Last November, Bernd Chang wrote about a group of students who created a multifunctional G-string+condom featuring Chinese herbs (cumen, naturally?). We're now here to give you this stone-faced update: that contraption has attracted more than USD $300,000 in investment from Guangdong Yuezheng Investment Management Limited.
Data from Spreadsheets, a mobile app that tracks sex stats such as number of thrusts, average duration and volume level (gamifying performance in bed, if you will), has revealed that while Americans unsurprisingly have the most sex, Australian men last the longest, coming at 4 minutes, 3 seconds. What about China, you ask?
On a crisp September 1st morning in Beijing, I stood before a locked iron door. On the other side was a hutong that led to the streets and eventually my university dorm. On my side was a scruffy courtyard home, a room with no couch and only one big bed – on which slept my Chinese boyfriend. It was dawn, and the hutong roofs were limned by a light morning mist, releasing the heat of the night into a new day. Inside, I was trapped, faced with an undesirable decision: to take a hammer to the door, or to return to the bed and have sex with a person I no longer respected.
The 11th Adult Care Expo, i.e. Shanghai Sexpo, ended on Sunday, and if you weren't there for any of the three-day extravaganza of awkward gazing/touching/posing and shameless mobile recording inside the Shanghai International Exhibition Center, we'll fill you in: there were a lot of sex toys and aphrodisiacs, a lot of phalluses, a few AV stars but way more scantily clad girls -- sometimes dancing, sometimes doing something... we don't know -- and a lot of QPR codes, often on skin, because sexpos have gone digital, baby.
Ran E. of the the Chinese food appreciation blog FOODragon witnessed something interesting recently when he typed the Chinese character "eat" into Baidu: the autofill / auto-complete function -- which incidentally also likes to reinforce the stereotype that Americans love sluts -- suggested this as the top hit: "吃了精子会怎么样" - Eating sperm can lead to what?
The bawdy and good folk of That's Shanghai have published the three winning entries from its erotic fiction competition held earlier this month at Glamour Bar as part of the Capital M Literary Festival. (You might remember Jacob Dreyer's review of the event for this site, which was heavy on Bai Ling.) As That's editor Ned Kelly so delicately summarizes:
It’s not just every night that I walk into Glamour Bar and hear someone talking about figs mixing with the juices from their crotch. Well, all right, pretty much any time that I went I could hear that, but it’s too expensive for my nightly apertif. Still, an old friend was in town and wanted to meet there, and after all, it was only five minutes from my office, so I found myself at 3 on the Bund listening to all of the erotic fictions that Shanghai -- and even one from Beijing -- has to offer.
Four female students from Wuhan University in Hubei province demonstrated on February 14 to call for respect for sex workers in China.
One student held up a pair of underpants as a metaphor for the Big Underpants building in Beijing, i.e. the headquarters of China Central Television (CCTV), which has been pejoratively called "CCAV" (AV being adult video) by Chinese netizens.
Sex, G-string, condom are all embarrassing words for most Chinese, but for 20-year-old university student Kong Yan from the Guangzhou-based South Medical University, those are the things she talks about every day, Yangcheng Evening News reported.
A foreign couple's backseat passion in Shanghai on Sunday morning gave passengers of nearby cars a bit of a peep show they were not looking for, but obviously did not mind. Check out this collection of pictures from @frida1986 (an account that no longer exists). The woman reportedly sat on the man's lap and "moved her body up and down."
Zhang Xiaoyu, who has been described as "China's first nude model" and is the self-proclaimed “China’s top nude model,” is apparently also a savvy businesswoman with a firm understanding of the importance of branding. We didn't know this until Danwei reported it just now, but apparently on May 15, she "announced to her 450,000 Weibo followers the launch of her branded simulation sex toy."
Proving that chengguan need sex more than anyone, women who give "happy endings" will not be prosecuted or publicly shamed in Foshan, Guangdong province. Or something like that. Reports SCMP:
Most massage parlours operate “justifiably” and the act itself is difficult to crack down on, the Southern Metropolis Daily newspaper has found, along with a legal loophole which is as ambiguous as the sex trade itself.
Those wonderful viral marketers at Durex -- who were responsible for this ad that implied Barack Obama has a bigger penis than Mitt Romney -- sprinkled some photoshop magic to one particular photo of Xi Jinping and Peng Liyuan that's been making the rounds.
In the original -- somewhat lampooned because China's First Lady is using an iPhone -- Xi Jinping definitely does not have a condom in his breast pocket.
There are two kinds of masturbators: those who lie about doing it, and those who don't. Check out which is which in the above video, brought to us by Ministry of Tofu.
A little spoiler alert: more women admit to it than men. Hmm.
It’s not shameful to seek a companion to calm the exigencies of the heart, which swell like waves and retreat as quickly to beach sorrow on the shores of our body.
But this woman — Liang Yali — is a swindler and sham. We think. Because what kind of slick snake salesperson would take advantage of another person’s loneliness to charge these prices — as reported by SCMP — for something called the Seek-a-Husband Training Programme?
We talk about censors as if they weren't real, but SCMP serves us this useful reminder that the people deleting your videos, expurgating articles, handcuffing artists, destroying the TV and entertainment industry, and -- the of course of "of courses" -- blocking porn, are made of flesh and blood, with intellectual capacities, however stunted, and human desires.
Well, some used to have human desires, before they were forced to watch porn all day. Desensitized, sex is but gymnastics with bad theatrics, something to pass the time, like a run on the treadmill.
Check out this young couple on the Taipei subway: he reads a book while she, um, sleeps on his lap... with a jacket over her head... bobbing up and down.
Sneaky, naughty, and bookish. Kids these days.