If it bleeds, it leads — and if it contains porn, firing squads and Kim Jong-un, play it up! (Whether it’s true or not is a different matter.)

The Independent, a British newspaper, has managed to squeeze all these things into one glorious headline:

[Some] performers from a well-known orchestra and light music ensemble were arrested on 17 August, accused of filming themselves having sex and then selling copies of the tapes.

These shamed starlets of the Unhasu Orchestra – among them Hyon Song-wol, Kim Jong-un’s ex-girlfriend (!) – were supposedly dealt with Pyongyang style:

Uh… huh. As it happens, Kim Jong-un’s current wife, Ri Sol-ju, is a former member of the Unhasu Orchestra. The story goes on to imply jealousy-driven motives and court intrigue worthy of King Joffrey.

Follow Johan U. @uuao

Ever wondered how safe your valuables are when you’re onboard an international flight?

There might be reason to be careful, especially if you’re traveling in southeast Asia – gangs from mainland China are supposedly targeting unsuspecting airline passengers.

What first brought this to our attention was a story reposted by Lost Laowai. The original, which was circulating on Facebook last month, claims to be a firsthand account by a man who had money and valuables stolen during a flight to Hong Kong. After noticing another passenger taking out his bag from the overhead locker, he became suspicious:

When I opened the overhead locker (not above me) and saw my leather bag was the only one occupying the space I knew there was a problem. I examined the content, only to find all of my wife’s jewellery, along with some cash had been stolen, during the flight.

Upon discovering this, the passenger alerted the cabin crew and prevented other passengers from getting off until the thief could be identified.

It turned out to be a passenger standing in front of me, who once identified proceeded to offload money, jewelry, camera equipment and false documents, running into tens of thousand, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stolen goods.

There are reasons to be suspicious about this story. Not only has it been passed on in the good old style of “send this letter to ten friends or you will get cancer and die,” it also has all the elements of an urban legend: it was posted anonymously, written in an exaggerated tone, and does not contain any verifiable details about the incident, such as when it happened or which airline it was.

In this case, however, the story is at least based in truth. Last year saw a wave of thefts on international flights in southeast Asia, particularly flights between Hong Kong and Singapore.

There is a clear pattern to all the crimes: in all of the reported cases, money and valuables were stolen from overhead compartments while the victim was sleeping or otherwise distracted by the in-flight entertainment, and whenever arrests were made, an overwhelming majority of the culprits were from Henan province in China. There is strong evidence that this is the work of well-organized gangs.

Last April, a series of thefts on Singapore Airlines flights prompted the local law enforcement to act. Eleven suspects, all from mainland China, were arrested.

Patrick Lim of the Singapore Police Force, who investigated the crimes, told Home Page News, “We collated information on their flight patterns and discovered that these suspects had a specific flight plan. Generally, they would fly from Hong Kong to Indonesia and transit to Singapore. They would then fly back to Hong Kong within the same day.”

The law enforcement agencies of Singapore and Hong Kong have been cooperating in their investigation.

It appears the thieves were aware of a legal loophole: if a crime takes place on an international flight where the aircraft is registered somewhere else, it is outside the jurisdiction of the police at the destination airport – in other words, the thieves had a get-out-of-jail-free card. In Hong Kong, many of those who were arrested managed to escape justice.

According to a South China Morning Post article from last October, the Hong Kong law enforcement was forced to change its tactics: suspects are now being charged with “disorderly conduct.”

In 2012, at least 64 cases were reported in Hong Kong alone. The number of reported thefts has dropped sharply since then, but the gangs won’t give up just yet – the latest incident happened just a week ago: two men from Henan were arrested at Macao International Airport after stealing 30,000 yuan from fellow passengers on a flight from Shanghai.

(H/T Bill Bishop; image via Macao Daily News, above link)

People in Shanghai never stop complaining about Beijing, and with sandstorms sweeping into the capital, the people in this country’s Second City have been growing quite smug about their marginally healthier air.

Well, now… Shanghai isn’t exactly environmentally pristine. This weekend, more than 900 dead pigs were found added to the aquatic ecosystem in the Songjiang section of Huangpu River. It could, of course, be seen as an improvement on the lifeless fish floating on the surface — or this, or this — except for the stench: people living close to that section of the waterway have complained, becuase dead pigs apparently smell.

According to a government spokesperson, the pigs do not pose a health hazard, and the risk of E. coli is not much higher than normal. The local government is currently investigating where the dead animals came from.

UPDATE: Up to 2,800 pigs. Also, this video:

Global Times, a little earlier today — when the carcass count was a mere 2,200 pigs — offered these details:

“The number is expected to rise as there are still six barges that have not returned from collecting carcasses. We have to act quickly to remove them all for fear of causing water pollution,” Xu Rong, director of Shanghai Songjiang District Environmental Protection Bureau, told the Global Times.

Xu said the dead pigs were probably dumped in the river in neighboring Zhejiang Province, although the source is not yet known.

On Saturday, the bureau sent a barge from Mishidu Dock in the Songjiang district to the Shuikou River in Pinghu, Zhejiang Province, where it discovered the bodies of many pigs along the Pingshen Waterway, which runs from the city of Pinghu to Shanghai.

According to the ear tags of the dead pigs, they were from farms in Jiaxing and Pinghu in Zhejiang Province, xinmin.com, a Shanghai-based news portal, reported, citing the Shanghai Songjiang District Agricultural Commission.

