Journos out there, know this: it’s the Global Times’s world, we just live in it. Here’s the lead (lede) from a Sunday article by Sima Pingbang: Poker players all know that in most trick-taking games, the face cards are normally the best. However, the “2″, generally the lowest in rank, can become a special trump... Read more »
There are many things I love about China. But the thing I really, really hate is that they occasionally make me stand up for things I can’t stand. Like the French.
Normally, I would just make fun of the French and their chocolate-bread-eating ways, but in the face of such madness from the Global Times, just call me TAR de’Gaulle.
Progress making dissidents more obsolete Global Times | April 9, 2012 00:13
For those of you who haven’t heard, Fang Lizhi, a crusader for human rights in China and a brilliant physicist and teacher, died last week. I can’t pretend to have been a follower due largely to my relative youth, but, frankly, I have a soft spot for nerds, physicists especially.
Let’s play a guessing game. What kind of website would host a series of pictures such as the above? Cracked.com? (Too classy, probably.) Bro Bible? Frat House Sports? Slingshot? Surely one of those sites with features like “The 50 Bustiest Girls on Facebook” and pop-up video ads. One of those sites in which a new... Read more »
The story in its entirety: A Shenzhen-based condom company must stop branding its products with “Baidu,” Beijing No.1 Intermediate People’s Court ruled yesterday, in favor of the condom’s namesake search engine company. The court found the condom manufacturer, Yelaixiang, violated Baidu’s right to the name because it deliberately used the well-known brand to attract attention,... Read more »
The Top 4 Bullshit Editorials This Week | March 24-31
4. Heritage threatened as tomb-sweeping goes online Global Times | March 29
Tomb Sweeping Day is a yadayada bollockybollock from the reign of emperor Bull Wangle during the Hu Cares Dynasty in the Flerteenth Century. Apparently, people are doing whatever it is that people do on Tomb Sweeping Day online nowadays -- which, from the cartoon in Global Times, we can assume is getting high and watching Karate Kid through Wolverine claws:
I first learned of Sunday’s Ferrari crash in Beijing two nights ago and didn’t think much of it until The Atlantic’s James Fallows wrote about the incident earlier today. My only question had been: Who drives fast enough on a completely deserted ring road at 4 am and crashes? The answer: probably someone very rich... Read more »
By Eric Fish Last week I noticed Global Times began a new Twitter trackback feature. It displayed what tweeters were saying about articles right under the article itself. One of the first pieces this was used on was called “The truth about Tibet is slowly coming to light.” The article itself had a number of... Read more »
Wall Street Journal’s recent blog post about Mao Xinyu, the grandson of Mao Zedong, coupled with the above Caixin picture of Mao from a CPPCC session has given us ample opportunity to revisit an article in Global Times a year and a half ago upon Mao’s promotion to the rank of major general. Wrote a sly copyeditor... Read more »
“Highlights” from the 2012 Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference are after the jump. I just want you to know I nearly lost an eyeball to my own prying fingers while compiling this. Unless otherwise noted, links (plus above picture) are via Global Times.
The phrase “5,000 years,” which we’ve borrowed by way of parody to indicate “culture” on this website, is a ubiquitous catch-all response to anyone who disputes this country’s eminence, quality, or worth. It is used to indicate China’s uninterrupted history — 5,000 years of it, don’t you know? — though its appearance in conversation, in my... Read more »
Perchance, might I ask, how does he lead? By being dead? By making everyone feel inferior at the feet of his boundless magnanimity? With puppy-like, blind devotion? By making evangelists of us all and self-subjugating to a symbol and a spirit, when in fact that symbol and spirit is a myth written by people as real,... Read more »
From Global Times, partially: Giant pandas Gongzai and Yingying seem unusually excited. Gongzai wants Yingying to come down from the tree and he tugs and slaps his half-brother’s legs. They both fall on their fluffy bottoms and start wrestling in a ball of black-white fur. After the fun is over they walk away and begin... Read more »