A goalkeeper makes dozens of decisions over the course of every match, from how to position himself to whether to attack or sit back on incoming crosses, and the slightest miscalculation can sometimes be the difference between a win and something lesser. Never will this point be more obviously illustrated than during Sunday’s Chinese Super League match between Chongqing Lifan and Liaoning Hongyun, when Chongqing goalkeeper Sui Weijie’s crucial decision to take a sip of water cost his team a victory.

In the 84th minute, Chongqing was up 1-0 when it committed a foul just outside its box. While Chongqing’s defenders are pleading their case around the referee, Liaoning’s Ding Haifeng quick starts the free kick, taking everybody by surprise — most of all Chongqing’s goalkeeper, who was sipping from his water bottle when the ball rolled into his unmanned goal.

This is the face of a man who knows he done screwed up and will sleep a lonely sleep:

The funniest part, by far, is the reaction of the Chongqing manager, who can’t even be all that mad at his keeper since it looks like he was caught just as unawares… and equally thirsty:

(Via Fail Goal via Who Ate All the Pies)

Liaoning Whowin played host to Shangai Shenhua on August 1 (yes, eight days ago; sorry, this is late), which wouldn’t be worth mentioning if not for a terrible, terrible tackle that might be called straight-up assault if it didn’t happen on a soccer pitch. (And if people in real life, hilariously, also could not use their hands.) You can watch it above, or look at the screenshots below to get an idea of how bad it was.

That’s Liaoning’s Zhang Jingyang with a jump-slide tackle on Shanghai’s Dai Lin, who didn’t even have the ball. Nice play, son. You do soccer good.

Zhang then throws up his hands in faux disbelief, as if he didn’t actually jump with both spikes up and cleat the ankle of a player who didn’t have the ball. Yes, angels in the fucking outfield carried you through the air. Shanghaiist asks, “Is this the worst tackle in the Chinese Super League?” and the answer is: let’s see something worse.

Players who should be in the local chengguan brigade, and probably will be when they stop playing: Problem No. 1 with the Chinese Super League.

And here’s Problem No. 2: outrageously shitty referees. Wild East Football, explain:

Shenhua shored up their defence and played possession football in an attempt to run down the clock. But it backfired when a long ball into their box was punched out by Wang Dalei. The clearance fell to Edu, who took a little time to bring the ball under control. Wang rushed out to block, but Edu turned him. As the Brazilian was preparing to shoot, Wang dived at his feet to snatch the ball. However the referee awarded a penalty, judging Wang to have unfairly impeded Edu. The replay is not conclusive but the award appears to be soft. The Shenhua players and bench were absolutely incensed, not for the first time this season dubious penalty calls had fallen on the Shanghai team. However it was of course all to no avail, Wang was booked, then Edu smashed the ball home for a late equalizer.

You only get one look at it here, starting at the 51-second mark, but would you have called this?

Shanghai’s been victimized before by the refs. Here’s a video on YouTube called “Shanghai Shenhua player sent off for dragging ‘injured’ opponent from field.”

If you need more proof of the referees’ incompetence, check this out from a game between Guangzhou Evergrande and Hangzhou:

TWO referees miss a goal in a PENALTY SHOOTOUT between Hangzhou & Evergrande unbelievable http://t.co/c7v03J5XyU

— Cameron Wilson (@CameronWEF) August 9, 2013

Youku vids of the above:

The latest penalties in China soccer’s match-fixing drama have been a long time coming – several players, officials and referees were already sent to prison last year – but as announced Monday, they were still fairly significant. In summary:

• Shanghai Shenhua stripped of the 2003 league title
• Two teams docked 6 points each going into next year
• One team docked 3 points
• Three teams fined 1 million yuan
• Four teams fined 500,000 yuan
• Five teams’ registration annulled
• 33 individuals banned for life (eight players, seven CFA officials, four refs, 14 club/league officials)
• 25 individuals banned for five years (seven players, three league officials, 15 assorted club officials)

A few things stand out. First, a reminder that long before the failed Drogba-Anelka experiment, Shenhua used to be quite good. Yes, they bought the title in 2003 (though quite why they had to fix a game against the now-defunct Shaanxi Guoli, a club that finished bottom of the league by eight points that year, is beyond me). But prior to 2011, the club had finished outside the top six just three times in 29 years. Their last two finishes? 11th and 9th.

