The Funniest Moment From Last Night’s CBA Championship Award Ceremony

Weeeee
Award ceremony video; Youku video for those in China after the jump. No, it wasn’t the fans booing lustily at the roll call of Guangdong players (who didn’t take the court), eventually transitioning into responding “stupid cunt” to every call. The funniest moment was when the tallest player in the CBA (quite possibly the tallest... Read more »

In Beijing, The New Champion Of Chinese Basketball

Champions
They kept trying to jinx it, I swear to God they did. Before tonight's game, the club gave away t-shirts (white, per Stephon Marbury's suggestion) that read, "March 30, 2012: Beijing Ducks are champions." With 21.9 seconds left, Beijing up two and Guangdong set to inbound, the crowd chanted, "Championship! Championship!"

Breaking: Beijing Taxi Fuel Surcharge Increases To 3 Yuan, Effective Tomorrow

Beijing cab
Starting tomorrow, taxis will charge 3 yuan instead of 2 yuan for distances over 3 kilometers. According to CNR, this regulation was approved by the Beijing Municipal Government in accordance with the National Development and Reform Commission’s increase in the price of refined oil to 600 yuan per ton on March 20. Before your eyes glaze over... Read more »

Flemish Art Dealer Dies Under House Arrest In Beijing

Art dealer
Yesterday, the news website FlandersNews.be — part of Flemish public broadcaster VRT – reported that Kurt De Raedemaeker, 48, died of a heart attack on an unspecified day while under house arrest in Beijing. Kurt De Raedemaeker was originally sentenced to life imprisonment in Gansu province in 2006 after allegedly illegally exporting a sarcophagus three years earlier that... Read more »

Congratulations, Royston Chan. You’ve Just Written The Most Disgusting China Story Of The Year

Eggs - or THE URINE EGGS OF VIRGIN BOYS?
Oh, where do we begin? With the virgins or the urine? With the eggs or the soaking of said eggs in the urine of virgins? How does a story on Reuters -- written by Royston Chan (broaching poaching topics no one else will) -- that begins like this: It's the end of a school day in the eastern Chinese city of Dongyang, and eager parents collect their children after a hectic day of primary school. Get to here:

Traffic Light: Walking Head-On Into Traffic Is Not Advisable

Walking head on into traffic
Traffic Light (红绿灯) is a show on Beijing Television (BTV) that airs an ostensibly instructional segment called “Accidents That Should Never Happen.” Everything about it is ridiculous. The only way to make it more ridiculous is to watch it in slow motion, set to music. The song in this video is Zhong Chi - Easy World《钟茌》.

That Asshole Drake Goes Bowling, Cause He’s An Asshole

Drake Moreau
I’ve been trying to be good during the week, those days consecrated by work, The Man, so one Thursday night I decide to mix things up a bit and go bowling. Just south of the West Gate of Workers Stadium sits a KTV mansion with a huge alley one floor above. My friend Braxton and I walked in with a bag of beers and steely intensity. Now, I’m not one for bragging, but compared to the average Joe, I am a hulking monster on the lanes. I’m the Rudy of the wooden course, undersized and overlooked, but I will ruin your day if you’re the Georgia Tech quarterback and time’s running out in the fourth quarter of a blowout win. I’m a goddamn sniper when it comes to picking up spares. I average 160 to 170.