Like bacon jam, glow-in-the-dark frisbees, and Monsters University, we sure don’t need this video mashup Jiang Zemin set to Gangnam Style. But we sure are glad to have it.

By the way, the jiang in Jiang Zemin (江澤民) is the same as the first character in Gangnam Style translated to Chinese (江南style). How is this video only now happening?

(H/T Shanghaiist)

The Internet’s closet of amusing gallimaufry has yielded this video, which shows a young man vigorously dancing Gangnam Style on a Beijing subway train on the surburban Fangshan Line. This was taken on Tuesday around 6 pm, according to the Youku description.

We like how the man sitting next to the watermelon brother makes no attempt to pretend he’s amused. If ever there was a time for a comic speech bubble with the words “Kids these days…”

We’ve seen our share of Gangnam Style dances and remixes, from the good to the bad to the political to the Ai Weiwei, but nothing quite as weird as this.

Our friends over at That’s Beijing tweeted the above video, titled “Beijing Dancer (Mr. Fabulous).” It was uploaded to YouTube on Sunday by Michaeljava, who writes:

People in Beijing dance in almost every park from organized line dancing to traditional dancing to modern dance. They sing songs and really have fun but these two guys had their own deal going on. I can’t explain what the guy with no shirt was doing but he seemed to be mixing some kung fu and free form dance but the dancer in the hat was awesome! He was blasting music from his PA system and seemed to have his own take on Psy’s Gangnam style. I just call him Mr. Fabulous!

Now please carry on with your Gangnam Style embargo. Psy has a second song now, after all.

H/T:

@anthonytao Special props to the Gollum impersonator: I think we know what 2013′s hot summer look is going to be…#mrfabulous

— That’s Beijingさん (@Thats_Beijing) 2013年4月16日

Psy unveiled his newest single, “Gentleman,” at midnight on Thursday, then christened it on Saturday at a solo concert at Seoul’s World Cup stadium in front of 50,000 fans. That should tell you exactly how worried the people of South Korea are about its neighbor’s threats, and offers more context for the phrase “heightened tension.”

Before the concert, Psy, i.e. Park Jae-sang, was asked about the situation on the Korean peninsula. As reported by the Los Angeles Times:

“It’s a tragedy. We are the only countries divided right now,’’ Psy said somberly.

His single has amassed 53 million views so far, by the way. It’s not Gangnam Style, but then again, nothing is.

Sina has so very helpfully transcribed the new song’s lyrics:

Lyrics of ‘Gentleman’

Alagamun-lan, weh, wakun, heya, hanun, gon

Alagamun-lan, weh, makun, heya, hanun, gon

Alagamun-lan, ari, gari, hanon, kari, he

Alagamun-lan, we-like, we like party, hey

Ichiba, varriya, is hara moru, mashi sondori, yama, varriya

Yougun, pegi, tur, equa, machen, varriya

Noga, onku, pega, haga, kunge, nande, varriya

Damn girl, you’re so freakin sexy

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

Alagamun-lan, weh, mikuneya, hana, gon

Alagamun-lan. weh, sikuneya, hana, gon

Alagamun-lan, pali, pali, wasa, nelly, neh

Alagamun-lan, nali, nali, nasa, pali, hee

Ichiba, varaniya, nori, moli, holy, daddy, chunga, ri

Varriya, get feeling, feeling good, brutake

Varriya, gachu, gunya, sorinage, sorinage

Varriya, damn girl, i’mma party, morphine

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

Gonna make you sweat

Gonna make you wet

You know who I am, west side

Gonna make you sweat

Gonna make you wet

You know who I am, west side

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

I-I-I I’m a, I-I-I I’m a

I-I-I I’m a, mother-father-gentleman

Image via Sina, h/t Alicia

‘Gangnam’ singer Psy rocks South Korea with new song (LA Times)

North Korea may be distressing policymakers here and abroad with its threats of nuclear blah-blah-blah, but most people tend to shrug off its proclamations as rhetorical bluster, which we’ve all seen before. “Final destruction,” DPRK? Really? You mean, this is finally the final one, now?

