Gaokao Essay Earning “Zero Mark” Is Among The Best

Gaokao essay scores 0 points
Scores are in for China’s National College Entrance Exams. But as 9 million test-takers are assessed by a number, it’s interesting to note that the one exam garnering the most attention from the press features an essay that scored no number at all — a zero.

Gaokao Questions Are Ridiculous

Gaokao unhappy face
Global Times is running a neat feature on its Facebook page (yes, Global Times has a Facebook page) in which it posts sample questions from China's National College Entrance Exam, i.e. gaokao. Its headline asks: So you think you’re smarter than a Chinese high school student? Oh hell no, no one thinks they're smarter than Chinese high school students. We're all reeling from years of alcohol abuse and our heads are no longer filled with facts. But even if we were smarter, would we be able to answer labyrinthine questions such as...

Faces Of Gaokao Will Make You Happy You Never Had To Take The Gaokao

Face of gaokao 2013a
Unless you did. In which case, sorry. I'm sure there's a Western equivalent that's as traumatic and possibly intellectually growth-stunting as the Chinese college entrance exam process. Binge drinking? Drugs? I don't know what the equivalent is. Gaokao, of course, commences today, as does national mourning for the country's youth. To a childhood dying young -- eyes the shady test has shut.

Don’t Prematurely Ring The Goddamn Bell If You Ever Proctor A National College Entrance Exam

Gaokao hell
It’s every student’s worst nightmare: sitting in the most important test of your life, you’re told out of the blue that time’s up. You look at your sheet and realize that 13 questions remain unanswered. Impossible, you think, because you have taken a million practice tests and you know exactly how much time it takes... Read more »

Studying In The Subway, On A Portable Desk

Studious on subway
It’s unclear when this picture was taken, but it appeared on 王浩然vic‘s Weibo yesterday. Netizens have expressed bemusement. Why this young lady needs a desk to read is a question I’ll not answer here. Instead, I’ll point you to Helen Gao’s recent article in The Atlantic about gaokao. One feels compelled to rip the desk away, tell... Read more »

Real Gaokao Questions: Hilarious, Baffling, Pointless (In Some Order)

High expectations dad and Tiger Mom combine forces
We’ll have to wait until July before the results of the gaokao – national university entrance exams – are announced. When they are, state media’s response will be as predictable and reflexive as British media et alia sticking an attractive blonde celebrating her A-levels on the front page (and pages 2,3,5,8 and 9). The top scorers... Read more »

Faces Of Gaokao

It was only last year that I stopped having one particular recurring nightmare: I would be back in high school or college, and it would be the day before a big exam, and it would dawn on me that I had never attended any classes; or I would totally forget that I had even signed... Read more »