Anelka And Shanghai Shenhua FC Are In Beijing Tonight, And This Is Why You Should Root Against Them

Anelka and wife
So... the French. Their language sounds like a bit of old pudding being forced through a keyhole. Their attitude and manners are somewhere between a toaster and mildly mentally-deficient groundhog. And their only useful purpose, as far as I can see, is keeping the Germans away from the Spaniards, who seem really quite nice. The French are rubbish. Read more »

‘You Just Made A French Concession!’ And Other Heckles For Anelka At Tonight’s Beijing Guoan Home Opener

Charles Platiau / Reuters
Before you go racing to Workers Stadium though, you should know Anelka — the former Chelsea and French national team star — may not play tonight due to injury (game-time decision). Also, you may not want to chant “French Concession,” considering the last guy who used that phrase publicly got fined 47,500 yuan. And really,... Read more » Read more »

This Is Either The Worst Or Best Pole Dance Ever [UPDATE]

Best or worst pole dance ever
UPDATE: The above video was appended on 3/18. It features Ayo Technology and Don’t Cha. The Chinese Pole Dancing Championship is about to start (apparently), and the woman in the video after the jump (it’s there because it auto-plays) is sixty-something [correction: born in the 1960s] Shi Xiaohong (according to title). All we know for... Read more » Read more »

Would Drunken Drake Let Himself Be Taken Advantage Of At A Massage Parlor? Nah, Not Him

Drake Moreau
We all have our routines when we're drunk or tired. My friend Drew recently introduced me to the idea of visiting spas. It’s a terrible idea. It can’t be good for the body, especially one as horribly abused as mine, to endure further dehydration in a steam room after 10-plus-hours of drinking. But there we were one night, half-naked in a wooden room, flambéing as steam filled the metal box around us. Read more »

Bo Xilai, Be Well, And Godspeed

Bo Xilai
Earlier today, Bo Xilai was ousted from his post as party secretary of Chongqing, a stunning — if not altogether unexpected — end to an unusually public saga that began when Wang Lijun showed up at the US embassy in Chengdu on February 6 with dirt on his former boss. At 11:43 am, a film... Read more » Read more »