Starting tomorrow, taxis will charge 3 yuan instead of 2 yuan for distances over 3 kilometers. According to CNR, this regulation was approved by the Beijing Municipal Government in accordance with the National Development and Reform Commission’s increase in the price of refined oil to 600 yuan per ton on March 20. Before your eyes glaze over... Read more »
I’ve been trying to be good during the week, those days consecrated by work, The Man, so one Thursday night I decide to mix things up a bit and go bowling.
Just south of the West Gate of Workers Stadium sits a KTV mansion with a huge alley one floor above. My friend Braxton and I walked in with a bag of beers and steely intensity. Now, I’m not one for bragging, but compared to the average Joe, I am a hulking monster on the lanes. I’m the Rudy of the wooden course, undersized and overlooked, but I will ruin your day if you’re the Georgia Tech quarterback and time’s running out in the fourth quarter of a blowout win. I’m a goddamn sniper when it comes to picking up spares. I average 160 to 170.
When I came to, a Chinese girl was the only thing that stood between me and five Chinese guys. They had a certain glare in their eyes, I remember. Like Kujo. A rage that was nearing its apex, which, if reached, would spill over and spell the end of me. As I think back on that moment now, what comes to mind is an amazing song from the amazing movie Mulan: “You must be swift as the coursing rain (Be a Man!), with all the force of a great typhoon (Be a Man!), with all the strength of a raging fire (Be a Man!)…” I think that about sums up what was going through my head.
We all have our routines when we're drunk or tired. My friend Drew recently introduced me to the idea of visiting spas. It’s a terrible idea. It can’t be good for the body, especially one as horribly abused as mine, to endure further dehydration in a steam room after 10-plus-hours of drinking. But there we were one night, half-naked in a wooden room, flambéing as steam filled the metal box around us.
The Beijing Comedy Club has been trying to gather a lineup of comics and failing miserably. People are just generally not funny. Which is why it’s my job to appear at these showings and laugh – just not at their jokes. They are so fucking horrible and stupid that it’s funny they think they’re funny.