Second, the decisions being made often seem to be pretty random. It was known a decade ago that Shenhua was up to no good, but the decision was previously made to punish the individuals involved and not the club, under the specious reasoning that the individuals had already departed, so it would be unfair to punish the club. So why the change now? Six points is a huge amount in a league as tight as the CSL, so Shenhua will have their work cut out for them to avoid relegation. The other team docked six points, Tianjin Teda, is in the same predicament.

Despite this announcement, however, the popular opinion among fans online is that the teams got off too lightly, and that the punishments will have little effect. For comparison’s sake, Italian side Juventus was initially sent down two divisions in 2006 for match-fixing, though that was later reduced on appeal, and they played in Serie B (Italy’s second division) in 2006-07. Closer to home, Chinese teams have previously been relegated outright for match-fixing.

Soccer in general — and particularly in this part of the world — is corrupt. Exhibit A: Europol’s recent bombshell that up to 700 matches around the world look suspicious, and that ringleaders of Asian origin are to blame.

China’s own soccer scandal has dragged on for so long that most fans know to remain skeptical. But – insert huge caveat here – the worst finally appears to be in the past, and the league can now concentrate on improving the quality of the product. Clubs could do worse than looking closer to home for future success, rather than overpaying foreigners for instant (and largely ineffective) remedies.

Mark blogs at The Li-Ning Tower.

Didier Drogba rode into China with hopes of changing Chinese football. “I think I have a little bit of experience — I come here to share that experience and some knowledge,” he said back in July.

Given the chance on a different team, he might have succeeded, and we might be writing a different story. But in Shanghai, under a bullheaded chairman who, at one time, threatened to pull his investment in FC Shenhua, Drogba’s time in China has been nothing short of disappointing.

And now he’s gone.

Drogba confirmed on Monday that he’s leaving for Turkey, where his new club, Galatasaray, has a spot in the Champions League. Through a PR company, he announced, “I am looking forward to playing in the Champions League again, against the best clubs in Europe.”

His well-compensated Shanghai running mate, Nicolas Anelka, 33, is set to leave as well. Le Sulk is currently on loan with Juventus, and it’s highly unlikely he’ll return to Shanghai.

Shenhua’s third big off-season foreign acquisition, 33-year-old Joel Griffiths (formerly of Beijing Guo’an), left the club in December for Sydney FC. The Griffiths signing didn’t have a tenth of the buzz as Anelka’s and Drogba’s, but as I wrote here in March, “No one expects him to outscore a healthy Anelka over the course of the season, but I for one wouldn’t be surprised if he outplayed him.” Well, it turns out that in seven fewer appearances, Griffiths did outscore Anelka, five goals to three.

Meanwhile, rumors continue to swirl that FC Shenhua’s crazy chairman, Zhu Jun, may move the team out of the city. Via Shanghaiist:

As if that weren’t enough drama for Shenhua, rumors swirled late last month that team chairman Zhu Jun threatened to ditch Anelka, Drogba, and head coach Sergio Batista during a shareholders meeting. Insiders also say Zhu went as far as to claim he would move the club to another city.

James Griffiths (no relation to Joel), who keeps a good watch of his city’s team, points out that Shenhua would do much better to distribute its largesse to local players. He’s right. It takes more than a few big-name foreigners to build a successful team, and for the price of one Anelka or Drogba — who was the highest-paid player in Chinese Super League history at more than $300,000 a week — a squad could buy itself a very solid midfield.

And finally, the moment of truth: what difference did Drogba, Anelka, and Griffiths make in their brief season in Shanghai? A one-point improvement from the season before. One. Shenhua finished 8-8-14, ninth place in the 16-team CSL.

UPDATE, 1/30, 1:07 am:

As Didier #Drogba joins #Galatasaray, his contract with Shanghai Shenhua is still valid. Shenhua is preparing to report to #FIFA #ESPN

— TencentSportsさん (@TencentSports) 2013年1月30日

Xu Liang scored a magical goal in the 74th minute of a scoreless match between Guo’an and Dalian Shide in Beijing’s Workers Stadium on Saturday. The ball slipped from a Dalian player’s feet directly to his, and catching a glimpse of goalkeeper Zhang Chong a bit too far off his line, Xu let loose with a seeing-eye strike from beyond midfield. The ball zipped over Zhang’s head and found the back of the net, blowing the cap off a crowd that had been teased all night with goals that failed to materialize (just a few minutes earlier, Guo’an’s Freddie Kanoute was incorrectly deemed offsides on a ball he slammed home). The 62-meter goal proved to be the only one of the match.

