Ed’s note:

On April 19, the US Department of State published its annual Country Reports on Human Rights Practices, which included a section on China. It was typical, mundane, and features nothing you don’t already know, including restriction of Uighur and Tibetan movement, harassment of journalists and dissidents, prison labor, discrimination, extrajudicial killings, etc.

On April 21, the State Council Information Office of the People’s Republic of China published its annual Human Rights Record of the United States, which was typical, mundane, and features nothing you don’t already know, including school shootings, low voter turnout, politically authorized eavesdropping, a widening income gap, discrimination, extrajudicial detention of foreigners, etc. 

Because we’re on the same damn carousel that goes round and round, a year has passed but the sights haven’t much changed. Below, our previous post on this subject, with analysis from TAR Nation.

Originally posted May 31, 2012:

Tao: The State Council Information Office of the People’s Republic of China claims its report on the US’s human rights record is “to reveal the true human rights situation of the United States to people across the world and urge the United States to face up to its own doings.” Did it succeed in doing so?

TAR: No. The Chinese government has difficulty in differentiating between human rights, civil rights, civil liberties and simple controversy, which is easy to understand as there is very little of any of these in China. Gun ownership, for example, is a controversy, not a human rights violation. It was less a report on human rights in America and more of a statement that shit happens in the USA. I was reminded of the “There are no cats in America” song from An American Tail. There bloody well are cats and they will fucking stab you.

Another detractor was the fact that the Communist Party spends half its propaganda power hating on the Western media every single day but relied on it almost exclusively for this report. The New York Times, the BBC, Reuters, the Washington Post and Bloomberg were their main sources. Proving that the Chinese government correctly understands irony, if one follows the statistics they quote in the report, many of them lead straight back to the State Department. Oh, except for the part on press freedoms. They had to get some of those from Russia and China.

Of course the US has problems with human rights right now and in the past, problems that some are trying to fix and others are trying to make worse, but the concept of human rights is not the enemy. As with any difficulty, the problem is bastards.

What part of the report was most eye-opening and potentially informative to you?

By far the most hilarious part was the civil and political rights part. It was like watching a bloodstained psychopath ripping a kitten limb-from-limb doing a PETA advertisement. Where was the first place they went? Occupy Wall Street, a vague and thus ultimately doomed protest movement. I never realized exactly how much the propaganda masters had blown it out of proportion. They seem to think that there is a massive government conspiracy to silence the protests. There isn’t. The government of the United States is currently to the left, and so are the protestors. There would be no point. It would be like the Communist party going after the wu mao dang. The Occupy protesters aren’t arrested for their ideas or beliefs. They’re arrested because they’re blocking traffic. The Communist Party seems to not understand that the POINT of civil disobedience is to get arrested, a way to nonviolently shame your opponents and remind your government of their responsibilities. If you don’t get arrested, then you’re doing it wrong. There is a massive difference in civil disobedience and non-violent protest, and I find both rather noble. The difference was expressed beautifully in Martin Luther King Jr.’s But If Not speech.

Is there a part that you think could have been done better?

I think that if I covered my penis and balls in ink and flung myself at a wall, I could have written a better report.

Do you agree with China’s claim that the US has not “faced up to its own doings”? If that’s the case, what should the punishment for the US be?

Yes, and they should be imprisoned without trial for years, beaten, tortured, given a trial without proper legal representation, and then sentenced to arbitrarily long jail terms, reeducation through forced labor, extrajudicial imprisonment by hundreds of guards, intimidation of their family and then finally be brutally executed.

Quoting: “A report published by the U.S. Department of Justice on September 15, 2011, revealed that in 2010 the U.S. residents aged 12 and above experienced 3.8 million violent victimizations, 1.4 million serious violent victimizations, 14.8 million property victimizations and 138,000 personal thefts.” Can you put that into perspective for us?

“He victimized my property. Ouch! My human rights!” I find it disturbing to personify lawns. It just makes cutting the grass tragic. Also, I was in America for 2010, and I am at least responsible for nine of the above figures, so, I will not throw stones… because, apparently, that’s a human rights violation and a victimization.

It seems like homicides are becoming an epidemic that threatens to touch every household in America. For example, according to the report, “Just four weeks into 2011, San Francisco saw eight homicides — compared with five during the same time of the previous year.”

Well, it’s hardly every household. As a matter of fact, assuming that every person who was murdered had at least three people who loved them (which is more than I have and a stretch considering most people who get murdered tend to be dicks), then the amount of people touched by murder in a single year would be approximately 0.00015%. If no one loved them, then it would be 0.00005%. Hardly an epidemic. I’m not defending murder, though. After reading a week of editorials in the Global Times, I can see the merit in it.

Not to mention school bullying. Have you seen the pernicious effects of school bullying, and, more to the point, can you comment on this jackknife powerbomb?

Does the Chinese government think there is anyone on the other side of this issue? Is there a pro-wedgie lobby I don’t know about? The world is full of bullies, and the presence of anti-bullying campaigns in America is at least proof of trying to put a stop to it. Frankly, if the US would have just not published figures on this, it would have never appeared in the report. Trying to fix something amounts to human rights violations, apparently. Of course, we would all like to live in a world without bullying, but without bullying, we would be living in a country called the People’s Republic of Candy, and it would actually be a republic. Sadly, this is not the case.

With regard to the powerbomb: poorly executed. The trick with powerbombs is to change momentum while the powerbombee is at a moment of weightlessness or to rest them on your shoulders for maximum downward velocity.

