Pictures And Videos From The 11th Annual Shanghai Sexpo

Shanghai Sexpo 1
The 11th Adult Care Expo, i.e. Shanghai Sexpo, ended on Sunday, and if you weren't there for any of the three-day extravaganza of awkward gazing/touching/posing and shameless mobile recording inside the Shanghai International Exhibition Center, we'll fill you in: there were a lot of sex toys and aphrodisiacs, a lot of phalluses, a few AV stars but way more scantily clad girls -- sometimes dancing, sometimes doing something... we don't know -- and a lot of QPR codes, often on skin, because sexpos have gone digital, baby.

Fun With Baidu Autofill: “Eating Sperm Can Lead To What?”

Eating sperm Baidu result page featured image
Ran E. of the the Chinese food appreciation blog FOODragon witnessed something interesting recently when he typed the Chinese character "eat" into Baidu: the autofill / auto-complete function -- which incidentally also likes to reinforce the stereotype that Americans love sluts -- suggested this as the top hit: "吃了精子会怎么样" - Eating sperm can lead to what?

Read: “The Biwalkers” And Other Stories From 4th Annual That’s Shanghai Erotic Fiction Competition

That's Shanghai erotic fiction
The bawdy and good folk of That's Shanghai have published the three winning entries from its erotic fiction competition held earlier this month at Glamour Bar as part of the Capital M Literary Festival. (You might remember Jacob Dreyer's review of the event for this site, which was heavy on Bai Ling.) As That's editor Ned Kelly so delicately summarizes:

Pandas, Vibrators, And Bai Ling: The 4th Annual That’s Shanghai Erotic Fiction Competition

That's Shanghai Erotic Fiction contest
It’s not just every night that I walk into Glamour Bar and hear someone talking about figs mixing with the juices from their crotch. Well, all right, pretty much any time that I went I could hear that, but it’s too expensive for my nightly apertif. Still, an old friend was in town and wanted to meet there, and after all, it was only five minutes from my office, so I found myself at 3 on the Bund listening to all of the erotic fictions that Shanghai -- and even one from Beijing -- has to offer.

Wuhan Students Demonstrate For Dignified Treatment Of China’s Sex Workers

Students in Wuhan protest Dongguan sex workers exposure
Four female students from Wuhan University in Hubei province demonstrated on February 14 to call for respect for sex workers in China. One student held up a pair of underpants as a metaphor for the Big Underpants building in Beijing, i.e. the headquarters of China Central Television (CCTV), which has been pejoratively called "CCAV" (AV being adult video) by Chinese netizens.

You Can Own A Replica Of The Vagina Belonging To Zhang Xiaoyu, “China’s Top Nude Model”

Replica vagina of Zhang Xiaoyu, "China's top nude model"
Zhang Xiaoyu, who has been described as "China's first nude model" and is the self-proclaimed “China’s top nude model,” is apparently also a savvy businesswoman with a firm understanding of the importance of branding. We didn't know this until Danwei reported it just now, but apparently on May 15, she "announced to her 450,000 Weibo followers the launch of her branded simulation sex toy."

Handjobs Don’t Count As Prostitution: Foshan Court

Happy Ending
Proving that chengguan need sex more than anyone, women who give "happy endings" will not be prosecuted or publicly shamed in Foshan, Guangdong province. Or something like that. Reports SCMP: Most massage parlours operate “justifiably” and the act itself is difficult to crack down on, the Southern Metropolis Daily newspaper has found, along with a legal loophole which is as ambiguous as the sex trade itself.

Durex Learns You’re Not Allowed To Photoshop A Condom Into Xi Jinping’s Breast Pocket

Xi Jinping Durex ad
Those wonderful viral marketers at Durex -- who were responsible for this ad that implied Barack Obama has a bigger penis than Mitt Romney -- sprinkled some photoshop magic to one particular photo of Xi Jinping and Peng Liyuan that's been making the rounds. In the original -- somewhat lampooned because China's First Lady is using an iPhone -- Xi Jinping definitely does not have a condom in his breast pocket.

Exigencies Of The Heart: A 90-Day Program That Teaches Chinese Women To Find American Husbands

Marriage
It’s not shameful to seek a companion to calm the exigencies of the heart, which swell like waves and retreat as quickly to beach sorrow on the shores of our body. But this woman — Liang Yali — is a swindler and sham. We think. Because what kind of slick snake salesperson would take advantage of another person’s loneliness to charge these prices — as reported by SCMP — for something called the Seek-a-Husband Training Programme?

Senior Chinese Pornography Censor Watches A Lot Of Porn, Hates It

Senior porn official, 70, hates his censorship job
We talk about censors as if they weren't real, but SCMP serves us this useful reminder that the people deleting your videos, expurgating articles, handcuffing artists, destroying the TV and entertainment industry, and -- the of course of "of courses" -- blocking porn, are made of flesh and blood, with intellectual capacities, however stunted, and human desires. Well, some used to have human desires, before they were forced to watch porn all day. Desensitized, sex is but gymnastics with bad theatrics, something to pass the time, like a run on the treadmill.

Are You Skilled At Masturbating Or Writing Paeans To That Art? Submissions Wanted

Pei Yuxin Guangzhou sex-ed
A professor at Guangzhou’s Sun Yat-sen University is soliciting tapes, poems, plays, and songs about masturbation as part of a research project-cum-contest called “New Media Contest on Masturbation.” As SCMP reports, “The rules are simple: submit your masturbation videos, poems, plays, or songs,” and the winner gets 10,000 yuan, with hefty cash prizes for second,... Read more »

Pandas Having Sex! [NSFW, If You Have Panda Coworkers]

Panda sex closeup
I don’t want to steal pageviews from Sina English, which has just published probably its funniest set of captions ever, so go over there and check out “Zoo plays AV to help pandas mate.” They run a total of three pictures, the captions to each are as follows:

Why Yes, In China, There Is A Corporate Training Industry To Teach Working Girls How To Snare You Using Social Apps

Social Apps to lure clients featured image
Those who use Momo and, to a lesser extent (but not much lesser), WeChat probably already know this, but social Apps are great for finding new and -- how shall we say -- temporary friends. However, if you are cruising around in the great murky sea trawling for bottles or booty, you open yourself up to getting hooked, too. Really open yourself up, actually, because you're going up against professionals.