After the jump, I’ve embedded the entire second half of the Beijing-Dalian game, so scroll ahead to the 32:30 mark if you want to see the goal. There’s also a GIF, originally posted to Sina Weibo, because this moment clearly deserved it.

(H/T Alicia)

Eh. Could’ve been worse. Wasn’t exactly a bus wreck.

Bayern Munich vs. Beijing Guo’an, 6-0

7′ Zhang Junzhe (own goal)
10′ Arjen Robben
43′ Claudio Pizarro
74′ Thomas Muller
78′ Mario Mandzukic
80′ Mario Gomez

Youku video for those in China after the jump.

Unlike Shanghai teammate Nicolas Anelka’s rather tepid Chinese Super League debut, Didier Drogba made quite the impact yesterday in his first CSL match. Coming on as a sub after halftime, Drogba’s first touch of the ball was a 40-yard free kick that AFP aptly described as “outrageous” (video of this strike appears after the jump). The former Chelsea striker would go on to set up his team’s only goal, a beautiful through-ball into the box that teammate Cao Yunding converts in the 68th minute, to help Shenhua earn an away draw vs. Guangzhou R&F.

A video of game highlights is after the jump, along with Youku videos for those in China.

Ridiculous free kick:

Game highlights:

Manchester United landed in Shanghai’s Pudong International Airport just after midnight today and were greeted by hundreds of enthusiastic fans, according to the team’s website. This marks Man U’s first China trip since 2009, part of a wider effort to reach out to the Asian market. It shouldn’t surprise you to know that the Red Devils are one of the most popular teams in this country, and Wednesday’s friendly vs. Shenhua FC should only renew fan loyalties.

By the way, you know how Didier Drogba plays for Shenhua now? He came off the bench and set up the team’s only goal yesterday in a 1-1 draw vs. Guangzhou R&F FC.

Youku video of Man U’s arrival for those in China after the jump.

Here’s Paul Scholes talking about his previous China trip:

And here’s Sir Alex Ferguson signing a fan’s shirt, via Wild East Football:

Heavy, heavy rains have again left Beijing’s streets flooded, but that hasn’t stopped tonight’s Chinese Super League match between the hometown Guo’an and Hangzhou Greentown FC. Above, the first goal of the night, putting Hangzhou up 1-0. That remains the score in Workers Stadium as the two teams slog it out in the 77th minute.

After the jump, another video of the rain, plus pictures of fans. By the way, three people have died today due to this weather: two died (two more injured) when a warehouse under construction blew over, and another was struck by lightning.

All via Sina

I should mention that the ubiquity of the “shabi” (or “SB” on the Internets) chant in China probably means the real translation should be “asshole,” as “cunt” seems to be on a different tier of offensiveness in American English. But I’ve chosen to go with the literal translation, just because. (In the interest of fairness, we should point out that if a star player arrived in Beijing, Guo’an fans here would chant “Shenhua SB” as well.)

Didier Drogba arrived in Shanghai yesterday. FC Shenhua fans went to the airport at 5 am to welcome him, and went nuts when his plane landed at 8 am. The former Chelsea star said he’s here to help Shenhua win a championship, ignoring the fact that Shenhua kind of sucks, currently ranked 12 of 16 in the standings.

Wild East Football was at Pudong Airport yesterday, and reports:

Shenhua supporters had been waiting for up to an hour and a half, virtually taking over the line 2 metro out to Pudong Airport, which takes around an hour to reach from the centre of Shanghai. They carried Ivory Coast Flags, Shenhua banners and custom made “Welcome to Shanghai” banners for the new king of Hongkou.

“Didier Drogba, la-la-la-la-la” and “Shenhua are champions” were some of the chants  sung by the fans, who broke into a chorus of “Guoan SB” on several occasions to insult their old rivals who they play tonight in the China Derby.

Fan optimism is so cute. With Frederic Kanoute, the 2007 African Footballer of the Year, now in Beijing — wearing No. 11, just like Drogba in Shanghai — we think the China Derby has become all the more fascinating and intense.