What are your thoughts on the fact that Americans own guns?

I think, as you can see from the prison population in America, that there are a lot of assholes in the USA. But you can’t give guns to the nice people and take the guns away from the assholes because that’s profiling. Honestly, gun ownership in America is stupid. But, hey, that’s how Americans like to do things, and I say this meaning “Americans,” not some vague “America.” Americans like guns. They’re dumb, but they like them. Thus, the American government can’t pry them from their cold dead hands, which are cold and dead because they have been shot. Also, Americans are really fat. It’s just too difficult to stab someone with pudgy arms. But — and I know this to be a fact — you can level a rifle on your belly, and, if you don’t breathe, you can hit a raccoon in the eye from 100 yards.

Let’s play a little word association. Occupy Wall Street.

Naked hippie women.

Law enforcement.

Naked woman in a hat.

Incarceration.

Naked women in communal showers.

Unemployment.

Depressed naked women.

Immigration.

Exotic naked women.

Rich-poor gap.

Naked communist women.

This is an election year in the US. What effect do you think China’s human rights report will have on President Obama’s chances of getting reelected?

None. The only people stupid enough to put stock in the report are people who think it is a genuine report from China think tanks rather than a propaganda response to the State Department’s Human Rights Report. On that side, you’ve basically got people who believe in aromatherapy and/or ghosts. These people either don’t vote, or vote for tree people and/or racists.

The report’s authors are correct that the US has problems of its own. But I’m surprised that China would resort to such snark to prove a point, and a point that, I should say, is reached through questionable methodology, against a State Department report that is specifically for policymaking and information. Do you think China’s report serves not to enhance its position but weaken it vis-a-vis its own human rights record?

Really? Surprised are you? Look, China’s media is the laughing stock of the world. They’re petty, cruel, predictable and oddly pathetic, second only to North Korea. They’ve been doing this report since 2003, you know, the year Bad Boys II was released. This has nothing to do with enhancing China’s position. China’s relationship with human rights seems to get more complicated every year. They used to just lie about it and say everything was great. Then they seemed convinced that they had a different version of human rights. When the media finally started reporting human rights abuses, it was related to how great China was at fixing it. It seems increasingly clear that China is simply at war with the concept human rights. I know that sounds ridiculous, but they block human rights websites. Why? What could you possibly gain from that? Why, of all the Japanese girls peeing on each other and racist Swedes on the Internet, is the enemy human rights? More to your point, how is anyone else supposed to view that? There is no way the Chinese government can defend decisions to limit information on human rights? So, no, this does not accomplish their goal of discrediting the most important concept of compassion ever devised. I wish I could say that it would all end in failure, but the human race is stupid and will grab at any chance it can to be a bastard.

Finally… is there anything else you would like to add?

Naked women.

Done.

TAR Nation wrote the BJC column To Serve People.

Chengguan, those salt of the earth, are pushing back against negative public perceptions of their profession. One particular urban law enforcement officer in Changzhou, Jiangsu province, Jiang Yifan, created the above video recently to “clear up some misunderstandings,” as Danwei’s Barry van Wyk writes. A couple of things though:

1. A video is in the style of an ad from cosmetics firm Jumei.com. We’re not going to linger on the fact that it’s essentially a rip-off, because whatever, everyone does it. But borrowing from a company whose purpose is to create products that mask blemishes, defects and distortions? Oh chengguan, do you even try?

2. Like all good propaganda, the ad creates an alternative reality where everyone is a model worker with only good intentions, and all problems are society’s fault. It acknowledges just enough of the real world — “Being a chengguan is destined to be controversial” — to make it believable, but absolutely glosses over real, actual problems with the system, one which puts individuals in the unenviable position of doing shit like this.

You know how to elicit sympathy? Show chengguan doing good work. Or a day’s work. Real work. At the very least, chasing chickens. We’d begin to understand, then, that there are individuals behind the uniform, and maybe are not simply a pack of tools, thugs, and petty thieves.

Chengguan makes video to “clear up misunderstandings” of his profession (Danwei)

On Friday, the above, titled “A Short, Three-Day War,” was posted to Uriminzokkiri, depicting North Korean paratroopers and the shells of long-range weapons descending upon South Korea. Via Sina English:

“The crack stormtroopers will occupy Seoul and other cities and take 150,000 US citizens as hostages,” the narrator said.

Propaganda videos are really cute if you imagine yourself watching from 20 years in the future.

Or, you know, watch this:

Youku version of top vid:

(H/T Alicia)

The General Administration of Press and Publication, or GAPP, and State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, or SARFT, are China’s two principal ministries of propaganda, tasked with tweaking, managing, and bowlderizing creative, edgy, realistic, and otherwise inspiring work into a mushy, digestible pap for mainstream consumption. It’s an unpleasant job, but someone has to do it.

But on Sunday, the government announced plans to combine various ministries and departments, so it appears GAPP and SARFT will soon be no more — at least as independent entities. As Offbeat China notes, “The newly-merged organization will be called the ‘State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television (国家新闻出版广播电影电视总局),’” a name that’s so unappeasing that netizens have howled for an alternative.

Wu Shulin, deputy director of the General Administration of Press, and Zhang Peimin, deputy director of SARFT both agreed that the name needed revision. They are looking for a new name that is scientific, smart and international. So Chinese netizens weighed in.

Ah, but wait. We have some suggestions, too. From our staff:

Censors United: No Taiwan Separatism?

