I leaned over my Japanese eel handroll bought by the 10-year-old Chinese girl’s mother who was decked in glistening gold chains and a sparkling chemise. Looking squarely at the girl on this, our very first appointment, I asked her, “What is bad art?” She matter-of-factly responded, “Art made by grown-ups.” As an interim project to... Read more »
Here’s how shitty China’s Ministry of Censorship is: instead of doing its one job — which is shitting over everything popular and good in the world, smearing puppies and daffodils with the excrement of its values, and shit — it outsources this one responsibility to private companies, and when said private companies fail to shit... Read more »
A few may notice a name change for this week’s column. That’s because everything I think about the Chinese media is wrong, and I simply bask in the freedom given to me by the glorious motherland.
Anyway, it has been a slim week for Chinese editorials, as they took a break from America bashing, CCP asslicking and Tomb-Sweeping Day banality. Still, we carry on the best we can.
[Editor’s note: what follows is the first in a series of diplomatic cables, purporting to be the dispatches of Sir Charles Dashwood, a British attaché in present-day Beijing, decrypted and translated by BJC senior editor RFH] Bang! I’d only been in the Imperial Capital a few days and already my musk had attracted the bullets... Read more »
By Jon Pastuszek It’s November 2010, and Stephon Marbury has locked himself inside a hotel room in Taiyuan, Shanxi province, sad, hurt and uncertain over his future in China. Eight months earlier, after basically being told he wasn’t welcome anymore in the NBA, he had come to play for the Shanxi Brave Dragons of the Chinese Basketball... Read more »
The Top 4 Bullshit Editorials This Week | March 24-31
4. Heritage threatened as tomb-sweeping goes online Global Times | March 29
Tomb Sweeping Day is a yadayada bollockybollock from the reign of emperor Bull Wangle during the Hu Cares Dynasty in the Flerteenth Century. Apparently, people are doing whatever it is that people do on Tomb Sweeping Day online nowadays -- which, from the cartoon in Global Times, we can assume is getting high and watching Karate Kid through Wolverine claws:
They kept trying to jinx it, I swear to God they did. Before tonight's game, the club gave away t-shirts (white, per Stephon Marbury's suggestion) that read, "March 30, 2012: Beijing Ducks are champions."
With 21.9 seconds left, Beijing up two and Guangdong set to inbound, the crowd chanted, "Championship! Championship!"
Via China’s Forbidden News (NTDTV.com) By RFH When Hu Yaobang, the reformist Party General Secretary whose death two year laters would spark the Tiananmen demonstrations, was purged for the second time in 1987, it was Bo Yibo who drew up the official charges. The only Politburo member who backed Hu was Xi Zhongshun, a member of the Standing... Read more »
Left: Su Wei; right: Liu Hongjiang (photoshopped, obviously; via Weibo) Sports fans can be vicious, especially when given anonymity and — this is very important — assent from authority to unleash their anger. I mention this latter part because it seems that Liu Hongjiang, head boss of the Guangdong Hongyuan Southern Tigers, has instigated a... Read more »
Youku video for those in China after the jump. [UPDATE, 3/23: Did Youku just censor my video? Embedded below is now the video on 56.com.][UPDATE 2: Well fuck, 56.com and Tudou have rejected my video as well. Hang on while I find a host that doesn't employ censors bored as shit and behaving like craven... Read more »
