Happy Halloween, everybody. For those of you wondering, the some-years-strong Beijing tradition of dressing up and riding Subway Line 2 on the weekend before Halloween will come to a close this year. Authorities are worried about the upcoming Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit, so they don’t want their public transportation clogged with beer-guzzling foreigners doing weird shit and attracting crowds.

Reuters reports:

Beijing police have warned people they face arrest for wearing Halloween fancy dress on the subway as it may cause crowds to gather and create “trouble”, a state-run newspaper said on Friday, unveiling a list of APEC summit-related restrictions.

Specifically:

“Public transport police point out, please do not wear strange outfits in subway stations or in train carriages, which could easily cause a crowd to gather and create trouble,” [the Beijing News] said.

Police had the power to arrest those who “upset order”, the paper said.

“If the chaos is serious and causes a stampede or other public safety incident, the police will deal with it severely in accordance with the law.”

It’s a shame, because the PSB crashed the party last year and we got along pretty well. They rode a stop with us, asking politely that we leave at Dongsishitiao.

Those wishing to call the authorities’ bluff have our full endorsement, of course. Photos, stories, etc., please send our way. (More likely, you’ll be in costume and find yourself needing to use the subway; we’re pretty sure no one would mind, but if you notice anything out of the ordinary or noteworthy, let us know.)

Good news is, there’s still plenty to do this Halloween, and if you’re a slacker who needs some easy-to-make China-centric costume ideas, we have you covered. See if you can beat my DIY costume from 2008 (center):

Note: top image is from the Hong Kong subway.

If you find yourself needing transportation around Bajiao Amusement Park on Subway Line 1, Tiantong Yuan North Station on Line 5, or Longze Station on Line 13, perhaps it’s best to take the bus or a cab. (This is the first and only time I’ll recommend taking a taxi over the subway, considering this city’s traffic). If you need a reason, check out the video above.

Those security lines are the result of manual checks, instituted at the above three stations (and six other unnamed ones). The Nanfang has some pictures via Weibo, and holy crap does it look like a nightmare. I ask this in all seriousness: what’s the point of security checks that create such bottleneck if the purpose is to prevent attacks on large crowds? If someone wanted to harm the maximum amount of people — you know, now that China has a terrorism problem — wouldn’t that person just target the queue here?

The news presenter in the video says authorities hope passengers will respond with “understanding, support, and cooperation.”

At least you have fair warning. We’ve seen worse Beijing subway crowds.

Here’s another look:

On Wednesday, Tunghai University student Cheng Chieh (Zheng Jie), 21, got on a subway from downtown Taipei and began indiscriminately stabbing people. Four were dead and 24 injured when the horrific attack ended, a portion of which was captured on video, above.

The video was flagged by the blog My New Life in Asia, which adds:

Upon his capture, Zheng kept repeating: “Since I was a child I’ve been wanting to do something big!” (我從小立志要做一件大事!) (note). According to preliminary investigations, the man was not drunk. When asked by the police whether he knew that he would be punished, he replied: “I know I will be sentenced to death” (note).

SCMP reports that Cheng told police the attack felt “nice.”

“[Cheng] also told us he chose to commit the crime from Lungshan Temple station to Jiangzicui station because he knew the ride – the longest between stops – would give him more time to kill,” said an investigator with the New Taipei City police department.

That’s Online has several graphic pictures of the attack’s aftermath.

The Wall Street Journal’s China blog made the cool map above, which shows Beijing’s subway stations translated literally into English. They enlisted that indispensable tool, Baidu translate, to help with the task. Sadly, it’s like a quarter-complete, but whatever, we all know WSJ employees aren’t paid to do fun things.

We kid. (No, we don’t; but this is actually quite fun – Chinese words English-speakers should adopt.)

Real-Time China Report:

Earlier this month, a map of Hong Kong’s MTR system with stations’ Chinese names literally translated into English made the rounds on the Internet, featuring such gems as “Permanent Security” (Heng On) and “Bamboo Basket Bay” (Shau Kei Wan).

That map got us at China Real Time wondering about the literal translations of Beijing’s subway station names. We couldn’t fit all 200+ stations, so we narrowed it down to some with the best translations.

There are some fun ones, such as Puddle of Accumulated Water, Car Man Village, and Cholera Camp. Others are about what you’d expect.

It’s good WSJ didn’t wait until next year to do this, cause then they’d have dealt with this monstrosity:

Beijing’s Subway Stops, Literally Translated (WSJ)

“Unexplained disturbances” caused a glass door to shatter on Line 1 of the subway system in Shenyang, Liaoning province this morning, though the likely cause, per chatter on microblogs, is a fight that occurred inside the train.

