Global Times chose June 4 to publish two editorials about how the Internet and media need to be brutally censored. One editorial is by Shan Renping -- the party’s stupidest editorial lapdog -- and the other is from the rat-infested oozing pile of vomit and bile shat through the vagina of a dead yet zombified tapeworm screaming at the top of its intestines, Hu Xijin.
Let’s start with Hu: “Web regulation in public's best interest”
On Tuesday night, the Global Times published an article damning Elton John for dedicating his performance to Ai Weiwei and encouraging Chinese people to boo future similar performers off the stage. On the same day, GT published “‘Top thinkers’ list a reflection of US values,” a scathing indictment of Foreign Policy’s list, which features, among others, Ai Weiwei.
The South China Sea is pretty boring to most people, normal people. But China’s reaction to politics in the region is priceless, a full-on charm/punching offensive in Southeast Asia.
The Association of Southeast Asian Nations held a summit last week, during which we learned China has territorial disputes with, well, just about every member with a coastline.
His name is Liu Yunshan, and here’s why you should care: this will be (has been) the guy blocking your Twitter and New York Times, slowing down your Internet speed, ramping up diplomatic bile, telling Hu Xijin what to write in his god-awful columns and basically making China a worse place for everyone. He has had experience, but now, he has a seat at the big table.
The phrase “China-bashing” has taken hold in the propaganda rags. Disgust, indignation and odium are liable to rain down like bukkake. This past week, government papers shot out editorial upon editorial on two occasions when US entities spoke about China. In one instance, it was presidential nominees; in the other, it involved arguably the greatest newspaper in the history of modern print journalism.
“Public accepts other views despite anger” is a piece from He Hu Should Not Be Named (or born for that matter) about some 2,200 tourists aboard the cruise ship Costa Victoria.
“Tourists?” I hear you say through my mind's ear-hole. Yes, tourists. They did something insidious, something unthinkable, something that will make your blood boil and your bones do the dougie. They went to…
Liao Yiwu won the 2012 Peace Prize of the German Book Trade, causing Global Times columnist Shan Renping to act like a baby, a baby in sore need of being bashed against a tree.
The media went balls-to-the wall, calling Liao insane for, perhaps overzealously, shouting at his acceptance speech, saying China was an “ever-expanding garbage dump” and “an inhumane empire with bloody hands” (note: true, but who hasn’t been to a bachelor party like that). At the end, he shouted “the empire must break apart” six times.
Hu “The Gelded Fuckwit” Xijin took a moment this week to remind everyone that no one should pay any attention whatsoever to the Nobel Prize, unless it is won by a Chinese person that has yet to get in trouble.
Having hated the West, Westerners, the Nobel Prize and human thought for his entire “journalistic” career, Hu “The Pitiless Twat” Xijin was surprised by the Nobel Committee’s choice.
Mad Libs is a "phrasal template word game," according to Wikipedia, and who better to provide the template for such comedy than our favorite mouthpieces of the CCP? Let's play.
