Jimmy Kimmel held a "kid's table" a couple of weeks ago and asked blah blah blah, and it was all pretty boring until some young'un said we should "kill everyone in China." If you're interested in the context, read up on it here. "Kill everyone in China" isn't the best joke, even out of the mouth of a young child -- it's certainly not the best thing* Kimmel's done with kids -- but whatever, it's Jimmy Kimmel, it's late-night comedy, who really cares?
Details are still being sorted out, but a jeep crashed into a crowd in front of the Tiananmen Rostrum around noon today, leaving three dead -- "a driver and two passengers," according to Xinhua. Tourists and policemen were reportedly also injured.
I test drove the Volkswagen XL1 on Friday at the Chaoyang Sports Center. What’s the XL1, you ask? Only the most efficient car in the world — efficient in every way, from weight to energy usage to fuel consumption (it can go 100 kilomters on one liter, thus the 1 in XL1). ”Are there any areas in which you think you can do more optimization?” I asked Dr. Volker Kease, technical project manager.
It's Friday, friends, and there's tons and tons of shit on this weekend. Tons and tons. Too much. Too, too much. And on top of all these good lookin' shows, it's Halloween as well. Damn. And it looks like it's going to be Halloween for the next three weeks or so as well. Seems like no one can figure out what day to celebrate it on. (Pssst! It's October 31, fuckers! That's when Halloween is! Not the Saturday before! It doesn't matter that you have to work the next day! It's on the 31st!)
Yeah, it’s full of students, and yeah, its bars cater mostly to the 19-year-old frat boy set. But there are at least a couple reasons to visit Wudaokou.
Over the next few weeks I will be discussing the comedy of Abdukarim Abliz, the most famous of contemporary Uyghur comedians. Abdukarim is a tall distinguished-looking man from Kashgar famous for his carefully groomed mustache. Like other suave comedians (Stephen Colbert springs to mind) Abdukarim not only embodies a masculine ideal, he parodies it. Yet for all his quick-witted use of language, metaphor, and jawline, Abdukarim has something serious to say about Uyghur society. By making them laugh, he is trying to mirror how his Uyghur audience acts, talks, and thinks about common sense issues in society.
By now you surely know: Harbin in northeast China's Heilongjiang province, a city of 11 million, is blanketed in cancer-gray, toxic-smelling, blindingly thick smog. The AQI is over 500 and the PM2.5 measurement hit one thousand -- higher than it ever was during the worst of times in Beijing. Everything has closed down, from highways to airports to schools. Sinosphere and the Atlantic both have pictures and anecdotes. And AFP has this bit of funny:
Those ever-vigilant consumer-rights watchdogs over at China Central Television were at it again this week, directing the full fury of their state-backed bite against Starbucks in a seven-minute hit piece on October 20. What got CCTV's proverbial underpants in such a bunch?
![Fucking Shit, Traffic. You Fucking Little Shit [CORRECTION]](http://beijingcream.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Beijing-traffic-jam-150x150.jpg "Fucking Shit, Traffic. You Fucking Little Shit [CORRECTION]"){kind=small}
