Let’s See How Chinese Internet Censored Those Forbidden City Nudie Pics

Forbidden City Wanimal shoot 2
In honor of Cyber Security Week in China -- that's this week, whereupon "China's Internet police are stepping into the light," according to WSJ -- I thought we'd take a glimpse at the state of Chinese Internet smut through the lens of a recent happening, photographer Wang Dong's now-infamous Forbidden City photo shoot featuring nude models.

Look How State Media Is Spinning The Failure Of China’s Latest Anti-Porn Crackdown

China's latest anti-porn campaign
China's anti-porn crackdown -- its latest, I mean, in a long line of many -- isn't going as well as planned, because apparently porn is hard to block and everyone watches it, so the propaganda spinners have gone into overdrive to frame the story in a new light. If you want to see Chinese state media at its best / worst, these are the moments you cherish, when it completely jumps the shark.

No Internet Freedom Without Internet Order, Says Obviously Batshit People’s Daily

People's Daily wearing jester's cap
People's Daily has had an eventful week. Last Monday it called the New York Times "circling vultures" for an article on Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370; on Friday it sought "immediate rectification" from a parody Twitter account, @relevantorgans; then, somehow, it got a guest editorial out of Bill Gates. But PD truly tops itself with this next thing, because these are words that someone actually wrote. Via Reuters:

Astrill Down, PornHub Down [UPDATE]

Astrill down
We're still awaiting word from Astrill support, but in case you're wondering, yes, the popular VPN service is down -- both the website and service itself. We don't know if it has anything to do with China, but probably not -- "technical problem," says Astrill.com. Look at that emoticon - that is the sorriest goddamn sad-face I've ever seen.

Children’s Books Banned For Spreading “Pornography”

Those Who Don't Read It Upside-down Are Pigs
A book called Those Who Don't Read It Upside-down Are Pigs, among others, has been seized for "spreading pornography," according to Xinhua, as edited by Global Times. And two publishers, China Pictorial Publishing House and Shaanxi Normal University Publishing House, have been suspended for three months.

An Interview With Guda, Star And Producer Of The Xinhua-Endorsed Fetish Film “Lethal Injection”

Xinhua confuses porn 4
In the above picture, a doctor is about to administer a lethal injection to the woman being strapped to the bed. It's a stark and somber scene, only more shocking because a cameraman was allowed to document, close-up, the stages of a real-life execution. At least, that's what Xinhua, the official press agency of the People's Republic of China, thought when it published a slideshow titled, “Actual Record of Female Inmate’s Execution – Exposing the World’s Darkest Side.”

Xinhua, Once Again, Accidentally Publishes Porno

Xinhua confuses porn 30
It's been a while since our friends at Xinhua have done something truly absurd, but today, China's official state-run news agency has really outdone itself. The culprit this time is not Xinhua's English-language slideshow, but a Chinese edition, which recently published 40 pictures that appear to be screenshots from a fetish porno.

The Hadrian Firewall Of Britain Will Keep Us Safe

David Cameron as Big Brother
Today, barbarians of the unruly and unruled Internet are less dangerous. Today, your sleep will be sounder, your dreams more colorful, your future freer. For today, Britain, you are one step closer to achieving China's harmony-promoting, children-protecting Net filtration system, which we lovingly refer to as the Great Firewall. And how great it is: no porn, because it can be eradicated like rats; no discussion of historical events, so as not to offend the sensibilities of certain mothers who would prefer to forget those things ever happened; no YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, New York Times, or Bloomberg, because screw 'em; and no dissent (and why would there be dissent?). Hadrian's Firewall, we'll call it. You'll love it, as we do.