Henan Zoo Discovers It’s Hard To Pass Off A Dog As A Lion

Tibetan mastiff as lion
A zoo in Henan recently put a Tibetan mastiff in its lion pen, which had no lion. We have no doubt they did this as a joke, perhaps to see which zoo-goers, followed by news outlets, would take them seriously. But we wonder -- is this "trolling"? Is this "satire"? Is this actually a political statement about the Chinese zoo itself, forcing us -- by caging a household pet -- to see the metal bars which render animals as objects of amusement and belittlement?

Jiaku The Gorilla Has Quit Smoking, So Please Stop Giving Him Cigarettes

Jiaku the gorilla
A 23-year-old gorilla named Jiaku became famous at Tianshan Wildlife Zoo in Xinjiang for being a "heavy smoker." He was known to perform tricks -- doing handstands, turning in circles, clapping his hands, even performing ballet moves -- to get visitors to throw him a smoke, and would sometimes get desperate without his nicotine fix. His trainer, however, out of concern for his health, has recently tried to wean him off cigarettes. The method has been to lace his ciggies with chili pepper and to apply an ointment on the end.

This Is The Saddest Fucking Panda

Lanzhou panda
The Sina Weibo user who posted this picture, @哥不一搬3285043987, appears to have absonded from social media, but he/she thinks this giant panda in Lanzhou, Gansu province is dying because the zoo can’t feed it. The post: Lanzhou City Zoo’s panda is the world’s saddest panda. Thin and dirty. So hungry it can’t even walk. Supervisors... Read more »

This Sad Polar Bear In Beijing Again Highlights The Paltry Condition Of China’s Zoos

Paltry Beijing Zoo conditions for polar bear featured image
Whether dealing with common pets or endangered species, many humans still don't know how to be humane. But public reaction to conditions at the Beijing Zoo and an incident at South China Normal University in Guangdong indicate that at least awareness is growing among animal advocates and netizens in this country. A video of the poor living conditions of a polar bear at the Beijing Zoo, posted by Sina Weibo user @临临Lynn, elicited a flood of comments yesterday.

Wanted: Marxist-Leninist scholar who can also handle a zoo animal or two

The East is Read
Insert every Animal Farm reference you can think of. Go ahead, just dump em here. Because they’re appropriate for this story, via SCMP: The Yangcheng Evening News recently stumbled upon Guangzhou Zoo’s entrance exam and found a section of it aimed at evaluating applicants’ “mastery” of Marxist-Leninist thought. This means the 15 zookeepers being recruited at the... Read more »

Another Zoo Incident In China: Man Bites Ostrich To Death

Man kills ostrich featured image
Mental health issues are no laughing matter, and neither is biting a large flightless bird to death. What to call this then? At a zoo in Guangdong province on Saturday, a man bit and killed a live ostrich in front of elders and children, then laid on the dead bird and made gun motions with his finger at the police. The man, 27-year-old Li, was found with a suicide note in his pocket addressed to his mother and girlfriend.

Cute Bird At Hubei Zoo “Isolated For Retraining” Due To Its Dirty Mouth

Common hill myna
The common hill myna is renowned for its ability to mimic human speech, but what happens when it only mimics humanity’s ugliness? In Jiufeng Forest Zoo in Wuhan, Hubei, one special bird — which began directing dirty words at patrons — has been “isolated for retraining,” according to Shanghai Daily (not the bird pictured above). The... Read more »

Take Note: Tigers Are Better At Tug-Of-War Than Humans

Tiger tug-of-war 1
A zoo in Wuhan, Hubei province is offering humans the chance to test their strength against tigers. The newscast tells us that tigers win most of the time, proving definitively that when you come face-to-face with a tiger in the wild, don't challenge it to a game of winner-take-all tug-of-war. A zoo official says that one day, caretakers put a rope in the tiger pen and discovered that the animals loved playing with it. Their next logical thought: human-tiger tug-of-war.

Bengal Tigers Murder White Cousin In Shandong Zoo

Bengal mauling
Tigers aren’t so wonderful things sometimes. (Go ahead and skip this story if you’re an animal lover.) On Monday morning at Xixiakou Wild Animal Preserve in Weihai, Shandong province, visitors to the tiger preserve were horrified to find three year-old bengals playing “aggressively” (zoo’s word) with a seven-month-old white tiger. When the above picture first surfaced... Read more »

Another Case Of Interspecies Weaning

Dog nurses white tigers featured image
Last week, we saw a dog nurse three kittens. Not to be outdone, a hero bitch in Shangdong province has taken it upon herself to nurse four of a much larger species of cat. On the same day that she gave birth to two puppies, Laifu was asked (forced?) by wildlife zoo attendants in Rongcheng to nurse four white tiger cubs whose mother, Afang, had abandoned them.