Masked Men Try To Rob Shopping Mall After Hours, Are Pretty Dumb

Masked men try to rob shopping mall after hours featured image
This incident happened on May 8, but a video of it just appeared yesterday, so you're getting the story now. In a shopping mall in Chaoyang district, two masked men sought to steal some liquor and smokes. The fact that they were walking through an empty wall after opening hours attracted the attention of security guards, who confronted the two. For the next 10 minutes, a game of cat and mouse ensued in the six-story mall, as no security guard seemed able to execute a simple tackle.

Mid-Week Links: Chinese seduction of Western businessmen, Shenhua FC’s hot streak, and translation, like love, is a slow simmer

Kevin Durant in Xi'an
Kevin Durant with the Terracotta Warriors, posted on @KDTrey5, via @blackChinahand; more pics of his visit to Shanghai and Xi’an via Beyond the Buzzer. First Floor might have a good Monday food deal, but Tuesday’s all about half-price food night at Brussels. (Bear with me, people, I’m warming up for Restaurant Week.) Eat well over links.

In China, It Can Be Dangerous Writing Even About A Fucking Hurdler

Nanjing Oriental Guardian
In the history of censorship in Chinese media, surely we’ve seen more half-baked decisions and upsetting punishments. But surely, as well, we’ve never seen so many journalists punished for such small beer. Spare me your sermon about Liu Xiang as the face of the country’s athletics program and a national hero, etc.: I’m arguing against... Read more »

How Is This Dude Possibly Asleep?

Asleep at the desk
Gaming can be — nay, often is — tiring work. Luckily, the chairs inside Internet cafes are so ergonomic, one can practically sleep more or less on or against them. (H/T Alicia)

Man (Almost Certainly) Fakes Blindness To Feel Up Random Women

Pervert Chongqing feels up woman fakes blindness featured image
Here’s a perv with a plan. A man in Chongqing was recently filmed terrorizing the upper thighs of random women, only escaping censure or slaps to the face because people think he’s blind. A gentleman surnamed Lu, finding this “blind” guy’s behavior very strange, pulled out his cell phone and recorded 17 minutes of footage... Read more »

Watch What Happens When A Cement Truck’s Brakes Suddenly Fail At A Busy Intersection

Watch What Happens When A Cement Truck_s Brakes Suddenly Fail At A Busy Intersection featured image
This just had to happen during rush hour, didn't it? Recently in Shijian Town, Nan'an City, Fujian province, a cement truck's brakes failed just as it was approaching a red light. It plowed through eight vehicles -- three sedans, four motorbikes, and one wagon carrying seven people -- before coming to a stop. Very fortunately, everyone involved only sustained minor injures.

Superpowers Class Is A Fraud, Parents Shocked To Learn

Professor X
Shanghai Daily has scooped China Daily Show, as reality again proves its shit is inimitable. A “special-ability” class is under police investigation as angry parents who paid more than 100,000 yuan (US$15,720) in tuition found their children were taught not to read without their eyes but how to cheat. Whatever the Shanghai school’s pitch was,... Read more »