That Picture Of Chinese Leaders Doing Gangnam Style Has Been Censored, Because Censors Hate Fun

CENSORED
Hate it as I do, I understand why some things are censored. You can’t have a perpetually restless populace in the countryside, for instance, believing that an alien overlord will descend from heaven and deliver them from misery if only they’ll overthrow the current regime. You can’t have top leaders exposed as hypocrites. You can’t... Read more »

Google Blocked, Then Unblocked, In China. What’s Going On?

Google blocked
Yesterday, China took down Google, the decision of a Net Nanny who gets off by watching Internet users like you squirm and suffer. But the collective howl of pain and rage that emanated from behind the Great Firewall was actually heard, because this morning, authorities unblocked Google’s services, including Gmail. So what happened? The website GreatFire.org – which... Read more »

Obama Is An Inspirer Of Nations, Particularly China, And Provides Good Material For English-Language Study

Obama's distant nations
Whatever your feelings about American politics, it’s hard to argue that Barack Obama doesn’t shine on the big stage with the lone spotlight. The man knows how to deliver a message, and it’s liable to be heard as clearly halfway around the world as by those closest to him. According to Tea Leaf Nation: In his... Read more »

The Official Denials Have Begun In Wen Jiabao vs. New York Times

Wen Jiabao vs NY Times
The lawyers for the Wen Jiabao family issued an official statement yesterday regarding the New York Times's recent piece that got the website harmonized inside China. It's "a rare instance of a powerful Chinese political family responding directly to a foreign media report," NY Times reports. But the lawyers, while trying to deny everything, actually deny nothing. Read the translated statement closely, as brought to you by SCMP:

The New York Times Has Been Harmonized For Writing About Wen Jiabao

NYT blocked Wen Jiabao
While everyone else was talking about Ai Weiwei, the New York Times had the temerity to publish an explosive report about Premier Wen Jiabao, probably the most popular and ostensibly clean politician in China. Grandpa Wen, as he's affectionately called, has apparently made a lot of money for his family, but that should come as no surprise to anyone. But the Times is currently in Chinese Internet purgatory because it painstakingly detailed exactly how much money: "A review of corporate and regulatory records indicates that the prime minister’s relatives, some of whom have a knack for aggressive deal-making, including his wife, have controlled assets worth at least $2.7 billion." And it's $2.7 billion that Wen's family has taken pains to not disclose.

Here’s NMA’s Wanking Video That Cathay Pacific Convinced YouTube To Remove

Cathay Pacific wanking featured image
As any healthy male knows, the desire to masturbate on an airplane can be OVERWHELMING. Yet who among us is willing to take matters into his own hands? I'll tell you: Cathay Pacific business travelers, that's who. On September 17, Next Media Animation in Taiwan got a tip that passengers on Hong Kong-based Cathay Pacific flights were, if not exactly encouraged to, allowed to join their own one-man Mile High clubs.

In China, It Can Be Dangerous Writing Even About A Fucking Hurdler

Nanjing Oriental Guardian
In the history of censorship in Chinese media, surely we’ve seen more half-baked decisions and upsetting punishments. But surely, as well, we’ve never seen so many journalists punished for such small beer. Spare me your sermon about Liu Xiang as the face of the country’s athletics program and a national hero, etc.: I’m arguing against... Read more »

Global Times Weighs In On Shifang, And Weibo Censors Stir

Baby and riot police, a study in contrasts
You can almost picture the central government official from the propaganda bureau or wherever penning this editorial before sending it over to GT. It sure does seem like Beijing is making an example out of Shifang’s local leaders, with this message to everyone else: buck up or fuck off. Quoth GT: Only erroneous site selections, unqualified... Read more »

Shifang Government Cancels Plans For Copper Factory

Shifang victory?
Wow. So protests in China work? At 5:58 pm today, the official Weibo page of the Shifang, Sichuan municipal government posted a message stating that plans for a proposed molybdenum copper plant, which caused protests that began Saturday and escalated yesterday, have been permanently shelved. Perhaps local leaders read the writing on the wall when the term... Read more »

A June 4 Story: The Shanghai Stock Exchange Is Messin’ With The Politburo

Shanghai Stock Market
By RFH Confounding even the most grounded of numerologists, the movements on today’s Shanghai Stock Exchange have caused a minor stir. The index opened at: Open: 2,346.98 Day Range: 2,308.23 – 2,348.20 Year To Date: +4.96% Previous Close: 2,373.44 52-Week Range: 2,132.63 – 2,826.96 1-Year: -15.38% That’s 2,346.98 as in 23 years since 4/6, which... Read more »

Google Pushes Back Against Chinese Internet Censorship

Google Pushes Back Against Chinese Internet Censorship featured image
Ever been throttled by the Net Nanny in China while doing a simple Google search? Your IP gets cut (or gagged? dick-vised? Sorry, I'm not familiar with Internet's more technical terms) and you're unable to use Google for up to a minute or more. This may not seem like a big deal, but when you're in the middle of doing just one thing that requires the use of the Internet

Porn Sites That Are Not Blocked In China

Porn
Remember when we posted about the oddity of Pornhub and Livejasmin, two of the most popular websites in the world, not being blocked by the Great Firewall? We attributed it to government censors needing to get the occasional wank on.... Well, we've expanded that list somewhat -- because who in the general public doesn't need that occasional release too? You can find the "porn in China" list here -- and thank us later.

Anonymous: #GFW will be dead soon

Is the Great Firewall doomed?
Confession time: I’m petrified of Anonymous. As someone who is hopelessly clumsy when it comes to web hosting and IT, I know how easy it can be for an experienced hacker to ruin my day. But then again, I have nothing to hide. I — unlike Fang Binxing — did not engineer a “Great Firewall”... Read more »

Via Ministry Of Censorship’s Biggest Bitch, Government Tells China’s Internet Companies To Tighten Censorship

Mark Twain on censorship
Here’s how shitty China’s Ministry of Censorship is: instead of doing its one job — which is shitting over everything popular and good in the world, smearing puppies and daffodils with the excrement of its values, and shit — it outsources this one responsibility to private companies, and when said private companies fail to shit... Read more »

“Spring Breeze” Is China’s Latest Cleverly Titled Campaign Against The Internet

Malena Morgan
They have a way with words, don't they? First there was "sweeping the yellow" -- which in Chinese is the poetically sibilant saohuang -- targeting organized prostitution. Then there was the Green Dam, a "filtering" software that one of China's ministries wanted to require every locally produced computer to preinstall. And now? Spring Breeze.

Sina Weibo, China’s Largest Microblogging Service, Punished For Lazy Censorship

BJC's Sina Weibo
The ripples from those stupid coup rumors two weeks ago are finally hitting shore. You remember, right? Those stupid, stupid rumors in which Bo Xilai’s faction was supposedly overthrowing the CCP? We called it “tanks vs. Ferraris.” Authorities were at first mum about this scuttlebutt, but of course they couldn’t let it go unpunished. As... Read more »

China Net Nanny Tightens Vise?

Mistress in Beijing
There's been some chatter on Reddit this morning about "getting a whole lot more firewall today," and speculation is that it has something to do with Neil Heywood, alleged British spy. (Don't google him without a VPN unless you want a connection reset.)