The official Shenyang Subway microblog confirmed this suspicion. Drops of blood could be seen around the station platform. Line 2 was unaffected.

We’re disappointed there’s been no video posted of the skirmish, which — if it resulted in a broken glass door — might have topped either this glorious Shanghai subway fight or these two biters from Guangzhou. Oh well. There’s time yet.

Here are a couple of pictures:

These signs have started popping up in the Beijing subway sometime in the last few months.

They’re my favorite. On so many levels. First of all, I love that Word Art is making a comeback. That was my jam back in middle school when I was making powerpoints about Mount Everest. But the caption is also pretty priceless.

中国梦，地铁梦
China Dream, Subway Dream

Now I like the Chinese Dream as much as the next guy (insomuch as one can grasp a nebulous and purposely obscure concept), but this left me asking questions.

What is the link between the China dream and subway dream?

Presumably these two concepts are linked, but how. Is the subway dream a part of the China dream? Is it about mass public transportation being representative of the Chinese dream? Is it a more traditionally Confucian concept where units of self, family, and group are a representative microcosm of the state?

What is the Subway Dream?

Besides the word cloud POWER, BEIJING, HIGH-SPEED TRAIN DEVELOPMENT, CHINA, and SUBWAY. 

My dreams, as one Chunjie crooner sang, are not big. I dream of a subway where I can find a seat. I dream that there’s nobody convinced that the volume of their voice directly corresponds to how successful their conversation is. I dream of a subway where I can sit down in a seat, and when I get up have my own peaceful rise.

When will China hire grown-ups to design things?

Never.

It’s okay, we’ve all been there. Maybe not in the middle of a train on Beijing Subway Line 1, but… we all know the feeling. No one is here to judge.

Maybe just snicker a little.

Footage taken last night by Sam, who tells us, “I actually was too late and missed the real good spews, but what I captured works. Too bad it doesn’t include the horrible stench.”

Beijing might not welcome some of you after all.

The Beijing Subway’s official microblog posted a message on Sunday (since removed) that it was upset about uncivilized passengers — specifically, “locusts,” a word that Hong Kongers use to refer to mainland Chinese tourists — leaving their trash on Line 10.

Hug China with the translation:

Beijing Subway V: #Civilization hand in hand with you# [Subway civilization discussion]  The Line 10 is scattered about in mess after “locusts” have left. The capital city of Beijing is well praised for its tolerance, but sometimes is also criticized for its over-tolerance. For those that intentionally destroy Capital Beijing with bad behaviors, what we can say is only that You are not welcome!

Unsurprisingly, netizens caught a whiff of discrimination in that post. Did Beijing Subway mean to imply that certain groups of people — locusts refers to out-of-towners, so… migrant workers? — aren’t welcome?

Via Sina:

“When they say that Beijing does not welcome you, it sounds like they mean anyone who is a non-local, when in fact they only mean people who throw their garbage everywhere,” the Net user said.

Net user Lanseyaojidingxixi said that it is a shame that Beijing is calling non-locals “locusts” when mainlanders have been called “locusts” by people in Hong Kong and should therefore know better.

“Who are the ‘locusts’ anyway?” the Net user asked.

It is a shame that Beijing is calling non-locals “locusts” when mainlanders have been called “locusts” by people in Hong Kong. Beijing Subway has given up its high ground — higher than even Hong Kong — just to reinforce some crappy stereotype about the boorish migrant worker. Gone are they days when we can shake our heads and tsk-tsk at those discriminatory Hong Kongers. For shame.

(H/T Alicia)

Expattery, defined.

But listen: it was much better than that castle party in Tianjin. There was a heartfelt rendition of Lil Jon & the Eastside Boyz featuring Ying Yang Twins. And I feel like, in the end, we even bonded with the Public Security Bureau officers who boarded our train to politely ask us to depart. We said one more stop, so they rode it with us…

And then we got on a bus.

UPDATE, two more pics, via Hannah:

UPDATE: Here’s a video from the following night’s subway party.

We at Beijing Cream do not actively condone buffoonery, excessive alcohol intake, or buffoonery as the result of excessive alcohol intake, but understand we are surrounded by all of the above anyway — and that it can be fun. And so it’s with no small amount of ambivalence that we announce: this Friday, November 1, revelers in Halloween costumes will be gathering around 9 pm (+30 minutes or so) at Dongzhimen Subway Station and riding south on Line 2 for this year’s official Halloween Subway Party. BYOB.

