Those wonderful viral marketers at Durex -- who were responsible for this ad that implied Barack Obama has a bigger penis than Mitt Romney -- sprinkled some photoshop magic to one particular photo of Xi Jinping and Peng Liyuan that's been making the rounds. In the original -- somewhat lampooned because China's First Lady is using an iPhone -- Xi Jinping definitely does not have a condom in his breast pocket ...

There are two kinds of masturbators: those who lie about doing it, and those who don't. Check out which is which in the above video, brought to us by Ministry of Tofu. A little spoiler alert: more women admit to it than men. Hmm. Context? ...

It’s not shameful to seek a companion to calm the exigencies of the heart, which swell like waves and retreat as quickly to beach sorrow on the shores of our body. But this woman — Liang Yali — is a swindler and sham. We think. Because what kind of slick snake salesperson would take advantage of another person’s loneliness to charge these prices — as reported by SCMP — for something called the Seek-a-Husban ...

We talk about censors as if they weren't real, but SCMP serves us this useful reminder that the people deleting your videos, expurgating articles, handcuffing artists, destroying the TV and entertainment industry, and -- the of course of "of courses" -- blocking porn, are made of flesh and blood, with intellectual capacities, however stunted, and human desires. Well, some used to have human desires, before ...

Check out this young couple on the Taipei subway: he reads a book while she, um, sleeps on his lap... with a jacket over her head... bobbing up and down. Yeah. Sneaky, naughty, and bookish. Kids these days. ...

A professor at Guangzhou's Sun Yat-sen University is soliciting tapes, poems, plays, and songs about masturbation as part of a research project-cum-contest called "New Media Contest on Masturbation." As SCMP reports, "The rules are simple: submit your masturbation videos, poems, plays, or songs," and the winner gets 10,000 yuan, with hefty cash prizes for second, third, and fourth place (5,000, 3,000 and 1, ...

I don't want to steal pageviews from Sina English, which has just published probably its funniest set of captions ever, so go over there and check out "Zoo plays AV to help pandas mate." They run a total of three pictures, the captions to each are as follows: ...

"The mighty women of Chengdu, 'raping' a man on the street," reads the opening to this Sina Weibo post. With all the usual disclaimers that this is hearsay, let us continue: ...

Those who use Momo and, to a lesser extent (but not much lesser), WeChat probably already know this, but social Apps are great for finding new and -- how shall we say -- temporary friends. However, if you are cruising around in the great murky sea trawling for bottles or booty, you open yourself up to getting hooked, too. Really open yourself up, actually, because you're going up against professionals. ...

Here's a political sex scandal out of Jiangxi province with an unexpected twist. Qu Wenyuan, a village-level party secretary in Nanchang, Jiangxi, was recently suspended after his girlfriend posted a naked photo of him on Sina Weibo. Shanxi Evening News reports that Hu Dandan (pseudonym) posted the picture possibly as payback for his "corruption and gambling," evidence for which she claims to have. Afterwar ...

Part of our series on the year that was in fun videos, fun rants, and fun posts. TOP SEX POSTS Porn Sites That Are Not Blocked In China May 25 Chinese News Team Reports On Rare Lingzhi Mushroom, Which Is Actually A Rubber Vagina June 19 [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tmSkqRUHO0] What Is A Chinese Orgy Actually Like? August 17 Pigs Depicted Having Sex Doggy-Style In Zhengzhou Public Square Are Said ...

The "law" may have finally caught up with Zhu Ruifeng, the whistleblower who released sex tapes that busted 11 officials, including district Party boss Lei Zhengfu of Chongqing. Last night, scary cops visited his home in Beijing, saying they were from the local police station. "Zhu suspected that they had actually come from Chongqing and that their true intent was to take him away and recover the five addit ...

Surely you're aware of the Google autofill / autocomplete meme? For instance, someone types the words "i accidentally" into a Google search bar as part of a longer phrase, but Google presumes you're too lazy to finish your five-word sentence, so it helpfully offers a pulldown list of possible searches such as "i accidentally the whole bottle" and "i accidentally slept with my mom," etc. It turns out Baidu h ...

With power, what does a man buy first? A mistress, of course, especially in this country, where it's been said that "a man without a mistress is useless." But in Shenzhen on Monday, someone held a little demonstration to push back against the practice of taking ernai (literally, "second wife"). Around Book City outside the Grand Theater Metro subway station at 4 pm, a "mistress" and "cowherd" were given a " ...

Another day, another man tries to cut off his own penis. Recently in Hong Kong, as Shanghaiist tells us via ON.cc (belonging to the Oriental Press Group), 29-year-old Mr. Luk from Hong Kong tried to castrate himself with pair of scissors. His subsequent scream woke his father, who immediately called the police and sent him to hospital. ...

Are you a panda in human form, unable to conceive not because of physical limitations but due to low libido? A hospital in Wuhan, Hubei province may provide the sexual spark your relationship needs to create that perfect love child. Please turn your attention to the "sex wards" of Songziniao hospital, opened on December 28. ...

Try this story on for size and see if you believe it. A woman lives with identical twin guys, Lin Weihao and Lin Weizhuang, one of whom is her boyfriend. In March 2010, after heavy drinking by everyone, she walks into the wrong man's bedroom, i.e. not her boyfriend's. She has sex with him, gets pregnant. ...

The police chief of Wusu, Xinjiang autonomous region has officially been fired for his role in a sex and hiring scandal, uncovered last week. We're not sure which part of his offense is worse, keeping twin mistresses or abusing his power by promoting them, but either way, Qi Fang is gone. And for the record -- it's only the sex that Qi denies. Reached on his cell phone by a Beijing News journalist, Qi was a ...

Qi Fang, police chief of Wusu, Xinjiang province, is the latest official to find himself embroiled in a sex scandal. He is accused of having an affair with two sisters from a cultural troupe, and using public funds to rent a luxury flat to meet them. The elder of the sisters was promoted to vice-captain of the special police force in June, following earlier promotions that -- we're sure -- have nothing to d ...

Let's get right to it. Shanghai Daily: A single mother bit off the penis of her 9-year-old son in a state of delirium on Sunday in Yibin, a city in southwestern Sichuan Province, local media reported. In my wildest fever dream, I will never again describe myself as being "in a state of delirium. The boy is not in critical condition after hospital treatment but he would suffer lifetime disability, the doctor ...