Ed's note: On April 19, the US Department of State published its annual Country Reports on Human Rights Practices, which included a section on China. It was typical, mundane, and features nothing you don't already know, including restriction of Uighur and Tibetan movement, harassment of journalists and dissidents, prison labor, discrimination, extrajudicial killings, etc. On April 21, the State Council Info ...

The title is "Embarassed by tight sport pants." Maybe not safe for work. I don't know where you people work. ...

I have to admit, the first time I encountered @XHNews, calling itself the "Xinhua News Agency" -- description, "A multimedia group, Xinhua delivers the most authoritative China news as well as fast and objective global news" -- I thought it was a joke. (First tweet, March 1: "Annual sessions of China's top legislature and political advisory body are scheduled to open in early March.") It did itself no favor ...

As China promotes up-and-comers to its approximately 350-member CPC Central Committee, culminating in an announcement (we hope) of the all-powerful nine-member Central Politburo Standing Committee, the place you should be keeping an eye on today is @XHNews, Xinhua's official Twitter account. Not only will it probably break the news of the new Standing Committee -- yes, Traditional Media, eat your hearts out ...

[caption id="attachment_6435" align="alignnone" width="486" caption=""Please make sure Madam Whiplash gets these pronto.""][/caption] Here's Xinhua's special slideshow of delegates of the 18th CPC National Congress arriving in Beijing. These are the good folks for whom cops shut multiple lanes of traffic from the airport to Tiananmen. Captioned with RFH. ...

Who doesn't love a good photo-bombing baby, right? Or for that matter, just a photo of a baby -- totally awesome, yeah? And while we're at it, who doesn't also love a picture of a baby's penis, amirite? Guys, you with me? I'm not sure what the journalistic policy is on posting pictures of nude toddlers... at what age is it child porn? Serious question. I mean, it's obviously fine if it's a baby, but what if ...

Here is Xinhua's latest slideshow, "Gourd craft-based products attract collectors in N China." We tried, briefly and unsuccessfully, to see penises where there were none, for gourds, however phallic, fall short of the "unintentional dong" standard. But there is something better. There is something better indeed. Fallopian tubes. Yes, the good ol' f-tubes. The rollicking double fallope. The tip-top durable o ...

Ultimate Surrender is a website featuring "competitive female sexual wrestling," and in bold font on its frontpage, it notes that it is "for adults only." NSFW, if you need it spelled out for you. Not safe for an ostensible news organization, then. Xinhua either does not know this or does not care, because on the front of its "Odd News" section today, it used a smaller version of the above picture to promot ...

Xinhua! What are you doing??? *Violently shakes Xinhua by the shoulders so that its head rattles like a punching bag* XINHUA? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING??? *Slaps Xinhua across the cheek, then again with a backhand, so that three ovals of spittle, each smaller than the oval preceding it, flies out of Xinhua's mouth, first one direction and then the other* XINHUA??? XINHUA???? *More violent shaking and slapping, ...

Here we are, having a serious afternoon discussion about assault and kidnapping, and who but Uncle Xinhua bursts into the living room with pants around his ankles, hair all fussed, a white bottle of gin in one hand and a burgundy bottle of rum in the other, shouting with a breath that stinks of hangover, "GUESS WHAT? IT'S DRUNK O'CLOCK TIME, BITCHES!" Here's its latest slideshow, titled "Terrible! When wome ...

"A fair few were drunks, philanderers and frauds and more than one was a spy," writes Paul French in Through the Looking Glass, a book about China's foreign correspondents from the Opium Wars to Mao. "They changed sides, they lost their impartiality, they displayed bias and a few were downright scoundrels and lairs of the first order." And like so, French also neatly articulates exactly what Xinhua thinks o ...

[caption id="attachment_5289" align="alignnone" width="400" caption="Photo/XINHUA - no, seriously"][/caption] While significant things happen outside the offices of People's Daily, and other people do real work (like censoring videos -- Youku, looking at you), People's Daily Online has teamed up with Xinhua to bring you important, possibly life-saving tips on dangerous bathing, in a not-at-all tongue-in-che ...

One of my pet peeves is people, Asian or otherwise, pretending to be offended when someone intentionally or unintentionally uses the word chink in a totally non-racial context. (People who are actually offended are only slightly better.) Example: Jeremy Lin, ESPN headline: "Chink in the armor." We get it: Lin's Asian, chink isn't the best choice of term there. But you know what? Chink is also a cool word. I ...

Sometimes it's best not to try to figure out Xinhua. Here's their latest face-palm effort, "Super movie villains of all time." Unedited and in the order that they appear, here are the captions on each of the 10 pictures under this heading: 1. The Joker 2. Heath Ledger 3. Doctor Octopus 4. The Lizard 5. Warden Samuel Norton 6. Lord Voldemort 7. Hannibal Lecter 8. Jack Torrance 9. Catherine Tramell 10. Ra's a ...

[caption id="attachment_4785" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="What Tianjin always looks like"][/caption] They're not even trying anymore. Xinhua published a slideshow today of the "Top ten happiest cities in China," according to a CCTV survey, and the list goes: 1. Lhasa, Tibet 2. Taiyuan, Shanxi 3. Hefei, Anhui 4. Tianjin 5. Changsha, Hunan 6. Hohhot, Inner Mongolia 7. Shijiazhuang, Hebei 8. Jinan, ...

ANIMAL, it says. That's the best part. Hello -- yes, this is ANIMAL. This picture is part of a collection via Xinhua called "Beauty pageant of dogs." (There's something Xinhua isn't telling us, I'm sure.) Animal has absolutely no fashion sense, but what about this one here... ...

We're not sure what this "2nd China International Sandy-Beach & Swimsuit Culture Exposition" is, nor have we heard of Huludao, Liaoning province, which is hosting this expo that began yesterday and lasts until Sunday. We only know what's in the photos, and that Xinhua put them on its website, because of course it would. ...

From the 9th annual Guangzhou sex festival, November 12, 2011, via Yahoo China. I know, I know, reading what Xinhua has to say about sex must be like reading the part in your mother's 4th-grade book report on Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret where the protagonist buys her first bra and sanitary napkin. Still, here it is: The 10th edition of the festival will host a variety of activities like exhibitions ...

Xinhua's efforts to be your uncle's uncle's version of Buzzfeed continue. Are media outlets still identifying Xinhua as "the official press agency of the People's Republic of China"? Yes? OK, just making sure. Here are a set of pictures published on the official press agency of the People's Republic of China's website yesterday. Samples: ...

Our favorite government mouthpiece has flubbed again with the headline on its latest story (four-plus hours after its posting, it has yet to be changed). Ostensibly about a new round of rainstorms scheduled to hit this afternoon, Xinhua inadvertently draws our attention to the waves of negative reaction to the municipal government's disaster response, a sampling of which can be found on China Digital Times  ...