Censoring: Uighurs, Nudity, Tugjobs, Sluts

Communist Ultimatum: “No Talking Shit”

Yes, those are good. Nice, concise, evocative. How about a few more of these simple ones?

Family Acceptable Punctiliousness

Publications Under Bannered Excellence

Books and Informaton for a Truer Chinese History

Decorum, Innovation, Complicity, Kraken

Or is the strategy to go the other direction, with longer names, for such a crucial organization deserves a handle that is proportional to its importance, bearing heft, isn’t that correct? We suggest:

Freedom Under Censorship is Key to Family, Adolescents, Country, Ethics

Association Serving Socialist Harmony Overseen by Lying Eunuchs

Restricting International Media Justice with Overweening Bureaucracy

Government Organization For Ubiquitous Censoring of Key Youthful Organizations Under Reports Surprisingly Empty of Legal Framework

Or this one?

Media Organization Thinking How Erring Rightly Foregoes Unreasonable Censorship Keys Excellently Rational Society

If you have other suggestions, please leave them in the comment section.

The name that netizens chose, by the way? Offbeat China reports:

As suggested by numerous netizens… “Ministry of Truth (真理部)”.

POSTSCRIPT: SARFT is gone, but continue to fuck it, and fuck it good. (H/T TAR Nation)

I think, after putting Lei Feng on a telephone pole cross last year, there’s not much more we can do to commemorate this year’s Learn from Lei Feng Day, even if today marks the 50th year anniversary of this “annual ritual in memory of one of [China's] great sons, Lei Feng, a People’s Liberation Army soldier known for his selfless help to others,” according to Shanghai Daily. Ritual. Great sons. Selfless help… SIGH.

As an alternative, maybe you — me, all of us, together — can watch this trailer for an upcoming Lei Feng movie instead?

The film, in English, is officially called The Sweet Smile, but the Chinese title is “Lei Feng’s Smile.” It’s a bio-pic about a man who loves polishing trucks and performing selfless duties. His greatest dream, I think, is to meet Mao Zedong.

Oh, that’s right, Mao Zedong is depicted in this movie. Our only hope is that the penultimate scene is Mao Zedong caressing Lei Feng (dramatized) as the young soldier dies after getting hit by a falling telephone pole (true).

Tsinghua hosted a premiere party a few days ago, and there will be another launch party this evening. Look for it in theaters everywhere soon.

Also see, for this occasion: “Liu Yunshan urges ‘learning from Lei Feng’” (Xinhua); “Chicken nugget resembling Lei Feng sells for $8 million” (China Daily Show).

UPDATE: Screenings in two cities have been cancelled because theaters sold ZERO tickets. Via Hollywood Reporter:

Speaking to the Yangtse Evening Post, a staff member from a Nanjing cinema said the venue canceled all four screenings of the film after it opened on Monday. “Not a single person bought tickets, so we had to pull the screening when the time came – all four screenings hit zero at the box office,” he said. “We are quite surprised, as generally you would sell some tickets for a movie one way or the other.” Meanwhile, a report on the sina.com portal said two cinemas in Xi’an also had to pull the plug on all of their Young Lei Feng screenings due to similar circumstances. The film still remains on release — for now — assuming it starts to sell at least some tickets.

The idea of “national education” as school curriculum was nixed after widespread protests last year, but the National Education Parents’ Concern Group recently discovered that some commonly used primary school textbooks are very biased and use overly affective expressions to teach students “how to build a better sense of belonging to the motherland.”

One Chinese language textbook requires students to be emotional when reading a patriotic poem — for example, by using high pitched tone and reading very slowly. Another English textbook posits that many children call themselves “HK people,” but that this concept is not technically ideal — instead, one should say, “I am a Chinese citizen living in Hong Kong.”

In addition, a fifth-grade general studies textbook, when describing the foundation of New China, only talks about how Mao Zedong established the People’s Republic of China and how the party led the whole country toward prosperity. Dark histories such as the Great Famine, Cultural Revolution and June Fourth Incident are omitted.

Some textbooks teach students to feel proud to be Chinese. But why? Alas, a government can’t brainwash the children to be patriotic, as propaganda can’t last forever. Our advice: do something ethical, treat your people well and bear your international responsibilities – that, better than anything, would make your people proud.

Mandarin with feeling:

State Administration of Work Safety Vice Director Wang Dexue, possibly seeking a promotion, appeared to cry while inspecting a bridge collapse in Henan earlier this week, and let’s just say no one bought it. Netizens took to calling him “New Watch Brother,” a term that has since been censored on Sina Weibo.

All this leads us to China Digital Times’s recent dispatch from the Ministry of Truth, i.e. the Central Propaganda Department, which apparently doesn’t want anyone to acknowledge Wang’s misguided gambit:

With regards to State Administration of Work Safety Vice Director Wang Dexue crying during his inspection of the collapse of the Lianluo Highway Yichang Bridge, do not sensationalize the story.

You know how Wang maybe could have earned praise though? Sorting out the death toll:

The official list of victims who died in a bridge collapse in Henan province is drawing criticism after media reported that the death toll should have been 11, not 10 as given by authorities.

According to a CCTV news report on Tuesday, the list had omitted the death of Shi Yanfei, the driver of a cargo truck that was carrying illegal fireworks when it exploded, leading to the collapse of an elevated highway in Sanmenxia that took several vehicles along with it.

And doing something to ensure bridges don’t collapse in the future. You know, actual work.

Ministry of Truth: Wang Dexue’s Tears (China Digital Times)

The North Korea propaganda website Uriminzokkiri recently published a video showing a dream sequence in which New York City burns, burns, burns.

