Occasionally in showbusiness or sports, the odds against a performer's success are so stacked that the audience chooses, out of the goodness of human compassion, to root against probability. It's why we pull for Celtic FC when they face Barcelona, or Susan Boyle. I hadn't planned to cheer for the pageant contestants of Miss World China on Sunday at Galaxy SOHO -- hadn't not planned to cheer, as planning these things one way or another would be odd -- but a realization dawned upon me sometime between the rain and the fake applause piped in through the sound system: these girls are all underdogs in their own spotlight. They deserve better.
If you're into beauty pageants -- and I say this knowing no one is, really -- there's a big one happening tonight, the finals of Miss World China, at Galaxy SOHO. Our friends at That's Beijing are running a very easy contest to get you in the event -- that includes a special invite-only afterparty that commences at 10 pm -- so if you want to rub elbows with the peachy, the yutzy, the beautiful though probably boxy, the sclerotic and robotic -- p-fucking-s, FREE DRINKS -- answer this question in an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with "Miss World" in the subject line:
"Get to know the contestants of 2012 MISS UNIVERSE® Pageant," reads this YouTube description.
Do we have to? More information about Miss China: Xu Jidan is 22, a model from Jilin province, 1.8 meters tall, and a graduate of Shanghai Donghua University. Apparently she dances flemenco. For winning Miss China, she won a ridiculous 3.68 million yuan diamond tiara -- not ridiculous because she didn't deserve it, or the results were manipulated, or she isn't worth it... but because 3.68 million yuan.
Look, we’ll be the first to admit that there’s a lot about the China-USA Super Model Contest that we don’t know. Maybe it’s a pageant to promote Sino-American cooperation. Maybe it’s a worthwhile soft power push in which the ultimate winners are Americans doing business in China, and vice versa. Maybe it’s a contest to... Read more »
Something called the Mr. Hong Kong Nepal 2012 Bodybuilding Championship -- which somehow has been going on for 10 years -- happened recently, and was won by Bishwa Bahadur Thapa Magar (though we've also seen his name spelled "Bishow Thapa Magar"). We think this contest is for Nepalese men based in Hong Kong. We think.
None of this is really the point, though.
About 200 men participated in the first round of auditions on Saturday for the ATV 2012 Mr. Asia contest, the finals of which will be held on November 18. Before we proceed, you should know that the five contestants pictured above are named Wong Chak Fung, Lee Si Tung, Wat Ho Ming, Wong Ching Chung, and... Read more »
We’re going to let People’s Daily do the heavy lifting on this one. Take it away, boys (assume [sic]‘s): On that day, the final of the 23rd Super Model of The World .Guangxi .China was held in Nanning, south China’s Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region. A total of 20 contestants competed in several awards including The Best Camera-Shy,... Read more »
We’ve seen beauty pageants for cows, so it would naturally follow that there would be a pageant for goldfish. In Fuzhou, Fujian province on Saturday, 3,000 fish from 14 different countries competed in the International Goldfish Championship. They were judged according to breed, body shape, swimming gesture, color, and overall impression, judge Ye Qichang told ITN... Read more »
Somewhere down the line, I’m not sure when or where, beauty pageants stopped being about who was the most physically attractive and instead, in theory, about who was the most all-around beautiful, taking into account personality, skills, and one’s sincerity in wishing for world peace. A beauty contest in Hubei has recently declared: Screw that... Read more »
Saturday saw another beauty pageant in China, the final of Miss Universe China in Shanghai. According to the official website — “celebrating Chinese women!” — 21 contestants vied for the prize of 3.28 million yuan and the chance to represent China in the Miss Universe contest in December. Xu Jidan from Jilin — looking slightly... Read more »
Update, 8/27, 12:13 pm: Found some raw footage of the pageant, embedded after the jump. Yu Wenxia may have won the Miss World crown on Saturday, but could she hold a pail to any of these cows? I’ll let Want China Times explain this one: “The first ever beauty pageant for cows is being held... Read more »
If you’re wondering why the new Miss World’s smile looks so robotic, you might find the answer in this Forbes article about cosmetics mogul Yue-sai Kan, who is the national director for Miss Universe China. Granting that Miss World and Miss Universe are different, it’s still telling that Kan operates a “boot camp” that winnows out... Read more »
I’ve made you wait long enough. After the jump you’ll find the promo video for the 37th Miss Bikini International 2012 along with more pictures. Who cares if there’s a chance they’re all Russian? The Miss Bikini International Pageant seems to have an official-looking website (MissBikini.cc), but it’s hard to navigate, probably because it was designed for... Read more »