Traffic Light (红绿灯) is a show on Beijing Television (BTV) that airs an ostensibly instructional segment called "Accidents That Should Never Happen." Everything about it is ridiculous. The only way to make it more ridiculous is to watch it in slow motion, set to music. This is the first video in a weekly series.
Consider this your introduction to a weekly series in which our resident asshole, Drake Moreau, wades into Beijing’s seedy districts (because he’s an asshole) and writes about them like the asshole he is. Just to give you an example of the type of twat we’re dealing with, here’s the g-chat conversation in which I asked... Read more »
The article in question was actually published yesterday, so please don’t be misled by the use of “today” in the title. It’s just an expression. Some reporters got “assaulted” in Panhe, Guangdong, and though we don’t know the extent of anyone’s injuries (just a minor detail, right guys?), MSNBC’s “Behind the Wall” China blog decided... Read more »
h/t Kirby In a country where people are generally quite conscious of the wellness of mind and body, it doesn’t surprise me that a company would spam its employees asking them to sign up for a yoga class sponsored by the firm. What is sort of surprising — only a little, perhaps — is that... Read more »
Do you like Westlife? Do you really? Would you travel from Hawaii to Beijing to see Westlife? Is that how much you like Westlife? Are you so much into the whole liking of Westlife that you have a friend who would send an email to an expat magazine’s editor asking for help in arranging a... Read more »
This picture sings. It’s an aria, a fucking one at that — understated, true – O mio armonia, mi chiamano Pekin. Take note of the slightly overweight yet undersized dog in a pink sweater. The nearly-old man wearing multiple layers of pants and a cigarette held just that way. Notice the plastic bag of baozi tied in a... Read more »
The CBA All-Star game was last night in Guangzhou, with the very first minute portending an evening of heroic fails. The southern all-stars sprinted out to miss their first three shots, all three-pointers. Their first two buckets were scored by former Dallas Maverick Wang Zhizhi, whom a less discerning fan could be excused for thinking was dead. Still, the North still found itself down 11 near the end of the first quarter, ball in Stephon Marbury's hands, when the above happened.
Via ChinaSmack The day after an “Emmy Award-winning TV news correspondent” compared Jeremy Lin to Jackie Robinson in China Daily and wrote, “Lin is a devout Christian. But I think his success has more to do with Confucian rather than Christian values,” and, “But until his team eventually loses a game and the champagne corks stop popping”... Read more »
Shanghai Calling is a movie about a confident, ambitious, career-minded Chinese American named Sam who gets called into his New York law firm’s office one day and told he’s in for some “big news.” As he prepares to humbly accept what he believes is a promotion, he’s told, “We’re sending you to China!” Uh-oh. China... Read more »
Jeremy Lin moves the needle. Check out this fight between Richard Sandomir and Darren Rovell on Twitter, inspired by a tweet that makes an askew (by which I mean slanty-eyed*, of fucking course) reference to Lin:
Among the other things that happen: the real-life character battling the chalkboard figure becomes impregnated by said cannonball after it slingshots out of said condom. Then his fist turns into a rocket that flies into an electrical socket — he is electrocuted but doesn’t die. The chalkboard figure performs a Mortal Kombat-like finishing move that... Read more »
Via Ministry of Tofu: “A vivid portrayal of the Chinese society: The upper class is doing the splits (slang for two-timing); the middle class is being brainwashed; the lower class is awaiting their doom.” On this, the day that car ownership in Beijing surpassed 5 million, here are your links for the weekend.
Just when you thought this saga couldn't get crazier, Jeremy Lin leads the Knicks back from a double-digit deficit and hits the game-winning bucket near the buzzer. I've never seen an NBA crowd cheer its home team's loss quite like this.
Well. This is kind of adorable. I don’t mean the dog, named Malachy, which won Best in Show on Tuesday night. I mean this lead from the Associated Press: “A bobbing little pompom put on a peak performance at the Westminster Kennel Club.”