The sequence is set to the charity single “We Are the World” — you know, the one by supergroup USA for Africa, written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richey.

Check out the 45-second mark in the bottom video, which comes with subtitles (toggle on/off from the bottom-right corner). (The music there isn’t We Are the World because YouTube has taken down all versions of the video after Activision made copyright claims.) UPDATE, 2/6, 11:01 pm: Satire alert. For actual subtitles, check out NK News.

It’s only a question of time…

All around the world, there will be massive explosions. It will be The Revenge.

And then apparently Kim Jong-un takes control of the entire world. Hey, guys: are you still wondering why people would prefer you not build nuclear weapons?

Meanwhile, in a bit of splendid timing, South Korea’s UN ambassador says Pyongyang will be conducting a nuclear test soon:

Ambassador Kim Sook said there are “very busy activities” taking place at North Korea’s nuclear test site “and everybody’s watching”.

Kim told a news conference that in the event of a nuclear test, he expects the UN Security Council to respond with “firm and strong measures”.

Back to the vid. Exactly how creepy is it? Maybe not at all. New York City is vividly depicted being destroyed in Modern Warfare 3, so it’s not like we haven’t seen this before.

The sad part really only begins when the Korean in the video dreaming his splendid dream wakes up.

(H/T Alicia)

According to the Beijing News, a meeting of propaganda department heads was held yesterday to unveil the city’s latest plans to control online content, plans which place microblogs firmly at the centre of propaganda efforts.

So when you see a bevy of new microblog accounts with no profile picture, less than 100 followers, and a constant stream of forwarded links from People’s Daily and badge notifications from Happy Farm, you’ll know the propaganda department’s plan is working perfectly.

Those in attendance, the newspaper writes, were told by Beijing propaganda chief and deputy mayor Lu Wei to mobilise the city’s combined force of over 2 million propaganda workers in opening accounts on microblog sites to spread “positive energy”, a mission described in the report as the guidance of online discussions of sensitive topics in a “positive” direction.

Holy smoke, 2 million paid sycophants. (To be precise, 2.06 million.) If each of them made just one obsequious/truthy/anti-intellectual comment per day, the city would be down 1 million yuan. That’s a lot of dough to pledge to useless halfwits.

In case you’re wondering, the figure was explained as “only as comprising just over 60,000 people directly employed by various propaganda bodies with the remaining 2 million ‘outside the system.’”

Beijing orders its 2.06 million ‘propaganda workers’ to get microblogging (SCMP)

Liu Yunshan, who was introduced to this blog not long ago in relation to Xi Jinping’s displeasure with his handling of the Southern Weekly incident, recently completed a tour of Shaanxi province, and as the chief of China’s Central Propaganda Department, he made sure to bring along some of his propagandizing friends.

Here’s the lead of Xinhua’s write-up, as posted on CRI:

After knocking on three doors at a building in an affordable housing community and getting no response, a senior Chinese leader found himself outside during the coldest month of the year in northwest China’s Shaanxi Province.

Door after door, it happens like this, Liu Yunshan’s knocks met with silence. He thinks: out here, I am cold, unloved, unrecognized. He turns to his traveling secretary to ask for his gloves, but to his great shock and dismay, his companion is no longer the upright, unctuous young man always holding a leather-bound logbook, but a small, crooked, and — by all objective assessments — dirty monkey. “What has become of you?” Liu asks. His inquiry is returned with successive loud, simian whoops. Liu turns to his left, expecting to see the county delegate, who has transformed into a pig. Its snout wet with mud, it glances up with two dark marbles that are expressionless and exasperating. Liu is about to speak, he wants to, but a sound catches in the back of his head. He can feel it there, that tiny spark of language like a rubber ball. No, not like a rubber ball. Like a spark. But he has already said that. Like a ball? For a reason he can’t explain, Liu Yunshan looks at his hands, which are now paws, and when his eyes refocus on the distant, straight horizon, shaped by the dry austerity of this Shaanxi farm, he sees a muzzle, mottled-brown, and suddenly hears the frantic, distraught, and meaningless blast of three sharp barks.

Japan’s highly respected daily The Asahi Shimbun suggested in an article on Monday that Xi Jinping was unhappy with the way the “media control division” handled last week’s Southern Weekly ordeal. Specifically, Xi was unhappy with the way Liu Yunshan, chief of the propaganda department and a longtime Hu Jintao guy, forced newspapers around the country to carry a hardline Global Times editorial.

The article is anonymously sourced, so you’ll have to remember that government officials are usually great at planting stories, but definitely read on:

The propaganda department then instructed all major newspapers to toe the party line concerning the censorship of the Southern Weekly.

At a meeting in Zhongnanhai in Beijing on the night of Jan. 9, Xi, visibly displeased, asked if the media control division was not adding to confusion, sources familiar with the discussions said.

Xi was responding to a report from Liu Yunshan, chief of the propaganda department of the party central committee, on censorship of the Southern Weekly, the sources said.

Liu, a Hu Jintao guy, is part of the seven-person Politburo Standing Committee. As optimistic Xi Jinping supporters would like to believe, it’s Hu’s people who are continuing to screw everything up.

The Asahi Shimbun again:

Xi expressed concerns about Liu’s order that major newspapers around the nation carry the editorial that appeared in the Jan. 7 edition of the Global Times, which is affiliated with the People’s Daily, the party mouthpiece.

The editorial denied authorities’ involvement in the rewrite of the Southern Weekly’s New Year edition.

