Unicorn Lair Reconfirmed, Says North Korea State Media

Ha ha! Western media, you got GOT. Unicorns! Ha ha, you totally fell for the Korean Central News Agency’s satire. Yeah, you did. You totally did. Look:

Pyongyang, November 29 (KCNA) — Archaeologists of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have recently reconfirmed a lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong, founder of the Koguryo Kingdom (B.C. 277-A.D. 668).

UNICORNS. I mean, you actually thought the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea’s central news agency would believe in such a thing? I mean…

The lair is located 200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Moran Hill in Pyongyang City. A rectangular rock carved with words “Unicorn Lair” stands in front of the lair. The carved words are believed to date back to the period of Koryo Kingdom (918-1392).

And you thought People’s Daily looked bad recently. You got fooled by a FABLE. It’s not like it’s HISTORY or anything…

Jo Hui Sung, director of the Institute, told KCNA:

“Korea’s history books deal with the unicorn, considered to be ridden by King Tongmyong, and its lair.

Yeah, okay, but those “history” books aren’t actually hist…

The Sogyong (Pyongyang) chapter of the old book ‘Koryo History’ (geographical book), said: Ulmil Pavilion is on the top of Mt. Kumsu, with Yongmyong Temple, one of Pyongyang’s eight scenic spots, beneath it. The temple served as a relief palace for King Tongmyong, in which there is the lair of his unicorn.

Uhm.

The old book ‘Sinjungdonggukyojisungnam’ (Revised Handbook of Korean Geography) complied in the 16th century wrote that there is a lair west of Pubyok Pavilion in Mt. Kumsu.

Right, okay. OK. I know how this looks. But it’s not like the unicorn lair means anything. This is just an odd news story. A quick hit. Man bites dog, only there’s a unicorn involved. A pint-sized humor piece to break up a humdrum afternoon, not used to legitimize the state or anything, or prove…

The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom.”

JESUS.

(H/T Chico Harlan via Tania Branigan)

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