North Korea, at this point, is a parody of itself, but that doesn’t mean we’ve exhausted the satirical possibilities. Here’s Kingsoft to demonstrate. In an ad for its new Liebao (Cheetah) browser, it depicts a fat Kim Jong-un pulling out a rifle and threatening to execute one of his commanding officers due to a browser glitch. As described by Abe Sauer on Brand Channel:

But the fast-fingered lackey whips open a Liebao browser and saves the day. “Use Liebao. Launch Victoriously” reads the tagline. Then everyone starts Gangnam Styling because… of course.

Sauer proceeds to analyze the Liebao browser’s market potential, concluding that “without an English interface, it will likely remain” largely anonymous outside of China.

“One thing is for sure,” he writes, “Kingsoft can expect its market in North Korea is dead.” Dead as Barack Obama in flames in this DPRK propaganda video. Dead as New York City. Final destruction dead.

China’s Kingsoft Mocks North Korea in Liebao Browser Ad (Brand Channel)

As advertised, South Korean rapper PSY made his first televised appearance in mainland China at the Shanghai Spring Festival TV Gala, which aired on Dragon TV on Sunday. There were indeed dancing robots, as you can see. But much more bizarre was the exchange at the beginning, in which PSY tried to teach Gangnam basics to the hosts, who appeared contractually obligated to play dumb as if there were still people in the world seeing this for the first time.

After going over the steps, PSY explains in English, “And then, upper body is like, like riding a horse.”

The long-legged dumb hottie of a host in the glittering gold dress says in Chinese: “Really like riding a horse. Audience, pay attention, there’s feet and hands.”

“So together,” PSY says, “five, six, seven, eight.”

And then this happened (GIF by Gabe Clermont):

Oh God, the audience. The butchery. The personification of tepid earnestness and assembly-line enthusiasm.

It’s all over, everyone. Shark jumped. The song is officially dead. RIP Gangnam Style, July 2012 – February 2013.

Here’s a longer version of the performance, if you can stand more chit-chat from the insufferable hosts:

Hunan will be spared a visit from Uncle PSY this Spring Festival, as it looks like he’ll be galloping on Phoenix Dragon TV’s Spring Festival crap-a-thon in Shanghai, effectively making the Changsha government look like a bunch of liars.

According to gossip queens Xinhua, PSY arrives in Shanghai tonight, where he’s scheduled for a performance at Cuvve on The Bund February 1 and will then spend the next five days psyching himself up in the mirror for the big game.

Also, he’s very down-to-earth for not wanting any fuss or fanfare:

PSY is keeping things very low key and simple, Phoenix Dragon TV publicist Feng Liang told reporters… “We offered to provide PSY with a very detailed itinerary for security and accommodations, but after he saw the words ‘hotel suite’ ‘eight-man security team’ and ‘all-inclusive,’ he completely refused them.”

PTV’s gushing publicist later spewed, “His fee was less than even when we had Jacky Cheung and Andy Lau for our New Year’s concert.”

PSY told the station how he rolls:

“There’s no need for a VIP corridor at the airport, the simpler the better. No need for security, Shanghai’s very safe. No need for banquets, I just want to eat Shanghai traditional snack foods, and I’ll pay my own bills. No need for a suite, I just want to stay in a room on a high floor, where I can really see what Shanghai is like.”

One person I’m pretty certain won’t be turning down hotel suites is Celine Dion (see notoriously demanding rider here), who will not only grace the CCTV Spring Festival Gala with the rarely-performed “My Heart Will Go On,” but also pair up with PLA songbird Song Zuying, the now “legendary mistress of Jiang Zemin,” for a duet on “Jasmine Flower.” (Here is Song singing something annoying in 2009.)

Titanic will always be afloat in the hearts of the Chinese people, but for someone who had to cancel tour dates last year due to inflamed vocal chords, I wonder how this diva will handle a lungful of Beijing.

James writes about music for That’s Beijing.

We have here a very late entry to the Internet’s ongoing competition for best Gangnam Style remake/parody, but sometimes the best really do come last. Please give your attention to Etoilec1, whose flipbook animation of Gangnam Style captures and embodies PSY’s original production in all its creativity, craftsmanship, zaniness, and sheer wonder. Is it scene-by-scene perfect? No. For example, it’s missing background on all the panels. But it’s a flipbook animation of the whole damn song! Have I already mentioned that?