That Global Times editorial was the one eventually caused a kerfuffle in the Beijing News newsroom.

Continuing:

In an earlier editorial titled, “We need to think about the Southern Weekly in a level-headed manner,” the Global Times said, “We cannot continue old media control methods.”

Liu took it as criticism directed at him, sources said, and the propaganda department instructed the newspaper to publish the new editorial.

Xi suggested that Liu’s handling of the matter has harmed social stability because a problem in Guangdong province has spread nationwide, the sources said.

Hey propaganda department: Xi Jinping is right, you’re wrong.

If there was only some way to get this message to Liu Yunshan and his staff. An editorial in a major paper, maybe…

Finally:

Liu had decided to impose penalties, including dismissals, against editors and reporters who disobeyed the order. But Xi gave instructions not to punish journalists who protested the propaganda department, according to a party source formerly involved in media control.

Xi Jinping is great. Liu Yunshan — fuck that guy. That’s the conclusion we’re supposed to reach, yes?

Alas, we’ve been afforded a glimpse at yet another political battleground. Perhaps the people in charge have finally come to grips with our global digital age and realize the game can no longer be won by merely controlling domestic media: international media can be useful as well. Standby for more of these type of stories from “sources familiar with the situation” — who, by the way, never used to talk.

Xi questions propaganda chief’s handling of censorship row (The Asahi Shimbun)

Central Propaganda Department: Urgent Notice Concerning the Southern Weekly New Year’s Message Publication Incident: Responsible Party committees and media at all levels must be clear on three points related to this matter: (1) Party control of the media is an unwavering basic principle; (2) This mishap at Southern Weekly has nothing to do with Guangdong Propaganda Department Head Tuo Zhen; (3) External hostile forces are involved in the development of the situation. Every responsible work unit must demand that its department’s editors, reporters, and staff discontinue voicing their support for Southern Weekly online. Starting tomorrow, media and websites in all locales must prominently republish the Global Times editorial “Southern Weekly’s ‘Message to Readers’ Is Food for Thought Indeed.”

Just so we’re clear:

1. Party control of media is an unwavering basic principle;

2. Tuo Zhen had nothing to do with the Southern Weekly “mishap”;

3. Publish Global Times editorial;

4. And for pete’s sake, acrostics? Fucking acrostics, people? What are we, kindergarteners?!

UPDATE, 1/9, 4:59 pm: I guess no one specified where the editorial has to be run — like, say, next to a big pest extermination ad.

Ministry of Truth: Urgent Notice on Southern Weekly (China Digital Times)

Southern Weekly journalists were angry, and they’re letting the public know via an open letter. SCMP has the story:

They accused the propaganda office of “raping” the paper’s editorial autonomy. While recognising that the paper could not refuse to run the introductory message, they remained defiant, opening a microblog account and issuing an open letter – later removed – expressing their frustration. About 15 of them were subjected to restrictions on their use of microblogs after discussing the incident at work.

“We demand an investigation into the incident, which has seen proper editorial procedure severely violated and a major factual error printed,” the open letter said.

It is rare for mainland journalists to collectively and openly challenge the authorities, given that it might cost them their jobs or subject them to official harassment. But a journalist working at the paper said most editorial staff supported the action and were contemplating the next move, declining to say whether there would be a campaign to gather signatures.

The article had already gone through revisions before the propaganda office, still not satisfied, seized editorial control without telling anyone. Who needs reporters when you can do everything yourself?

Outrage at Guangdong newspaper forced to run party commentary (SCMP)

By TAR Nation

On Tuesday night, the Global Times published an article damning Elton John for dedicating his performance to Ai Weiwei and encouraging Chinese people to boo future similar performers off the stage. On the same day, GT published “‘Top thinkers’ list a reflection of US values,” a scathing indictment of Foreign Policy’s list, which features, among others, Ai Weiwei.

It seems that GT will do just about anything it can to insult, discredit and destroy Ai Weiwei.

But it was not always so.

THE LOVE AFFAIR

Once upon a time, Ai was a common feature in the Global Times English-language edition. Collaborator on the Bird’s Nest Stadium, world-renowned artist, troublemaker with just enough sense to stay inside the lines, Ai Weiwei.

There was once optimism at the ludicrously nationalistic propaganda rag, confidence that it wouldn’t just be another party-line tool. No one really knows what happened to make GT’s English-language site become an embarrassment to both China and the government for which it plays pitbull. The columns from He-Hu-Shall-Not-Be-Named got more hateful and violent. The toadying slowly rose to nausea-inducing levels. And anyone who had any idealism got fired, quit or paid enough not to mind.

But back in 2009, there was hope that GT could be relevant, and Ai, just bad-boy enough to make it into the papers, was a bread-and-butter play.

In November 2009, Ai was cited in a feature called “Rage inside the machine,” an article so-called for observations in his blog. In the same month, Ai was mentioned in “2009 in features,” noting a New York Times piece “about some of the more disquieting aspects of his life and work.” In September of that same year, Ai was lauded in “Ai Weiwei’s World Map,” a puff piece featuring his gallery opening in 798. Quote: “Commenting on the socio-political and economic climate of contemporary China, Ai uses metaphoric references, humor, pun and political irony to redefine and reconsider the meaning of traditions.”

GT also acknowledged, without foaming at the mouth, his earthquake work:

As an internationally recognized contemporary Chinese artist, Ai found himself under the spotlight again in December when he started an investigation into the student casualties in the Sichuan earthquake last May.

