this is true — hell, even if it isn’t — what we are seeing is Dennis Rodman as the worst type of tourist. Hey, did you know in China, you can get ice cream cones from McDonald’s? Yeah, I know, right? They’re becoming more and more like us!

Added the witness, “Dennis was making a total jerk of himself. He wouldn’t leave, and he wouldn’t let anyone talk to him about shutting up, or what an oppressive country North Korea is. Eventually he had to leave the bar because the bartender was starting to get [bleep]ed-off.”

For the record, Dennis Rodman’s people deny such a thing occurred:

After checking out of the Time on Sunday night, Rodman headed to the Marriott Downtown. A rep for him said, “He ended up going to the Marriott because he was leaving in the morning and we wanted him to be closer to the airport.” Another rep said, “The Time is Dennis’ favorite hotel . . . There were a lot of people taking pictures, his security just didn’t like it and asked to move him out of the hotel. There was certainly no incident.”

Hotel boots rowdy Rodman over Kim Jong Un scene (NY Post, h/t Deadspin)

UPDATE, 1:22 am: By the way, here’s a video of him arriving in Pyongyang (h/t Washington Post).

This is getting more bizarre by the second. Dennis Rodman appeared on ABC’s This Week with George Stephanopoulos earlier this morning to do his first public interview since returning from North Korea. What?

He had a message, too (one which the State Department, for the record, has no interest in):

“He wants Obama to do one thing: Call him. He said, ‘If you can, Dennis – I don’t want [to] do war. I don’t want to do war.’ He said that to me.”

Watch as Stephanopoulos asks Rodman if he has a “responsibility” to ask the leader of North Korea about his human rights record. Because Rodman’s the one we want doing that, huh. More out of The Worm:

“[Kim] loves basketball. And I said the same thing, I said, ‘Obama loves basketball.’ Let’s start there.”

The British never will be able to broach peace with North Korea because they don’t get basketball. Just remember that.

Rodman left Pyongyang on Friday, but not before giving this memorable quote to Xinhua:

Kim “is like his grandfather and his father, who are great leaders, he is an awesome kid, very honest and loves his wife so much.”

An awesome kid. How many North Korean scholars are crying into their pillows, spiteful that history will forever remember Rodman as the first American to meet Kim Jong-un since his ascension to power?

What we still have to sort out is what Kim and co. believe they gain out of allowing him in the country — and, for that matter, VICE, which produced one of the more self-aggrandizing and unflattering “documentaries” on the country in 2006. Maybe young Kim, just 30 (or so) years old, really just yearned for a friend. He’s got a pretty good one now in a fellow human being who perceives himself as equally misunderstood.

Dennis Rodman: Kim Jong Un Wants President Obama to ‘Call Him’ (ABC News)

One word to describe this… go.

Surreal?

Groundbreaking?

Sordid?

Humanizing?

Humanizing.

This happened yesterday as VICE staffers and players from the Harlem Globetrotters took on North Korea’s “Dream Team.” Here’s another look, via Vice:

Foreign Policy also has a pretty decent look of the affair, including this shot:

While Adam Cathcart makes this observation:

North Korea’s key nuclear negotiator, Kim Gye-gwan, is two seats away from Envoy Rodman, front Rodong webpage rodong.rep.kp/InterKo/index.…

— Adam Cathcartさん (@adamcathcart) 2013年2月28日

Meanwhile, if you’re looking for the definitive account so far of Kim Jong-un’s love for basketball, read Nate Thayer’s story on NK News, from which we get this picture:

That’s it for now.

North Korea has a friend in Dennis Rodman and Vice (Vice)
Dennis Rodman makes the front page in North Korea (Foreign Policy)
How Eccentric Dennis Rodman Was Welcomed Home In Pyongyang (NK News)

The wonderful folk of Koryo Tours, who aren’t responsible for Dennis Rodman but is for so many other Westerners who visit North Korea, passed along this video recently of Americans playing basketball in the DPRK last June. It was the first ever “USA-North Korea basketball exchange.”

“Well, I hope this opens up opportunities for the future,” participant Luke Elie, founder of Coaches Team International, said. We wonder if he knew, eight months later, Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman would be following in his footsteps.Coaches Team International had two training sessions in North Korea, highlights of which are above.

