The Hadrian Firewall Of Britain Will Keep Us Safe

David Cameron as Big Brother
Today, barbarians of the unruly and unruled Internet are less dangerous. Today, your sleep will be sounder, your dreams more colorful, your future freer. For today, Britain, you are one step closer to achieving China's harmony-promoting, children-protecting Net filtration system, which we lovingly refer to as the Great Firewall. And how great it is: no porn, because it can be eradicated like rats; no discussion of historical events, so as not to offend the sensibilities of certain mothers who would prefer to forget those things ever happened; no YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, New York Times, or Bloomberg, because screw 'em; and no dissent (and why would there be dissent?). Hadrian's Firewall, we'll call it. You'll love it, as we do.

Chengguan To Get Busier This Summer As Beijing Quadruples Street BBQ Fines

Lamb kebobs
This story was never good to begin with -- authorities crack down on street barbecue vendors, who by the way may be passing off rat meat as lamb skewers, because they think street barbecueing contributes significantly to air pollution -- but the folks in charge have found a way to make it worse: more chengguan are expected to deal with this issue, because now fines are serious, as in quadruple what they used to be.

Construction Of World’s Tallest Building, Barely Started, Has Stopped

Sky City as a dream
We managed to ignore all the reports this week about the start of construction on Sky City, a planned 838-meter structure in Changsha, Hunan province that, if completed, would be the tallest building in the world. If. It was supposed to be done in March. It was supposed to be done in three months. It was supposed to be a trailblazer for prefab technology. It was always supposed to be something grander than it ever could be. Just take a look at the picture above, variations of which have been sent to reporters everywhere. It's a castle in the clouds, a dream that will never be realized.

This Is Why China Can’t Have Nice Things Like Salad Bars

Salad tower at Pizza Huts in China 2
If you only had one plate and could make only one trip to the salad bar, what would you choose? Take some inspiration from the pictures here -- posted to LabaQ and reblogged by the good folk of Kotaku -- which feature selected works from China's culinary Rodins.