“Artist,” not dissident or traitor or Western stooge or liberal. “Artist.”

It wasn’t just the Global Times, either. No one really had an excuse to hunt the bearded media-savvy artiste. Xinhua was all aflutter over his being chosen by the Danish government to design a replacement for their “The Little Mermaid,” which was going to be at the Shanghai Expo in 2010, a story reported earlier in May 2009. Under the People’s Daily wide umbrella, The Market News (市场报) praised him in 2005. In Global People (环球人物) and in the overseas edition of People’s Daily, Ai got the celebrity treatment. And Economic Weekly (中国经济周刊) fawned over him in 2009 (see above CMP link for more info).

In the Global Times Forum, GT published Ai’s blog post, “Why Barack Obama should talk about human rights.” In December of the same year, Ai got himself a massive feature, “Making waves,” which celebrated and rejoiced in his kitschy grassroots investigation into the earthquake and artwork. Also, in 2009, GT published this picture:

That is Ai Weiwei’s 9,000 backpacks spelling out “She led a happy life in this world for seven years” in memory of Yang Xiaowan, who died in the Sichuan earthquake. The article was a call to arms for brilliant bloggers, opening with, “Reports of the death of blogging appear greatly exaggerated.”

2010 was not much different. Wen Tao, the greatest reporter you’ll never meet, published “Ai Weiwei takes on ministry” in March 2010. From “A bit of Beijing in Berlin” to “Artist share moving stories,” he was China’s premier artist and lovable eccentric. GT seemingly took his side on the demolition of Fake, and they even published Ai’s personal photos of a protest.

Here is a photo of Ai Weiwei actually IN the Global Times building on Guanghualu in Beijing having his photo taken with staff in early 2011, about three months before GT branded him a “tool of the West.”

The important thing to remember is that, at this time, not one editorial from Hu Xijin or Shan Renping said a word about Ai Weiwei. It just wasn’t in their wheelhouse.

Then he “touched the red line,” as Hu Xijin put it.

THE RED LINE

Everything changed on April 6, 2011, after Ai’s arrest for “tax evasion.” Global Times turned on him with a coordinated character assault. The following is an excerpt from “The law will not be twisted for mavericks” (Chinese edition translation, all praise be unto CMP).

Ai Weiwei, who has been called an “avant-garde artist,” was reportedly “led away” by Chinese police recently, and a number of Western governments and “human rights organizations” quickly stepped out to interfere, demanding that China immediately release Ai Weiwei. They also elevated this matter as a “worsening of human rights” in China, and called Ai Weiwei a “champion of human rights in China.”

Ai Weiwei is a “performance artist” who has been quite active in recent years, and he is often called an “avant-garde artist.” He is a maverick standing on his own. He goes against artistic tradition, and he loves “shocking others with words” (惊人之语) and “shocking others with actions” (惊人之举). He also enjoys moving at the “fringes of the law”, doing things “the legality or illegality of which” ordinary people can’t quite grasp.

As Ai Weiwei loves doing things his way, he often does things “others don’t dare to do.” Moreover, he is surrounded by people of similar ilk. He is probably quite clear himself that he is often not very far from the red line of Chinese law.

This is how fast the whole of China’s propaganda machine can turn on anyone, with vicious and injudicious use of quotation marks.

The Chinese newspapers have done this with every dissident to get a headline, asserting that they sold out their country for fame and glory in the West. They did it with Liu Xiaobo, Liao Yiwu, Chen Guangcheng, ad infinitum. So, in the end, it wasn’t Ai Weiwei that did wrong. It was his defenders, and his defenders came from artists and advocates in pretty much every country on earth with an Internet connection. This means one thing in China: the West.

But Ai Weiwei didn’t just fall from grace. He was pushed.

From that point forward, he was referred to as a dissident or a Western pawn, never again as an “award-winning Chinese artist.” His name became “sensitive,” support of him became harmonized and he was relegated to the scapegoat cabinet of Chinese media. These efforts were, and continue to be, spearheaded by the nationalistic shame that is Global Times. People’s Daily largely stays out of it, but when they do wade into those waters, they reprint from GT. Xinhua does the same. Due to Ai’s general charisma and the fact that he hasn’t really done anything wrong, the Chinese media (and GT in particular) had but one stick left to beat him with: “the West.” And, man, have they worn out that stick.

Here is a smattering of what happened when the worm turned:

“Ai Weiweis will be washed away by history,” November 16, 2011, by Shan Renping:

Artist Ai Weiwei told foreign media recently that some 30,000 people lent him in total 8.8 million yuan ($1.4 million) to pay the tax bill and fine… Is 30,000 a big number, compared to China’s population of 1.3 billion? Even weibo has more than 100 million users. [...]

Ai is a symbol of those dissidents that win full support from the West. Chinese people who have interest in politics all know him. But for those who don’t know him or cannot remember him, are not interested in his game of political confrontation.

The West has supported many dissidents in China. The Western media once regarded Wei Jingsheng, imprisoned in 1978 for 15 years, as “the father of Chinese democracy.” That “father” is now in some little corner of the US and journalists don’t even bother to report on him. [...]

We must say that without the support of the West, Ai is literally nothing. [...]

Their prospects are closely connected with China’s misfortune… Then let’s hope their luck is not so good. Their appearance could serve to keep a prosperous China vigilant.

“West’s support of Ai Weiwei abnormal,” April 16, 2011 (a year after Ai is initially arrested), by an unnamed editor:

Since early April, the arrest of Chinese artist Ai Weiwei has been used by some Western media as a stick with which to bash China’s human rights situation.