Koryo Tours believe wholeheartedly in engagement through sport – our 2012 exchange was a wonderful opportunity for Americans and North Koreans to come together through basketball, and play together on the same team.

Pictured above, flagged by Gawker via Daily NK, is Kim Jong-un, the dictator as a young man during his days at a Swiss boarding school. How exceptionally notable is it that from a team with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, he chose to don the No. 91 jersey belonging to Dennis Rodman?

We’re reminded of this AP report back in 2009: “A classmate recalled him as timid and introverted but an avid skier and basketball player who was a big fan of the NBA star Michael Jordan.” Ah, so maybe Kim was just a sports hipster?

Whatever the case, here’s your reminder that Dennis Rodman — The Worm, The Weird One — is currently in North Korea with VICE and, in all likelihood, killing it. You can follow his adventures at the hashtag #WORMinNorthKorea.

We can’t wait for his sit-down with the man — now all grown up — pictured above:

It’s true, I’m in North Korea.Looking forward to sitting down with Kim Jung Un.I love the people of North Korea. #WORMinNorthKorea

— Dennis Rodmanさん (@dennisrodman) 2013年2月26日

Dennis Rodman is going to North Korea. I know I typed the exact same thing in the headline, but it bears repeating. Reports AP:

Arriving in Pyongyang, the American athlete and showman known as “The Worm” became an unlikely ambassador for sports diplomacy at a time of heightened tensions between the U.S. and North Korea. Or maybe not so unlikely: Young leader Kim Jong Un is said to have been a fan of the Chicago Bulls in the 1990s, when Rodman won three championships with the club.

That’s great, just great. It’s slightly disheartening to see he’s accompanied by VICE, which produced one of the more self-serving and factually incorrect documentaries on North Korea in existence (DPRK scholar Andray Abrahamian nicely outlines its flaws in his paper North Korea and Documentary Film), but none of us can claim to be surprised that this “ambassador for sports diplomacy” might not have Kim Jong-un’s best interest at heart.

We very much hope, however — if there’s one thing we hope for besides averted nuclear war — that the man known as “The Worm” compares hairstyles with the Outstanding Leader during his trip. Why? Via Reuters:

North Korean heir-apparent Kim Jong-un’s slicked-back, high-sided haircut is a fashion hit in Pyongyang where young men are apparently queuing up for a similar cut.

(Queuing up for a similar cut? I thought that wasn’t allowed.)

The chubby youngest son of the current leader, Kim Jong-il, slicks his hair back at the top, and has it trimmed to the scalp to about an inch above the ears.

Interesting hair. That’s one point of commonality between Rodman and Kim.

If you think of a second point, please let us know.

UPDATE, 11:04 am: 

RT @dennisrodman: Maybe I'll run into the Gangnam Style dude while I'm here @psy_oppa #WORMinNorthKorea

— Edward Wong (@comradewong) February 27, 2013

It's true, I'm in North Korea. Looking forward to sitting down with Kim Jung Un. I love the people of North Korea. #WORMinNorthKorea

— Dennis Rodman (@dennisrodman) February 26, 2013

They love basketball here. Honored to represent The United States of America. #WORMinNorthKorea

— Dennis Rodman (@dennisrodman) February 26, 2013

Dennis Rodman worms his way into North Korea (AP, h/t Alicia via Deadspin)

Former NBA stars Allen Iverson and Dennis Rodman were in Cixi, Zhejiang earlier this week to scrimmage against the Beijing Ducks, which still has (the newly minted) Stephon Marbury, as part of an eight-game, multi-team tour. One Beijing player said it was a dream to play against AI. Ducks coach Min Lulei, however, had no use for such sentiment. He chided his team in the post-game press conference for not taking the opening game seriously enough, which strikes me as just silly — the Ducks are a month removed from winning the CBA championship, and they haven’t practiced together since.

The American team won Game 1 121-104 on Saturday (Iverson scored 11 points), and won Game 2 128-125 on Monday (Iverson did a little better, with 13 points to Marbury’s 22). AI will have to do a little better than that if he wants to raise his stock among Chinese teams. As you’ve no doubt heard by now, he says he’s interested in the CBA, replying “why not?” to the question of playing here. Putting up a combined 24 points against star-crossed opponents should make CBA team officials ask: Why?

Here’s some more game footage. And here is AI arriving in Shanghai’s Pudong Airport. Video of the top embed on Youku for those in China after the jump.