Too bad Shenhua and Guo’an don’t play again this season. The two teams clashed last night for the second and final time, with Drogba in the stands. This Beijing fan is sad to report that Shenhua won 3-1, splitting the season series (Guo’an won 3-2 on March 16 in Nicolas Anelka’s debut). Highlights are here (YouTube, Youku). Incredibly, Guo’an — currently No. 3 in the Chinese Super League — has yet to win at Hongkou, Shenhua’s home stadium, so I suppose the result shouldn’t have been too surprising.

Shanghai FC Shenhua has a problem with prima donnas, specifically one Nicolas Anelka, currently the highest paid player in the Chinese Super League. Last month, according to the Telegraph, he threatened to quit the team, whining, “If there is still no one to support me and (they) continue to play little tricks behind my back… then I will quickly decide whether or not to retire.” A little earlier, according to Wild East Football, Anelka said at a press conference, “In my opinion, the most important area in football is the midfield, if Drogba comes, and no-one can pass to him, then that is no use.” He spared no potshots for his current teammates: “They are too young and their experience is not enough. Our tactical problems need to be solved, these are the reasons why we are not scoring goals… I’m amazed by Chinese football, there is quite a gap with the European game, such things can only be improved through better training.”

Things aren’t likely to get less dramatic now that Shenhua is expected to ink Drogba to a contract that will make him the new highest paid player in the CSL. (That won’t make things awkward with Le Sulk, not at all.) But the signing process has been… frustrating. According to ESPN:

Shanghai Shenhua owner Zhu Jun is confident that Chelsea striker Didier Drogba will announce his arrival at the Chinese club in the coming days.

…

“You should ask this question to Drogba’s management,” Zhu Jun told reporters asking when the announcement would come. “We have put in great effort for nearly half a year and particularly last week, when we met with his management team to reach a unanimous agreement on some crucial points.

“As of this morning, things are developing in the right direction, but I don’t know if Drogba will announce he is joining us today. Right now, I really don’t know. Maybe I can give you all an answer tomorrow, maybe we need to wait a few more days. Who knows?”

Well, that’s good. Who knows? Let us all wait, like the boss himself — the man who will be paying this 34-year-old, on-the-decline player a reported 888,000 RMB per week.

But… what are we waiting for, exactly?

The video game magnate who runs the free-spending football club is just waiting for Drogba to announce his future via his personal official website.

This website. When the day comes, there better be sprinkles, flash explosions, and, like, twenty pop-up ads for free ice cream and mp3 downloads. Otherwise, Shanghai fans and management will have been held hostage to the whims of a star football player’s personal website webmaster. 

UPDATE, 6/20, 10:52 pm:

Sure enough:

One month after sealing Chelsea’s victory in the European Champions League final, Didier Drogba signed with Shanghai Shenhua on a two-year contract that will reportedly make him China’s highest-paid player.

Shanghai confirmed the signing on Wednesday, and Drogba said on his website he will join the Chinese Super League team in the country’s financial hub next month.

No details were given on Shanghai’s offer, although local media reported the club was willing to pay as much as $15 million per year.

[Associated Press]

Proving that hell hath no fury like a soccer fan whose team just earned an unexpected result, Beijing Guo’an fans poured into the street outside Workers Stadium — a very, very busy street, mind you — after Saturday’s 0-0 draw to Qingdao Zhongneng and acted like riotous hooligans. Although the “near-riot,” as Global Times describes it, didn’t quite reach Croatian level, there was one victim — a gray Jaguar occupied by people who weren’t even believed to have been at the game. The Jaguar’s crime? For having Tianjin license plates — Tianjin’s FC Taida, of course, is one of FC Guo’an’s biggest rivals.

The Beijing Public Security Bureau alluded slyly to the incident, posting on its microblog, “people should keep cool during hot weather.” (Translation: don’t act like morons… even if your team can’t manage a goal against one of the worst teams in the Chinese Super League.)

Zi Xiangdong, PSB media officer, told Global Times, “This is no good for publicity.” Funny you mention that, Mr. Zi — in the videos after the jump, you’ll find some cops doing the bare minimum to stop this fray. (Images via Tianya)

The above two videos on Tudou and Youku:

The morning after Beijing Guo’an defeated Guizhou Renhe F.C. Moutai Football Team (thank you, sponsor) 2-1 at Workers Stadium, Guo’an’s B team played a barnburner against Renhe’s B team at an isolated little pitch outside South Fourth Ring Road. I happened to be there, and in the minute that I happened to be recording, Guo’an scored a goal. No word whether this was the winning goal, but it was late in the game, and Guo’an prevailed 3-2. Youku video for those in China after the jump.