As a Chinese citizen, Ai undoubtedly enjoys favorable treatment from the West, which constitutes an intrusion of China’s legal system. The Western bias toward Ai results from his confrontational attitude to the government. [...]

The belief that there is political persecution in China is a fallacy.  Instead, the country is witnessing the unfolding of democracy. At the same time, that does not mean the people mentioned above can do whatever they want in the name of democracy, nor does the West have the right to set up a roadmap and timetable for China.

It is abnormal to hype up Ai’s case – the West seeks to refute China’s basic political system by paralyzing its legal system. The West will undoubtedly oppose any future verdict on Ai Weiwei, as it aims to put down Chinese values.

“Take note of grass-roots opposition to dissidents,” June 18, 2012, by Yu Jincui:

Ai Weiwei and the Dalai group have both been rejected by the mainstream of Chinese society but are portrayed in a noble light by the West. They have been granted high status by a few Western politicians and political forces. This high recognition abroad, however, is not acknowledged among the majority of Chinese. [...]

At the most, people are often puzzled as to why activists and separatists are given so much attention by the West. The Chinese public values more rational approaches to moving this huge country forward. But this simple feeling is often ignored by the West, thus putting itself at odds with Chinese mainstream society.

There are many more, including this week’s “Elton John’s outburst met with indifference” by the “man” himself, Hu Xijin. (Note: Five unsolicited responses have come forward to tell me that Elton’s “outburst” was met with a reaction, and that it was positive.)

Obviously, John’s [yes, he calls him John] unexpected action was disrespectful to the audience and the contract that he signed with the Chinese side. He forcibly added political content to the concert, which should have been nothing more than an entertaining performance. If they had known that this concert would be dedicated to Ai Weiwei, many in the audience would not have come to see this concert. [...]

Western society is seriously biased against China. When US magazine Foreign Policy compiled a list of 100 global thinkers from around the world, the first Chinese on that list was blind activist Chen Guangcheng, and the second was Ai Weiwei. Even to Chinese people who have sympathy for these two people, this list may seem ridiculous. [...]

The selection of Chen and Ai makes people wonder whether the word “thinker” in Chinese and English have different meanings. We can just say that some Westerners are increasingly unable to contain themselves over China’s rise. They cannot control China through normal means and they are more likely to rush their fences.

A LITTLE BIT OF REVENGE

It’s important to mention that Ai didn’t take all this lying down. In November 2011, he fought back by releasing the personal phone number of Hu Xijin, the editor-in-chief of the Global Times who pens GT’s editorials and is, as it happens, one of the worst living “human beings.” I have no particular love for Ai Weiwei — art is, let’s be honest, a bit poncey — but everyone is a huge fan of screwing with bullies and getting away with it.

Hu Xijin, a consummate professional, took the fight to his state-funded Communist Party propaganda rag for fair and balanced coverage. We have confirmation that he penned this himself:

So, the man who was detained, extra-judicially, for 81 days (along with his completely innocent staff) caused the propaganda monsters to “suffer” from prank phone calls.

Other gems in this piece include:

The staff of Global Times have no personal grudge against Ai. Global Times has published several commentaries concerning Ai’s case since April but has made no personal attacks against him.

He must have missed the “Ai is literally nothing” bit.

Besides, these comments were conducted against the background of Western media and foreign governments meddling in Ai’s case. Global Times’ response is normal work for a newspaper.

It isn’t. It’s the “normal work” of a childish bully with the full financial and political backing of a brutal autocracy. Also, please refrain from calling the Global Times a newspaper. It tends to make people retch.

Take Ai Weiwei, he should be cautious about his behavior, by invading the privacy of his criticizers because of criticism against him, he negated the expectations of those around him.

My grammar check in MSword brings up three green lines in that sentence. So, assuming it can be made grammatically correct, it’s incorrect. Those around Ai seemed to be in full support; some even went to prison for him, all while GT spewed editorials from its ears about how he is a pawn of the “West.”

The Chinese government should take measures to regulate the online order and curb the increasingly rampant violations on personal rights, including invasion of privacy and death threats. The relevant authorities should take actions to crack down on these illegal acts while safeguarding the freedom of speech.

Ai Weiwei did his thing on Twitter, so… wish granted. You can’t crack down on things you’ve already banned.

THE LESSON

That is what happens when propaganda turns on you, and it is not an isolated case. Similar things have happened with politicians like Bo Xilai, nations like Myanmar and even websites like Google. The moment something stops being convenient, the dogs are released and the floor is covered in blood.

In the end, the lesson here is that China has invented enemies, and you can become one in a second if you overplay your hand while in the public eye. It just takes one spotty editor in one rolly-chair to decide that you are detrimental to “society.” From then on, you are an assumed dissident and a plank for China to beat its imaginary enemies just because they may or may not have tried to stand up for you.

That is, unless, you wade through it all, wade through the hate-filled commentaries, the government bullying, the arrests of the people you love and respect, the alienation, the jail time and official condemnations of your talents; then maybe, just maybe, you get to be a rock star whose Gangnam Style video garners worldwide attention.

Worth it.

|To Serve People Archives|

By TAR Nation

The Party Congress is, mercifully, over. For those of us here in Beijing, it feels good, like a massive cold-water colon cleanse. Now with the brown-nosers out of the city, we can reflect.

Now that it’s over, I mourn the loss of the banners.