We can vouch for the integrity, overall decency, and general spirit of this year’s principal participants, but of course, hopefully you understand that by joining this event you waive your unalienable right to not be mocked and pilloried on public forums, including this one. Then again, if you’re willing to dress as a dinosaur or a Jedi or Bo Xilai and act a fool on public transport, you probably already don’t give a shit.

Try your best to avoid scaring other riders. Offer them a drink. Smile a lot. Don’t be a dick. Just remember: you want to find yourself featured under this tag, not this one.

UPDATE, 11/1, 11:36 am: We’ve just learned of another subway party, this one on Saturday (tomorrow) starting at two locations, Wudaokou and Dongzhimen. They’re keeping specific plans under wraps for now, so just get in touch if you’d like more info.

UPDATE: Here are images from the November 1 subway party, and a video from the November 2 party.

Youku user chenkai0104 uploaded this video of two men in a flat-out melee on Line 2 of the Shanghai Metro on Tuesday. These chaps show some real form! Check out the passengers laughing from the sideline, delighted to have front-row tickets for this bout. The two men pause for a rest at the 34-second mark as a referee steps in. And then, for all our benefit, the sparring resumes.

Oh Boris. He of this hilarious Sina Weibo account is in Beijing this week for trade talks, and isn’t it just so like him to bring an entourage of reporters onto already-congested Subway Line 1 to do… what is the point of this video, exactly?

Just skip ahead to the final three seconds of it, beginning at 0:50. Trust me, just do that, and you’ll be fine.

SCMP reports that Johnson came away with the impression that Beijing subway is “crowded.”

“It was not the peak hour, yet the traffic was comparable to the rush hour in London,” he said.

Dude. You’ve seen nothing.

In other news, Daily Mail has this photo of the London mayor:

But don’t sweat it, Mr. Johnson. Former president Hu Jintao’s been photographed taking a much bigger eye-chomp out of his tea-server:

Fun fact: this site already has Boris Johnson as a tag. Check it out.

(H/T Shanghaiist)

What you are looking at is Beijing Subway’s Line 13 on the morning of Thursday, July 18, around 7:30. It’s likely the Xierqi station — a picture of which, tweeted out by Joe Xu, we linked to on Friday — which is a transfer station and one of the cleaner, better-looking ones in the system. It has, like other stations in Beijing’s vast underground transportation network, built-in artificial bottlenecks intended to relieve congestion in the form of gates and narrow staircases. On some occasions, however, those fail. For you see, in China, sometimes there are simply too many goddamn people.

China is explained for you in this one video. Want to know why this country is the way it is? People. Many of them. Why is the pollution so bad? Too many people. Why are people pushy? Too many people. Why is there no soft power? The government censors too much shit and suppresses expression because they’re afraid of the people — the people of which there are too goddamn many.

We’ve circled the Xierqi station below in red, a color that is what one sees, proverbially, amid such congestion, and a fine representation of hell, a circle in which is surely constructed with Xierqi station on Beijing Subway Line 13 as a model.

If we’ve seen worse, it’s not by much.

Also see: The Mother of All Traffic Jams (Warning: It’s Horrifying)

(H/T Reddit)

A young woman got into a fight with subway security last Friday at Beijing Subway’s Changping Line. According to the video description, the scuffle began when she refused to put her bag through the X-ray machine, reportedly saying, “My bag costs twenty-fucking-thousand bucks, can you afford to touch it?” She then began cursing the poor security guards, with her male companion joining in.

Okay, context time: security check at Beijing subway is unnecessary, and as we’ve seen before, easily bypassed. But for crying out loud, it takes, what, 30 seconds to go through it, max? Throwing your bag into the scanner adds, on average, like five seconds to your travel time. Also, the people who work next to these machines usually are wide-eyed trainees who hate their jobs more than you hate yours, so why give them any grief? Does it really make you feel better about yourself? How shitty must your life be, and how low your self-esteem? Put your bag through the damn scanner like everyone else.

Later, the woman reportedly yelled, “I’ll fucking call my daddy to kill you.” When more security guards (chengguan?) came, a fight began, during which a cop’s arm was bitten. (All of this is still according to the video description, so take it with a grain of salt.)

We’re not sure whether the bag-carrying woman is a fu’erdai — a second-generation rich — but let’s see… rich accessory? Check. Brattiness and flaunting? Check. A threat to call on a parent to do her dirty work? Check. We’re gonna go ahead and tag this one fu’erdai.

Original Youku video here.

Vid in high-def:

Two spicy women came to blows on the Chengdu subway after reportedly bumping into one another, or something. Check out the woman in green who takes a seat next to one of the lassies at the 40-second mark, and immediately regret it. Her spot is vacated 15 seconds later.

At least this subway fight wasn’t bloody.