An International Magic Carnival Is Happening In Beijing This Weekend, And We Want To Know Who’ll Be There

China Beijing International Magic Carnival
The first China Beijing International Magic Carnival kicked off yesterday, which no one attended because it was in Changping District. Listen, event organizers: be a little less transparent with these “international” festivals, would you? The CBIMC (a non-official and heretofore nonexistent acronym) is nothing but a local soft-power push, the equivalent of a small-auto windshield makers trade fair in Jefferson City,... Read more »

That Awesome Nail House In The Middle Of The Highway Has Been Demolished [UPDATE]

Nail house demolished 2
Show’s over, folks. The “Most Awesome Nail House” in Wenlin, Zhejiang province — a three-story residence standing in the middle of a highway near a railway station — has been demolished after the owner, 67-year-old Luo Baogen, signed an agreement with property developers. “Well, I am willing to relocate,” Luo said. The terms of the relocation agreement haven’t... Read more »

A Beijing IKEA Construction Site Went Up In Flames Last Night

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Huge, rolling flames. Xinhua reports that the fire began just after 7 pm around Xihongmen subway station in Daxing District. The thick smoke rose more than 10 meters. Firefighters were able to control it relatively quickly. About 300 square meters of property were damaged, but there were no casualties. The cause of the incident is still under investigation.

“Inaugural China Masturbation Contest” Is A Real Thing, There Are No Winners

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Dudes wearing creepy, creepy masks pulled down their pants, held orange-red plastic pails over their privates, and masturbated while scantily-clad female models did sexually suggestive things, including with dildos and blow-up dolls. And it wasn’t for a porno — a terrible, terrible porno that no one would watch. Who wants to explain? “On the afternoon... Read more »

Friday Night Musical Outro: Pairs – A Surgeon At A Hospital In Shanghai Severed A Nerve In My Groin

Pairs – A Surgeon At A Hospital In Shanghai Severed A Nerve In My Groin featured image
Michael Pettis's club XP will welcome Shanghai's Pairs tomorrow night, described by our music contributor as a "rad... nowave / shitrock duo." If you know what that means, you'll enjoy the show. They're joined by Gum Bleed, 16mins and Baby Formula. The song is the first single from Pairs's double vinyl album If This Cockroach Doesn't Die, I Will, which we're told is about people in the Shanghai music industry, and "really funny -- if you know who he's singing about." Music video by Dani Grant.

Unicorn Lair Reconfirmed, Says North Korea State Media

Unicorn lair in the DPRK
Ha ha! Western media, you got GOT. Unicorns! Ha ha, you totally fell for the Korean Central News Agency’s satire. Yeah, you did. You totally did. Look: Pyongyang, November 29 (KCNA) — Archaeologists of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have recently reconfirmed a lair of the unicorn rode by King... Read more »