Watch This Glorious Fight On The Shanghai Subway

Shanghai subway fight
Youku user chenkai0104 uploaded this video of two men in a flat-out melee on Line 2 of the Shanghai Metro on Tuesday. These chaps show some real form! Check out the passengers laughing from the sideline, delighted to have front-row tickets for this bout. The two men pause for a rest at the 34-second mark as a referee steps in. And then, for all our benefit, the sparring resumes.

Fists Fly At Stone Forest In Kunming

Stone Forest Park fight in Kunming
At the start of this video, the man behind the camera says, "Just like Chinese people, to fight over pictures." But just over pictures? Or is this an expression of a deeper discontent, a deformity of neither behavior nor genetics but something more fundamental and universal?

Local Party Secretary Accused Of Sending In The Goons

Construction site fight in Hubei
According to the Youku description, the party secretary of a Hubei town recently siced hired thugs from his hometown onto a construction site in Shiyan due to a contractual dispute. The brawl recorded here happened on September 27 around 9 am.

Long-Haired Chinese Gal Issues Sidewalk Beatdown

Chinese girl issues sidewalk beatdown
What always unsettles me about these beatdowns is the moment the person with the upper hand sticks out a finger as if it's the long appendage of Death and holds it above the face of the fallen. How humiliating. How unbefitting a street champion. As if the slaps didn't already acutely communicate all that was necessary.

Chengguan Are Now Brawling With Soldiers (Maybe)

Chengguan brawl with PLA soldiers
According to the video description, as brought to us by chinaSMACK, urban management officers in Qingdao, Shandong province attempted to demolish the guard room of a "military compound" on the afternoon of September 4. They were met with resistance, as guards and -- reportedly, though this is disputed -- actual soldiers came out looking for -- and getting; this part is not disputed -- a fight.

Wild Punches And Loopy Haymakers Outside Sina Office Building

Sina office fight
There's no info on this video except that this happened outside a Sina office and the combatants are chauffeurs, but it's a fight and we like it. There are some real sloppy overhead rights thrown by the man in the darker shirt though. What is he even thinking?

Punches And Blood On The Guangzhou Metro

Guangzhou subway fight
If you're not ready for a fight, don't start one. Don't, for instance, punch the guy sitting next to you on the subway, who happens to be younger, fitter, and more inspired, since he has a girl. The older man in this video, after sucker-punching the younger dude, eats about two dozen fists of rage. All the while, someone behind the camera implores, "Stop fighting, stop fighting."

Fight Breaks Out On Shanghai Subway Over Seat

Shanghai subway fight
Shanghai subway, Line 8. These women's Shanghainese accents are much too thick for me to understand, but the younger lady, who appears to be the daughter of the woman in red, seems to accuse the woman in black of trying to squeeze into her mom's seat. A loud argument ensues, during which the woman in black shakes a wallet.

A Nice Little Beijing Subway Scuffle

Beijing subway fight
There are a lot of things we like about this 35-second video. There's the automated voice -- which we've heard so many times that it now exists in the realm of our subconscious -- telling us that the train is nearing Dongdan on Line 1. There's the shouting: Waarrrrgh! Aaarrrrrgh! There are the passengers nearby, especially the man in the white shirt. There's the voice of the woman off-camera who, as if beseeching children, says, "Stop fighting. Just stop." And is that man on top trying to stuff the other guy into a box? Pure joy all around.