Everyone has their China cliche of choice that, despite annoying family, friends, and everyone, they return to again and again because life is hard and we need vents to lessen the psychological pressures of being alive. For most expats, it's pollution, i.e. complaining about it. For me, it's the squat toilet, i.e. hating the very concept with every poor muscle and fiber of my inevitably-sore-after-using lower body. Read more »
Oh Boris. He of this hilarious Sina Weibo account is in Beijing this week for trade talks, and isn't it just so like him to bring an entourage of reporters onto already-congested Subway Line 1 to do... what is the point of this video, exactly?
Just skip ahead to the final three seconds of it, beginning at 0:50. Trust me, just do that, and you'll be fine. Read more »
A "zombie" attacked Michael Bay on the set of Transformers 4 in Hong Kong on Thursday. There were no injuries, not even -- it seems -- to Bay's indefatigable confidence to continue making awful movies. Read more »
Our friends at Beijing Today will be swinging by every now and then to introduce art and culture around the city. This week's focus is on 798's Galleria Continua Beijing, which currently is featuring a solo exhibition by Qiu Zhijie. Read more »
"His shooting is perfect," said a fan at the MasterCard Arena (Wukesong) in Beijing on Tuesday before the Golden State Warriors tipped off against the Los Angeles Lakers. He was talking, of course, about Steph Curry. Read more »
The first indication that the Qurban festival has arrived in Northwest China is the pooling of sheep outside every block of Uyghur tenements in the cities of Xinjiang. Quivering clumps of fat-tailed sheep are tied to branches as men begin sharpening knives for ritual slaughter. After the throat is cut, a small opening is made in a leg and air is blown from mouth to shank. The sheep is then hung from the nearest available beam or branch and skinned. Under ideal circumstances, every part will be used. Read more »
The wonderfully idiotic adults behind Rebecca Black's "Friday" have done it again, kidnapping what appears to be a sweet teenage girl and forcing her in front of the camera to perform the world's worst song. Ark Music Factory, led by producer Patrice Wilson (he's the dude in the panda costume; what panda costume, you ask? hang on), has topped itself with "Chinese Food," simply a glop of bewilderment and suburban American camp. Read more »
![Xinhua Has Truly Outdone Itself With Latest Slideshow Featuring A Baby’s Dick In A Cup [UPDATE]](http://beijingcream.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Baby-dick-in-a-cup-censored-160x120.png "Xinhua Has Truly Outdone Itself With Latest Slideshow Featuring A Baby’s Dick In A Cup [UPDATE]")