“Samples of the dead pigs have been sent to the agricultural commission to determine the cause of their deaths. We’ll know the results in three days,” Xu said.

Twelve barges are currently used in search efforts.

UPDATE, 3/12, 10:54 am: Now over 3,000.

Last week, four men in Yan’an, Shanxi province received sentences between 28 and 32 months for stealing 10 female corpses from their graves, reports Xi’an Evening News.

After washing the corpses at home, they managed to sell them for a total of 240,000 yuan. The thieves even forged medical files (and presumably fake identities) so that it would be easier to do so.

Why would anyone do such a thing?

The answer has to do with something called minghun [冥婚], or ghost marriages. Carrying on the family line is extremely important according to Chinese tradition, and obviously, those who have the bad idea of dying single and unmarried cannot do that.

In that case, in certain rural parts of northern China, grieving relatives might find a suitable (i.e. dead and single) spouse for them, often through a matchmaker.

The practice of ghost marriages goes back thousands of years, but is extremely uncommon nowadays except in certain rural areas of Shaanxi, Shanxi and Hebei.

Obviously, body-snatching is not an accepted part of this, but since there are dowries involved, there is money to be made for unscrupulous dealers who don’t mind getting their hands dirty.

Modern ghost marriages typically involve effigies made from papier mâché rather than actual corpses, so they are more similar to the burning of “hell money” to dead relatives.

This kind of belief might sound ridiculous. Then again, so is believing that those who love people of the same sex (or belong to a different church) will burn forever in an underground furnace.

(H/T Bill Bishop; image via)

If you listen really carefully, you can hear the world smallest violin playing for all the corrupt officials in the People’s Republic – the campaign against corruption and wasteful spending means they’re no longer allowed to splash out on 8,888 yuan on bottles of fine tiger penis wine or whatever they drink.

However, there’s always the law of unintended consequences (or rather, supply and demand): since the campaign started last year, a number of companies that cater to the needs of the rich and the powerful are now feeling the pinch.

Around Christmas it was reported that Maotai, the brand of choice for the drinker in want of some conspicuous consumption, was hit hard by the campaign.

Likewise, Compagnie Financière Richemont, which owns the Montblanc and Catier brands, has seen its sales slowing. It doesn’t take a Benedict Cumberbatch to see why: according to one luxury goods insider, “As much as 60% of expensive watches in China are gifted to officials.”

Meanwhile, corrupt officials have been rushing to sell luxury properties and move their assets abroad. According to a leaked goverment corruption report, a whopping $1 trillion was smuggled out of China in 2012 alone. (To put it in perspective, that’s about three billion bottles of Maotai).

A bit closer to home, the average turnover of high-end eateries in Beijing is reported to have fallen 35%, according to National Business Daily. (Being a respectable newspaper, NBD refrained from mentioning similar figures for escort services or top-notch brothels, but we’re all able to read between the lines.)

The paper mentions Beijing Xiangeqing, an upmarket chain of restaurants, is revamping its entire business model in the wake of the government anti-corruption campaign. Dishes that cost more than 200 yuan are going to be taken off the menu. There are also rumors that the chain will axe one third of its staff.

Mistresses all over China are no doubt shedding bitter tears over the rapidly declining dining options, but don’t worry, we’ll look into starting a charity foundation that will aid them in these difficult times.

We’re still waiting to see how the anti-corruption drive will affect Audi sales.

So, it seems that some people have yet to fully understand why racism is a bad thing. With tensions in the South China Sea remaining high, we’re still being treated to bizarre examples of unhealthy nationalism.

The latest can be found here in Beijing: the proprietors of a snack shop in Houhai called Beijing Snacks [百年卤者] have put up a notice refusing customers from countries engaged in maritime disputes with China. 

The bilingual sign above, via Rose Tang, reads: “本店不接待日本人菲律宾人越南人和狗 — This shop does not receive the Japanese, the Philippines, the Vietnamese, and dog.”

This kind of sign would result in a hefty fine in most places and instant removal, but here, it’s more likely that a restaurant gets in trouble for “hurting the feelings of Chinese people” by referring to sensitive history. About a year ago, a restaurant in Shanghai was fined 47,500 yuan for mentioning the “French Concession” in an ad. Love for country in the form of overt discrimination? No problem!

(H/T @badcanto and Rose Tang)

UPDATE, 2/28, 12:44 am: Apparently the Philippine government is aware of this sign. Via ABS-CBNnews:

Meantime, the Philippine government on Wednesday said it is treating as an isolated incident a Beijing restaurant’s refusal to serve Filipinos and other customers from countries locked in maritime territorial disputes with China.

In a press conference, Foreign Affairs Spokesman Raul Hernandez said the Philippine government is aware of the photos posted on social networking sites of the restaurant in Beijing.

Asked about the controversy, Hernandez said: “We think the notice that was posted on that shop in Beijing is a private view about the whole situation that is happening between the Philippines and China.”

“We hope it is not state policy not to allow Filipinos in restaurants in Beijing,” he added.

Meanwhile:

A report by Radio Free Asia earlier quoted the Beijing restaurant’s owner as saying that he put up the sign out of patriotism. “Chinese customers support me,” the owner, identified as Wang, told BBC News.

UPDATE, 3/2, 3:45 pm: The owner reportedly removed the sign on Thursday, but remains defiant about it.