The propaganda rags had a few different roles to play during the Congress. 1) Don’t report bad news. 2) Make sure everyone loves the Congress. 3) Love our dear leaders. 4) Publish editorial rimjobs about the Party Congress. 5) Convince people that change will happen gradually, after they die. 6) Hate the US and their pussy-ass elections. 7) Bang on about the Party Congress, no matter how boring and un-news-like, until you kill yourself, go on, do it, just kill yourself. Do it. You pansy. Go on. You don’t have the balls, do you? Do it. DO IT!

In this mess, every newspaper, under severe stress to prove that they love the Communist Party more than the other guy, fitted their websites with giant banners to make sure that there is no doubt: The Party has them by the short and curlies.

Every organization tried to have the biggest, reddest, communist-est banner ever. Web designers from People’s Daily to China Daily woke up from their painful slumber ‘neath the Midgard serpent and designed page banners that would get them appointed to the head of the Red Guard.

The rules are thus: They’ve got to be big, they’ve got to be red and they’ve got to show a lack of creativity hitherto unimagined.

Award for the Reddest goes to:

People’s Daily!

People’s Daily went a bit off the rails on the whole “red” thing. They even turned their text red on the home page of their website (as did CCTV).

I swear I didn’t Photoshop that. It actually, actually has a headline that says: “Delegate in Wheelchair.” At least it’s not “Delegate who just wouldn’t listen.”

The first thing people learn about People’s Daily is that it’s, much like Playboy, not read for the articles. It’s the editorials. They are viewed as the express opinions of the government itself. If the government likes garlic on Tuesday, China likes garlic, and if you don’t, you’re a turncoat vampire Japanese traitor.

This is to be expected. Of all the newspapers with a government hand up their fundament, People’s Daily has fingers out its eyeballs. The Ministry of Finance has the main stake, and People’s Daily Online will be paying taxes for the first time in 2013.

Of course, the content is full of scathing indictments of the current press-hating institution, like, “China’s path to democracy,” “Scientific Outlook on Development becomes CPC’s theoretical guidance,” “People’s Daily calls for winning new socialist victory at party” (from Xinhua) and “CPC develops democracy over last decade,” which, I’m sure, is a surprise to all of us. It’s not real democracy. It uses the term “Democracy with Chinese characteristics” without a hint of shame.

Next up, the award for the Biggest Banner goes to…

China Radio International!

Yeah, it’s that big. Golden workers and shafts of light bearing aloft the flying penis. CRI usually stays away from politics, in that they don’t discuss anything of substance. They discuss what netizens are talking about until they’re blue in the face. They abide by the Propaganda Department to the letter and intercut it with stories of traditional horse plucking in Zhejiang Province and other drek. Their stories involve a lot of “nowadays” and “in modern times,” like they’re explaining things to cavemen.

Their pandering takes form in “Socialist System, Path and Theories Incorporated into CPC Constitution,” “Lawyers Rights Guaranteed in China’s Judicial Reform” and — please read this one reposted from Xinhua — “Mom Communists Taking Babies to National Congress.”

They also have things like… well… this: incidents where I don’t know what to make fun of first.

Next up, Most Effeminate Banner Featuring the Hammer and Sickle:

Found on Shanghai Daily. Wisps of clouds and doves flying over Tiananmen. That’s what I think of when I think of the Hammer and Sickle. I definitely don’t think of how mechanization rather than a hammer-and-sickle commune during the Great Famine could have prevented the deaths of 43,000,000 people. Nope, for me, it’s all about the aviary. (Note, figure of 43 million deaths taken from Judith Bannister’s figures, which are based on info from China’s State Statistical Bureau as well as China’s State Family Planning Commission. Don’t be a dick about it.)

Hopefully, the fact that pigeons were banned for the coronation was not lost on all.

Shanghai Daily does good work now and again and keeps the crazy to a minimum. But, this column is about making fun of the Chinese media, so here goes: They’re… racist pedophiles…  probably.

Now we’re onto: Blandest Banner. The winner is…

Xinhua!

That’s plastered on their homepage, but if you’re curious about suicide and click on their “Special Report” (note: it’s NOT special), you get this banner:

Why is the bland banner on the home page and the flamboyant banner on a link no one will touch? Only Xinhua knows.

Next: Banner with Most Sparkling Disney Magic:

The Global Times.

Readers may be surprised to learn that the ultra-nationalistic disgrace Global Times did not have a banner on their home page, mainly because it’s big and red all year round. But this more than makes up for it.

Their coverage consists mainly of how legitimately legitimate and normal the legitimacy is of the legitimate Chinese Communist Legitimate Party. Usually, I would end with observations about the Global Times editorials, but, concerning the Party, they are so full of flattery, bullshit and hating the West, I can’t wade through it. Do it yourself, here.

As much as I really, really hate the Global Times and their evil psycho-king Hu Xijin, there are a lot of people working there. Some of them are good. In fact, the greatest reporter I’ve ever met worked there, before he was fired. So, keep a light on in the window for people there who get pictures like this into the “special coverage.”

The party congress is over, and thank Christ for that. Anyone who wanted democracy or freedom of the press has stopped jabbering on about it because, for that to happen, they would probably need to have another one of those fucking meetings. So, screw it.

As a final remembrance, I have come up with a banner for the Beijing Cream, featuring how dissidents were sent on vacation, security buckled down, Internet shut down, pigeons and ping pong balls banned and the crushing, crushing boredom of it all.

TAR Nation writes the BJC column To Serve People. He’s usually around on Mondays.