Goddamnit, Squat Toilet

Baby stuck in squat toilet
Everyone has their China cliche of choice that, despite annoying family, friends, and everyone, they return to again and again because life is hard and we need vents to lessen the psychological pressures of being alive. For most expats, it's pollution, i.e. complaining about it. For me, it's the squat toilet, i.e. hating the very concept with every poor muscle and fiber of my inevitably-sore-after-using lower body.

Another Public Pooper Caught On Camera In Shenzhen Subway

Shenzhen Subway pooper caught on tape
Yes, we too are beginning to suffer from scat fatigue, but... meh. We sort of have a theme going, and it'd be a shame to neglect it. This one comes via The Nanfang: A picture of a woman pooping on a platform in a station along Shenzhen’s Luobao Line has already been forwarded by three respected, Shenzhen-based microblogs: Shenzhen’s Big and Small Issues, Shenzhen Metropolitan Round-up, and Baoan Life.

Woman Poops In Shenzhen Subway Elevator, Caught On Video

Shenzhen woman poops in elevator featured image
What is a public space? Who belongs? And what are the things that one can do in this place? Poop? In this video, a middle-aged woman, on an elevator in Shenzhen's Subway Line 3, suddenly feels the call of nature, so she drops trou and takes a dump. Her companion, a middle-aged male, stands beside her and holds a button to keep the elevator doors closed. Neither clean up the mess, because, you know, who cleans up their own poop, right?

What’s All The Hullaballoo Over Panda Poo Tea?

Smelling panda feces for tea
In many ways, it’s a story that combines everything that makes the Chinese media gush: pandas, tea, X-thousand years of culture, little children wearing cute costumes… And poop. Panda poop. That’s the recipe behind what some are calling the most expensive tea ever created. Selling for an eye-popping 440,000 RMB per kilogram (about $32,000 per... Read more »

The Chinese Knew Their Shit

Mr. Hankey Poo
"Transplanting feces from a healthy person into the gut of one who is sick can quickly cure severe intestinal infections caused by a dangerous type of bacteria that antibiotics often cannot control," reports the New York Times. Who knew? The Chinese, that's who.

Fight Breaks Out In Shenzhen Hospital Over Pooping Toddler, And It’s All Little Shit Brother’s Fault

Ms. Zhang after fight in Shenzhen hospital
The boy who pooped on a crowded Guangzhou subway last week — rather unceremoniously nicknamed the “Little Shit Brother” (in this video, it’s rendered as “pooping emperor,” as brother and emperor are pronounced the same) — is still fresh on people’s minds. We know this because that boy might have directly caused a fight to... Read more »

Moments In Poop History: This Kid On The Guangzhou Subway

When you gotta go...
This is one of those stories that Chinese netizens would probably prefer to keep bottled up within the confines of Chinese social media, considering mainlanders already have a reputation for being shameless when it comes to public defecation. On Saturday, someone posted onto Sina Weibo a picture of a boy pooping on a crowded Guangzhou... Read more »

This Is Officially The Most Nauseating Picture Of A Squat Toilet We’ve Ever Seen

Squat toilet
Southern Metropolis Daily has the story of a baby found in the squat toilet of a Dongguan shoe factory yesterday (that hurt to write). The picture you see above comes from The Nanfang, which tells us: Police immediately began an investigation to locate the child’s mother. Officers from Liaobu Hengkeng Police Station searched the factory’s... Read more »