In the 82nd minute of last night’s Shanghai Shenxin vs. Qingdao Jonoon Chinese Super League soccer match, which was televised nationally on CCTV-5 (and simulcast on Beijing’s biggest local station, BTV), Brazilian striker Antônio Flávio of Shanghai gratuitously kicked the legs out from under Qingdao’s Zheng Long a Qingdao player, then appeared to swipe at Qingdao’s Zheng Long with his fist. It’s unclear from the above video whether he made contact, but Zheng sure made it look like he took a haymaker. Chaos ensued, with benches clearing. After being shown a red card amid a developing fray (five total red cards were given that night, including one to Zheng Long for no apparent reason), Flávio appeared to backtrack, unsure of the mess that was enveloping him. Two Chinese dudes then went at him with ill intent, trying to punch him (or something), and that’s when the Brazilian hightailed it for the tunnel.

Chinese Super League wants to be taken seriously, and why shouldn’t it be? World-famous Anelka plays in Shanghai (alas, not Shenxin, but the city’s other team, Shenhua), and soccer is generally pretty big here. So one wonders what the biggest embarrassment of last night was: that the skirmish happened — a “brawl,” as some would call it, even though it lasted barely four minutes and no one landed any punches — or that no one on the English Web seems to care. 

We shouldn’t say no one. Shanghaiist has a story, after all, but do a Google search and watch how few results turn up. (Note: It’s got at least one more result than before, in this post, but there were exactly three hits this evening: from Shanghaiist, Shanghaiist Mobile, and a short mention on a message board). One wonders whether CSL officials might want to play up this incident, in stark contrast to China’s basketball league, which was doing its damnedest to turn attention away from controversy during last month’s playoffs.

Chinese Internet seems pretty active though with chatter, so that’s a good sign. Even on a Sunday night when everyone had something better to do, it’s heartening to see that two of CSL’s middling squads, playing in fog on the crappy turf of a half-empty stadium, can still quicken the Chinese sports fan’s pulse for one second or two.

Here are some hilarious photos of the incident from Sina:

The most expensive player in Chinese soccer history made his belated Super League debut yesterday in Beijing after sitting out last week’s CSL opener with a knee injury. About 51,000 people packed Workers Stadium to see it. Even without Anelka, the 33-year-old striker nicknamed “Le Sulk” during his time at Arsenal, the game probably would have drawn massive interest, considering it was the National Derby, played between hated rivals Beijing Guoan and Shanghai Shenhua, and it was Beijing’s home opener. But Anelka’s presence, at the very least, piqued the attention of international media. “Former Chelsea striker brought a crowd of 51,000 to its feet,” read the sub-head on a Goal.com story (neglecting to mention that many of them were chanting “stupid cunt” at anything that moved); ESPN wrote, “Nicolas Anelka made an instant impact in Chinese football on his Shanghai Shenhua debut”; Xinhua called him “impressive.”

None of the praise is really merited, you know. Perhaps hampered by his injury — which would be a fine excuse — Anelka actually did very little. His goal was the result of a defender’s gift, an egregious error in the backfield by Ma Nu at the 4:19 mark in the above video. He had a few bright spots — a nice 25-yard-run in the 12th minute (0:27 mark) before the ball got poked away, and a seeing-eye through-ball at the 34th minute (1:48 mark) — but there was also a lot of standing around and some remarkably feeble attempts at controlling goal kicks (which I didn’t include in the above because he never actually “touched” the ball in those instances).

I’m not faulting Anelka, though. Compared to some of his teammates, he did just fine. Shenhua got dominated in the first half and outplayed over 90 minutes — they were lucky to have scored any goal at all (their first came courtesy of a handball in the penalty box). The team finished 11th out of 16 in the CSL last year, and it looks like it’ll be a battle for them to enter the league’s upper echelon even with their $14.1 million import.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t say a word about Australian Joel Griffiths, who switched from Beijing to Shanghai after last season, drawing the ire of some Guoan fans who think he sold out. He was the one who caused the Guoan handball before converting the penalty, his second goal in two league games. No one expects him to outscore a healthy Anelka over the course of the season, but I for one wouldn’t be surprised if he outplayed him.

The entire game: