Foreign-Run VPNs Are Officially Illegal In China, Apparently

This paragraph is simply THE WORST. It comes from Global Times, of course, in a story headlined, “Foreign-run VPNs illegal in China: govt” (emphasis mine):

Residents in China have found logging into their Facebook and Twitter accounts increasingly difficult in recent days, after several popular VPN (virtual private network) companies have alleged that China’s Great Firewall (GFW) has been upgraded. However, officials and experts in China’s Internet industry have said that it is illegal for foreign companies to operate a VPN business in China.

However. Adverb. Used to introduce a statement that contrasts or contradicts a previous one. Example: It is hot; however, I am cold. And: Global Times does good work; however, it gets no respect in wider media circles due to its harebrained editorials that add nothing to any discussion whatsoever.

However, as used by Global Times: “But go fuck yourselves, because.”

As in:

Residents in China have found logging into their Facebook and Twitter accounts increasingly difficult in recent days…

FACT.

…after several popular VPN (virtual private network) companies have alleged that China’s Great Firewall (GFW) has been upgraded.

FACT.

But go fuck yourselves, because officials and experts in China’s Internet industry have said that it is illegal for foreign companies to operate a VPN business in China.

God damn you. To Hell. You fucking nit.

Fang Binxing…

No. Fuck YOU. FUCK.

…designer of the GFW, told the Global Times Thursday he did not know of any upgrade to the firewall.

“As far as I know, companies running a VPN business in China must register with the Ministry of Industry and Information Technology. I haven’t heard that any foreign companies have registered,” Fang said.

You fucking fuckhead. I want to punch you through a wall.

An executive at a large foreign technology multinational corporation in China, who is also a VPN user, told the Global Times most people can survive without Facebook…

Oh THANK FUCKING GAWD.

…but lacking a VPN could seriously influence business operations.

Ah yes, there we go. Hit them where it hurts. You know what happens when business operations are influenced seriously? Imports and exports go down. And what then? Trade relationships are damaged. And then? A loss of respect in the international community. And…? Hurt feelings. And then??? Riots on the streets. Amplification of negative China overage in Western media. Misunderstanding. Hostility. Xenophobia. Isolationism. WORLD WAR III. Nuclear holocaust.

Don’t block our VPNs, China. They’re all that’s left standing between you and the end of the world.

9 Responses to “Foreign-Run VPNs Are Officially Illegal In China, Apparently”

  1. Jonathan Alpart

    I switched VPN services from Witopia to Astrill sometime in the (ongoing) aftermath of 十八大, but also before these “upgrades” happened. Astrill has been notifying me frequently in recent days about all these upgrades.

    The funny thing is that before I signed up with them, I asked them in their Live Customer Service chat room if it was possible for anything to hinder to my service, like when I use Witopia, which had steadily become shittier and shittier over the past year, finally settling down as Complete Unusable Crap. They said it would be “impossible” (that’s exactly what Witopia said, too, years ago), and in such an event I would be given a full refund.

    Maybe I should forward them this GT article?

    The defense of these foreign VPN firms has been the same as the aforementioned foreign executive – China would never outright block VPNs because they are required for business, especially banking. So I am really, really curious to see how this all plays out.

    Reply
  2. Dan

    boohoohoo, facebook and twitter and other pointless bullshit is blocked. I’d love to see them just flat out crack down on this entirely. Have a legit use for a VPN? Your connection is business grade and allows it. Everything else? Ban it entirely. At the very least it’ll clear out the whiny little faggot english teachers and other scum.

    Reply
    • King Baeksu

      The reason non-Chinese social media sites like Facebook and Twitter are blocked in China is because they can be used as organizing tools by social movements, and are thus a threat to the CCP’s monopoly on state power — not because they are “pointless bullshit.” Wang Hui, one of China’s leading intellectuals and certainly a much brighter bulb than you, has argued that:

      “In order to dismantle China’s backroom politics, there must be real freedom of speech and freedom of assembly. This means preventing large conglomerates from using their media monopoly to manipulate public opinion. Citizens should be allowed to form associations and establish their own media, hence the protection of freedom of speech as a basic right.”

      Source: http://ecfr.eu/page/-/ECFR66_CHINA_30_final.pdf

      In other words, VPNs serve more than just a “business function,” but also help ensure the basic human rights of Chinese citizens and local expats alike.

      To me, you’re the one who sounds like a “whiny little faggot,” since it is clear that you are threatened by any voices that exist outside the present state-corporate power nexus in China, which is really a classic form of fascism.

      So go peddle your smug corporate BS elsewhere, buddy. I may be a “mere” English teacher but at least I am providing a socially useful function here, unlike the majority of corporate expat “scum” in China who profit obscenely on the backs of the Chinese people.

      Reply
  3. Jonas

    How about being able to search on Google without having it timeout half of the time. Is that a valid enough use for you?

    Reply

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