Our joy at discovering this (we have Alicia to thank) is only dampened by our disgust at YouTube for stripping the audio from Etoilec1′s original upload for copyright reasons (it was posted January 20). But you can watch it above on Etoilec1′s Facebook page, where it’s received more than 41,000 of both likes and shares, numbers that are fast increasing as we speak.

Step aside, Chinese leaders, Zhangjiajie, bikinied women, Novak Djokovic, and Ai Weiwei. You’ve all been one-upped.

A group of 40 construction workers took to looting, rioting, vandalism, mayhem, and Gangnam Style on Monday in Wuhan, Hubei province to protest unpaid wages. Reports are that they’re owed 233,000 yuan from their company. With no other recourse, a man surnamed Lu, the contractor, organized a group Gangnam dance in front of a concert hall. Another protester/dancer said he needs his wages to travel home for Spring Festival and keep his three children in school.

You remember the days when, in order to grab media attention for your cause, you had to overturn cars, hold people hostage, and blow yourself up? This is much better. We hope these workers succeed.

Apologies for being two days late with this, by the way — The Times, Guardian, Global Post, China Daily (linked above) are among the big-name publications already on the story — but we’re really rooting for these guys. The pictures below are from Caixin Online:

(H/T Eric Fish)

Ten violinists at a Beijing concert on Saturday gave their creative take on this year in viral music, with Gangnam Style taking the fore. Explains Sina:

“Disturbing”, or “Tan Te” in Chinese, mixing “Gangnam Style”.

These violinists really let their imagination go free. And it worked very well. The performance was met with rapturous applause. The concert also featured soundtracks from movies like “Schindler’s List” and “Pirates of the Caribbean” performed by 10 violinists including worldwide famous Lyu Siqing.

In case you missed it, this part of the performance was called “Disturbing Style.” But it’s violins, damnit! Nothing disturbing about it unless the players are on a sinking ship, about to die.

(H/T Alicia)

Alicia first saw this slideshow on China News, but it’s since migrated to Sina, and if you thought a slideshow of scantily clad women doing Gangnam Style wouldn’t make it to People’s Daily, under the headline, “40 sweet beauties dance Gangnam Style in bikini,” you have been living under a rock. Catch up.

These ladies (and at least a couple of gentlemen) were out to promote Henan province on Saturday at the finals of the Fairview PTZ 2012 Global Urban Tourism Ambassador Midwest Ministry. (Apologies for the translation — I have no idea what the event is supposed to be, but those words are all in the title.)

More pictures after the jump.

China took another step toward legitimizing its Soviet-purchased aircraft carrier, the Liaoning, on Sunday when five pilots of J-15 fighter jets successfully landed on the carrier, led by squadron leader Dai Mingmeng. Even though experts say it’ll be at least four years before the Liaoning is “fully combat capable,” according to China Daily, Sunday’s exercise was nonetheless a milestone for the People’s Liberation Army…

…for netizens to poop on.

Take a look at the above video (just resign yourself to the fact that it’s set to Gangnam Style; it’s been viewed 464,000 times in the last day). Here’s a screenshot via Ministry of Tofu:

As Ministry of Tofu writes: “This is a screen grab of a news segment about the successful take-off and landing of J15. In the image, two flight deck crew members, also known as shooters, give a hand signal they’ve copied from the U.S. navy to the pilot to launch the fighter jet. Chinese netizens immediately picked up the amusing-looking signal and gave it their own little twists.”

Actually, that particular screen grab shows two men wearing rabbit ears pretending to shoot dead a carrot tree. But, you know… Liaoning, military, war, rabbits, what’s the difference? We’re all dead in the end, might as well laugh along the way.

While we’re on the subject, remember to pour one out for Luo Yang, 51, general director of the J-15 research team, who died of a heart attack aboard the Liaoning on Sunday morning following the successful take-off and landing tests. Poor guy: lived just long enough to see the fulfillment of his life’s dream.

