All Sorts Of Awful: Black Bear Mauls Monkey After Bikes Collide At Shanghai Wild Animal Park [UPDATE]

Bear mauls monkey featured image
What happens when a bear races a monkey on a bicycle? First of all, stop. Why is a bear racing a monkey… Oh fuck it. Take over, Huffington Post: During the performance, two monkeys take the lead as onlookers laugh and cheer. The bear is hot on their heels, however, and a second-lap crash quickly turns... Read more » Read more »

Grenade Training With Female Chinese Soldier Nearly Goes Horribly Wrong

Grenade training with female soldier in Yunnan, China nearly goes horribly wrong
Okay guys, shelve the jokes. Who among us has handled live explosives and knows the special feeling of a shrapnel-packed weapon ticking down to our doom? Adrenaline gushing through the veins of our throwing arm, would our toss be guaranteed a certain distance, the ideal trajectory, so that the projectile -- shrapnel-packed, explosive -- doesn't bounce back at our feet, as it does here, in this video, to the poor female recruit and her two companions? Read more »

Chinese Thieves Brutally Assaulted, Smashed With Concrete Blocks [Disturbing]

Brutal beatdown of thieves 2
Here is 3 minutes, 17 seconds of two men getting the shit kicked out of them. Right here, the epitome of the expression "beaten within an inch of one's life." It's brutal and vicious -- and then the concrete blocks come out. The two men lying prone on the ground were apparently thieves, but quoting the top commenter on the Youku video -- "Even beatings have a limit, it's not worth beating them to death." We're gonna go ahead and slap a viewer discretion advisory on this one. Screenshots for those who would rather not click play: Read more »

Chinese city using dogs to detect earthquakes… dogs that bark incessantly, annoying everyone

The East is Read
In the age of hypersensitive geological instruments and scientific tools, isn’t it nice to know that the best way to detect earthquakes is with a warm-bloodied creature called a dog? Right, no. It’s a quaint idea — using canines to predict the earth’s tremors — but after implementation in one Chinese city, it’s also something... Read more » Read more »

Today In Wonderful Moments In Chinese Media: This Photoshopped Dog And His, Um

Dog piss photoshop
Via Austin Ramzy of Time, here’s Beijing Evening News’s photoshopped picture of a dog pissing on a car. The title of the article, as if it matters at all, is, “No harm to tires; still, don’t let it ‘go’ wherever it wants.” It’s about dogs peeing on tires. That picture, however, says so much more,... Read more » Read more »

A Chinese Mosquito Story

Chinese mosquito story
On April 18, I killed a mosquito, my first of the calendar year. “Springtime is officially here!” went the announcement. I did not do as Krzysztof Pawliszak did, which is this: Read more »

Please Enjoy This Adorable Red Panda Named Firefox Doing Pull-Ups In Fuzhou

Red panda does pull-ups 2
This is already more than a week old, but it's too good to dismiss on those grounds. Check out this red panda at the Fuzhou Panda World in Fujian province, being all adorable to ridiculous levels. His name is Firefox, and it's no mere raccoon. In this 30-second clip, it basically makes everyone forget that other type of panda. We're told the red pandas at this reserve can also balance on balls and ride electric vehicles. Read more »

How Police Neutralized A Knife-Wielder Who Killed 2 In Beijing (Video)

Li Jinghui, Beijing knife attacker
A man from Bayan, Heilongjiang province attacked random drivers and passengers with a knife near Guangqumen Bridge in Beijing on Saturday afternoon, killing two and injuring another. Police say Li Jinghui, 36, "took the drastic actions because he had trouble in his relationship," according to Xinhua. Li ducked into a car and was dragged out both citizens and police. During the ensuing scuffle, which you can watch above, Li suffered fatal wounds. "Police eventually took control of the situation but Li later died in hospital from his injuries," writes Xinhua. Read more »

Woman Poops In Shenzhen Subway Elevator, Caught On Video

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What is a public space? Who belongs? And what are the things that one can do in this place? Poop? In this video, a middle-aged woman, on an elevator in Shenzhen's Subway Line 3, suddenly feels the call of nature, so she drops trou and takes a dump. Her companion, a middle-aged male, stands beside her and holds a button to keep the elevator doors closed. Neither clean up the mess, because, you know, who cleans up their own poop, right? Read more »

Vandal Damages Forbidden City Antique, Claims, “If I Didn’t Smash The Glass, The Glass Would’ve Smashed Me!”

Forbidden City vandal featured image
An ancient clock was damaged when a vandal smashed a glass inside a Forbidden City pavilion on Saturday. The window was repaired and the pavilion was reopened the next day, and the damage seems minor. The man, 22-year-old Wang something, reportedly yelled while being arrested, "If I didn't smash the glass, the glass would've smashed me!" Authorities are now considering upgrading the windows on all the Forbidden City's exhibits to keep out the crazies. Read more »

At Least 2 Dead, 3 Missing In Tunnel Collapse At Xi’an Subway Construction Site

Xi'an subway collapse
At least two are dead after an accident at a subway construction site in Xi'an, Shaanxi province this morning. At around 2:40 am, a tunnel caved in as nine workers were in the midst of building Line 3. Four have been rescued, but of the five that were buried, two have been found dead while the other three are still missing. (Note: the title of the above video claims three died on the scene.) Read more »

China’s Air Pollution Has Been Turned Into A Jeopardy! Game

China air pollution jeopardy
A cheeky someone over at JeopardyLabs, where quiz fans can create their own Jeopardy! game (not to be confused with J-Archive, which has every Jeopardy! question ever), has created a game for China watchers who love talking about pollution. It’s mostly lame, with several true/false and fill-in-the-blank questions that don’t require the answer in the form of... Read more » Read more »

Polite Headbanging And Chinese Rock At The Dali Erhai World Music Festival

Dali Music Festival 2
BJC contributor Chris Clayman attended the Dali Erhai World Music Festival in Yunnan province from April 29 – May 1. His dispatch follows. A Cop with a Weird Haircut We’re standing near the fortune teller when Lin Dan shows us something. “I’m a cop,” he says. He pulls out his wallet and holds it close to... Read more » Read more »

Friday Musical Outro: Not There, Here Again

Not There Live at Temple on May 4 featured image
Hello Beijing Cream readers. My name is Josh and I work at this other website called Smart Beijing, where I write tl;dr music articles on a weekly basis. The Tao is outsourcing these Friday Musical Outros to my comrade Morgan, but he's busy preparing for his simultaneous DJ sets at Dada and Temple tomorrow night, so he passed the buck to me. Today's video is kind of a cheat. A teaser, you might say. Tomorrow night at Temple, live funktronic act Not There is re-emerging after seven months of dormancy. Not ones to miss out on an opportunity to employ guerrilla marketing tactics, they released this lil' 25-second clip to promote the show. Read more »