The General Administration of Press and Publication, or GAPP, and State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, or SARFT, are China’s two principal ministries of propaganda, tasked with tweaking, managing, and bowlderizing creative, edgy, realistic, and otherwise inspiring work into a mushy, digestible pap for mainstream consumption. It’s an unpleasant job, but someone has to do it.
But on Sunday, the government announced plans to combine various ministries and departments, so it appears GAPP and SARFT will soon be no more — at least as independent entities. As Offbeat China notes, “The newly-merged organization will be called the ‘State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television (国家新闻出版广播电影电视总局),’” a name that’s so unappeasing that netizens have howled for an alternative.
Wu Shulin, deputy director of the General Administration of Press, and Zhang Peimin, deputy director of SARFT both agreed that the name needed revision. They are looking for a new name that is scientific, smart and international. So Chinese netizens weighed in.
Ah, but wait. We have some suggestions, too. From our staff:
Censors United: No Taiwan Separatism?
Censoring: Uighurs, Nudity, Tugjobs, Sluts
Communist Ultimatum: “No Talking Shit”
Yes, those are good. Nice, concise, evocative. How about a few more of these simple ones?
Family Acceptable Punctiliousness
Publications Under Bannered Excellence
Books and Informaton for a Truer Chinese History
Decorum, Innovation, Complicity, Kraken
Or is the strategy to go the other direction, with longer names, for such a crucial organization deserves a handle that is proportional to its importance, bearing heft, isn’t that correct? We suggest:
Freedom Under Censorship is Key to Family, Adolescents, Country, Ethics
Association Serving Socialist Harmony Overseen by Lying Eunuchs
Restricting International Media Justice with Overweening Bureaucracy
Government Organization For Ubiquitous Censoring of Key Youthful Organizations Under Reports Surprisingly Empty of Legal Framework
Or this one?
Media Organization Thinking How Erring Rightly Foregoes Unreasonable Censorship Keys Excellently Rational Society
If you have other suggestions, please leave them in the comment section.
The name that netizens chose, by the way? Offbeat China reports:
As suggested by numerous netizens… “Ministry of Truth (真理部)”.
POSTSCRIPT: SARFT is gone, but continue to fuck it, and fuck it good. (H/T TAR Nation)