Stephon Marbury Ejected In First Game Back From Injury For Throwing “Punch” At Shandong’s Wu Ke

Marbury ejection featured image
After sitting out more than two months with an injury and missing 22 games, Beijing Ducks superstar point guard Stephon Marbury returned to the court last night against the Shandong Flaming Bulls in his team's first game of the new lunar year. It was an eventful night, to say the very least.

Watch: Scary Huge Fire At 4Corners Bar On Chinese New Year’s Eve

4corners fire
Hope everyone had a fun and -- more importantly -- safe Chinese New Year on Thursday night. By safe we mean: you didn't break a window, did you? You didn't burn anything down? Because there was both a broken window and a HUGE-ASS FIRE at 4corners, the Gulou bar with the healthy reputation for holding uproarious and unpredictable parties.

“Laowai Style” Comedian Does Stand-Up On BTV

Jesse Appell Mo Money Mo Fazhan
A self proclaimed "Fullbright welfare queen", Jessie Appell has been in China studying the Chinese art of "crosstalk" or Xiangsheng since 2012. He's since branched out, doing stand-up comedy in Chinese full-time making appearances like this (old, but freshly sub-titled) one on BTV

Watch: Liu Xia, Wife Of Jailed Nobel Laureate, Reads Two Poems Under House Arrest

Liu Xia reading poems
I've written about Liu Xia's house arrest before, the disgrace and heartbreak of it, forced into isolation for the past three years because her husband happens to be Liu Xiaobo, the activist and 2010 Nobel Peace Prize recipient who's currently in a Chinese jail. In the above video, shot last month, we get a rare glimpse into her world, bounded physically -- no metaphor needed -- by the wall of her Beijing apartment. But as she reads two poems, "Untitled" and "Drinking," it's apparent she occupies another place whose boundaries are less defined, depthless.

Watch: Samaritans Team Up To Pull Three Students Out Of Frozen Lake

Hebei frozen lake rescue
Around 3:20 pm on Sunday in Tangshan, Hebei province, a woman named Ms. Cheng was exercising in Nanhu Park when she saw some teenagers playing on a frozen lake. She and her exercise partner, Mr. Liu, were about 15 meters from the shore when the ice suddenly cracked, swallowing up the young revelers.

Watch: Xi Jinping Takes Lunch At A Beijing Eatery, Is Just Like Us

Posing with Xi Jinping 3
Look at Xi Jinping eating lunch. When the story broke yesterday that the president of China was spotted in Beijing ordering steamed buns at a local restaurant called Qing-Feng, I noted that we'd be seeing more pictures, since if you can't take pictures of the president of China on your camera phone, you might as well never take another camera phone picture again. Well, here's a video, which surfaced on Youku about nine hours ago. It is wonderful in the following ways:

Guangzhou Evergrande Comes Up Just Short In Entertaining Third-Place Game

Guangzhou vs Atletico
The champs of Asia lost to the champs of South America on Saturday in the 3/4 game at the FIFA Club World Cup. It was fantastic from the get-go. Both Atletico Mineiro and Guangzhou Evergrande scored early (Atletico's Diego Tardelli, 2'; Guangzhou's Muriqui, 9') before Guangzhou took the lead on a 15th minute penalty. But then, in first-half extra time, Atletico's Ronaldinho -- the Ronaldinho, known as "Small Lo" in China (not to be confused with "Big Lo," i.e. [now-fat] Ronaldo, or "C Lo," who is Cristiano Ronaldo) -- did this:

CCTV Imitates The Onion With “Five Surprising Benefits” Of Pollution Article

Shanghai smog
Just as the monthly nationwide freakout over Chinese air was winding down, Chinese Central Television had to go ahead and publish an article, since deleted, that lauded the "Five Surprising Benefits From China’s Haze." I really have nothing to add to a topic already covered by Tea Leaf Nation ("Although it may be satirical, the article reads more as a tin-eared attempt to wring an listicle from a genuine environmental menace"), Time, etc., but I do want to share the below video, from The Onion, posted three years ago.

Huizhou Traffic Police Are The Best, As This Video Set To K-Pop Proves

Huizhou Traffic Police Day
Thought Singles Day last month was a bit random? It seems that December 2 is now, perhaps unofficially, Traffic Police Day. The date, 12/2, coincides with China’s emergency traffic number: 1-2-2. In celebration of themselves, the Huizhou traffic police in Guandong released a professional music video showcasing traffic rules, as found by Eric Jou of Kotaku, set to the Korean band Crayon Pop’s song "Bar Bar Bar."

Dutch Broadcaster For Holland’s Got Talent Won’t Apologize For Judge’s Racism, So Here’s A Petition

Holland's Got Talent racism
Holland Got Talent judge Gordon Heuckeroth made several racist remarks at a Chinese competitor, singer Xiao Wang, last week. You might have already seen it, but if not, check the above. What's interesting, however, is the tepid, almost indifferent response from netizens in China, a study in contrast to the outrage expressed after the now-infamous and actually inoffensive skit by Jimmy Kimmel.