Update, 5:06 pm: With thanks to Kevin Ma:

Hold your saddles everyone, your favorite horse dancer is coming to China! Unfortunately, his first mainland performance will be in Changsha, as part of Hunan Satellite TV’s “Carnival Week” to ring in the new year.

Amanda, I kid. Changsha is a fine city. Unfortunately, it’s in the middle of nowhere.

Ah, I kid again. It’s not nowhere. Unfortunately, it’s Hunan province.

We linked to this in last night’s East is Read post, but it deserves another look: how racist Americans responded to PSY closing the American Music Awards. I can already see the Weibo messages from China’s angry youth on NYE…

HAI! PSY, get off my TV and go play StarCraft, n00b, speak Chinese you in CHINA.

Eh. Doesn’t quite have the ring as this, does it?

Here’s the official announcement via the Changsha government. We can’t wait for them to pull the rug from under us.

It is reported that Hunan Satellite TV will hold the Carnival Week to celebrate the New Year of 2013 in Changsha for the first time, and South Korean star PSY will put on his first performance in China at the celebration. The details of the performance are under discussion. On December 31, it is much more likely that PSY will stage his funny horse riding dances with Changsha audience.

Hunan Satellite TV has prepared several plans for PSY’s performance. Showing great interest in this celebration, PSY’s agent will gradually finalize the details about PSY’s schedule and songs sang that day.

Also, this deserves reposting, from our Memes this week:

UPDATE, 2:31 pm: As you would expect, lots of people want PSY to perform, so there’s confusion as to when PSY will make his actual China debut. Early indictions are that he’ll almost certainly perform during Spring Festival, most likely as part of CCTV’s big annual gala. China.org reports:

PSY’s first show in China will be hosted by Hunan TV, and the final details are being discussed at this time, according to Xiaoxiang Morning News. Leaked information indicates that this could happen as soon as Dec. 31, 2012.

However, Liao Siyong, the director of Xingfeng Media, denied the news. He said: “This is mere speculation and is impossible.” He said that PSY’s requested fee is three times that of Jay Chou. “Jiangsu TV has already printed advertisements using PSY’s image and is willing to pay one million USD, which is enough to sign PSY for an entire year,” he added.

However, the director said PSY’s biggest desire is to perform during the CCTV Spring Festival Gala next February. He said: “Even if the CCTV Spring Festival Gala pays nothing, he is still willing to perform.”

Hate it as I do, I understand why some things are censored. You can’t have a perpetually restless populace in the countryside, for instance, believing that an alien overlord will descend from heaven and deliver them from misery if only they’ll overthrow the current regime. You can’t have top leaders exposed as hypocrites. You can’t have porn.

What I don’t understand for the life of me, however, is why THIS is censored. The photoshopped picture of China’s top leaders doing Gangnam Style — found on Facebook, posted to this website on November 13 (above link) — was shot down by the moderators of Sina Weibo. A user with more than 131,000 followers, Gangsong Samha (港怂萨沙), posted the pic to Sina Weibo on Saturday, 1:10 pm. It was removed at 2:56 pm. China Media Project explains:

The images of Chinese leaders are carefully managed by propaganda leaders, and the suggestion that they would dance in formation and shake their hips is certainly unwelcome.

But why is it “certainly unwelcome”? Are we making fun of Hu Jintao? Are we saying Wen Jiabao has a horse-face? Are we commenting on Xi Jinping’s inability to move his hips laterally? Help me out here. How is 1) this picture at all political, other than the politicians? and 2) this picture at all insulting?

I know the answer, of course. Because censorship. Because censorship.

The accompanying text to the Sina Weibo post, by the way, reads:

PSY’s Gangnam Style has been really hot lately! Wuppa! [Ha ha]

Ah, there we go. Maybe the censors deleted the post because it was stupid.

By the way, we still don’t know, definitively, the identify of this image’s creator. Please step forward if you’re the genius.

(H/T Alicia)

This is photoshopped, in case you’re the type to need that kind of information explicated.

Previously: Xi Jinping bobblehead does Gangnam Style.

UPDATE, 11/20, 2:30 am: Someone tried putting this picture on Sina Weibo, and it was almost immediately deleted.