Xi Jinping Anointed PRC President, Jorge Mario Bergoglio Elected As Pope Francis

Xi Jinping and Pope Francis
It’s been said before by many commentators — e.g., Eric Fish of Sinostand (“The Catholic church and CCP: estranged brothers?”) and Adam of Visions of Paradise (“Several times in the past I’ve read quotes stating that Communist governments learned how to manipulate their citizens by imitating the Catholic Church”) — that the Chinese Communist Party... Read more » Read more »

The Chinese Lack Creativity, As Definitively Proven By This List Of China’s Top Porn Search Terms

China pornmd
The Internet is for porn, but until I came across this Shanghaiist post, I hadn’t realized there’s a search engine that cuts out the chaff and takes you straight to what you’re after. Check it out: PornMD, which is safe for work until you write anything in the search bar, after which you should lower... Read more » Read more »

Very Funny Dubbing Of North Korean Propaganda Video Insists Americans Love Drinking Snow

North Korea dubbing
We thank Washington Post's Max Fisher for flagging a version of the above video, which has traveled from the YouTube account of British filmmaker and travel author Alun Hill (who created it) to Hong Kong's Phoenix TV, which broadcasts in China, before making its way back to YouTube... where Hill's name has been removed from the credits and some people have been, as they say, ensnared in the satire's net. Read more »

The Farmer Responsible For Dumping 6,601 (And Counting) Swine Carcasses Into Shanghai River Has Been Detained

Pig asks WTF
Seriously, now: forget the jokes, forget about water safety concerns, forget everything until this question is answered: what possibly could have gone through the mind of the homicidal pig farmer who dumped more than 6,000 pigs into the Huangpu River? Did a pig farm explode? Does circovirus cause pigs to go mad and jump in... Read more » Read more »

Mid-Week Links: Xi Jinping’s possible new VP, Manny Ramirez is playing in Taiwan, and Ai Weiwei wants to release a rock album

Preparing for China vs Japan Gongti Workers Stadium
I would not recommend driving around Workers Stadium this evening, where I took the above picture. Expect throngs of people as FC Guo’an, Beijing’s hometown team, takes on Japan’s Sanfrecce Hiroshima in the AFC Champions League (game is wrapping up as we speak). Meanwhile, also prepare for tomorrow’s Pi Day over links. Read more »

Are You A Chinese Driver? Please Brand Yourself With This Bumper Sticker

Chinese driver sticker
You don’t have to brand yourself, of course, because that would be racist. But this is very interesting, via Vancouver’s Straight.com via Reddit: On the ICBC website, the public auto insurer notes its official “L and N signs let other motorists know you’re a new driver or motorcycle rider”. Apparently, some drivers are going one step... Read more » Read more »

Man Arrested For Sexually Enslaving A Minor In Guangdong

Sex slave
A man surnamed Chen, who was wanted for keeping a girl in a dog cage as a sex slave for a week, was arrested in Guiyang, Guangdong province, Southern Metropolis Daily reported Tuesday. Authorities identified the victim as a 17-year-old from Hunan province. Chen, believed to be a 40-something from Shenyang, Liaoning province, met Ms.... Read more » Read more »

SCMP: Li Tianyi, Accused Of Gang Rape, Is Actually Older Than 16 And Should Be Tried As An Adult

Li Tianyi graduation photo
Li Tianyi, who was arrested last month for allegedly participating in a gang rape with four other people in a Beijing hotel, may have used his famous parents’ connections to falsify records to make himself seem younger than he actually is, according to a blockbuster exclusive from the South China Morning Post. Li’s parents, father... Read more » Read more »

Skype In China Might Not Offer Privacy, But Why Would You Expect It To?

Skype for China
I ran across this piece on a blog for the Heritage Foundation in which the author tries to connect the recent accusations from Mandiant about hacking from China (still without conclusive evidence) and TOM1-Skype’s censoring: Chinese hackers have infiltrated the popular Internet messaging service Skype. The hackers have modified the operation of Skype so that the... Read more » Read more »

What’s All The Hullaballoo Over Panda Poo Tea?

Smelling panda feces for tea
In many ways, it’s a story that combines everything that makes the Chinese media gush: pandas, tea, X-thousand years of culture, little children wearing cute costumes… And poop. Panda poop. That’s the recipe behind what some are calling the most expensive tea ever created. Selling for an eye-popping 440,000 RMB per kilogram (about $32,000 per... Read more » Read more »

Here’s The Moment A Hired Thug Slugged An Already Bloody Petitioner

Chai-qian petitioner slugged
Found on Sina Weibo, the above picture supposedly depicts a thug beating a petitioner in broad daylight on the streets of Xi’an in Shaanxi province. The man on the left is a goon allegedly hired by a demolish-and-relocate (chai-qian) gang, perhaps a real estate company or a local official. (Think the government wouldn’t get involved?... Read more » Read more »

China’s Two Major Propaganda Organs Are Merging And Need A New Name. We Have Some Ideas

SARFT new logo
The General Administration of Press and Publication, or GAPP, and State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, or SARFT, are China’s two principal ministries of propaganda, tasked with tweaking, managing, and bowlderizing creative, edgy, realistic, and otherwise inspiring work into a mushy, digestible pap for mainstream consumption. It’s an unpleasant job, but someone has to... Read more » Read more »