BTV’s ‘Traffic Light’ Set To Music – A Beijing Cream Presentation, The Start Of A Horrific Thing

Traffic Light - start of a beautiful, horrific thing
Traffic Light (红绿灯) is a show on Beijing Television (BTV) that airs an ostensibly instructional segment called "Accidents That Should Never Happen." Everything about it is ridiculous. The only way to make it more ridiculous is to watch it in slow motion, set to music. This is the first video in a weekly series. Read more »

Introducing: That Asshole Drake Moreau

Drake Moreau
Consider this your introduction to a weekly series in which our resident asshole, Drake Moreau, wades into Beijing’s seedy districts (because he’s an asshole) and writes about them like the asshole he is. Just to give you an example of the type of twat we’re dealing with, here’s the g-chat conversation in which I asked... Read more » Read more »

Today In Shitty Journalism: MSNBC Sources Foreign Correspondents Club Of China Email To Break News That Happened Last Week

The article in question was actually published yesterday, so please don’t be misled by the use of “today” in the title. It’s just an expression. Some reporters got “assaulted” in Panhe, Guangdong, and though we don’t know the extent of anyone’s injuries (just a minor detail, right guys?), MSNBC’s “Behind the Wall” China blog decided... Read more » Read more »

A CDS Special: Alzheimer’s patient ‘has heard of Jeremy Lin’

Ms. Wilson reacts to news that Jeremy Lin has never heard of her
China Daily Show is the only news source visible from outer space. This is a CDS-BJC joint production. By LIN ANE Health Correspondent CHARLOTTE (China Daily Show) – A woman in the terminal stages of Alzheimer’s disease has surprised doctors with a newfound enthusiasm for NBA player Jeremy Lin. Sarah Mae Wilson, 69, had long been... Read more » Read more »

These CBA All-Stars Did Irrevocable Damage To The Game Of Basketball Last Night

These CBA All-Stars Did Irrevocable Damage To The Game Of Basketball Last Night
The CBA All-Star game was last night in Guangzhou, with the very first minute portending an evening of heroic fails. The southern all-stars sprinted out to miss their first three shots, all three-pointers. Their first two buckets were scored by former Dallas Maverick Wang Zhizhi, whom a less discerning fan could be excused for thinking was dead. Still, the North still found itself down 11 near the end of the first quarter, ball in Stephon Marbury's hands, when the above happened. Read more »

Top-of-the-Week Links: Who will win the Linsanity trademark? There is no pun here. Really

Chinese woman with dildo
Via ChinaSmack The day after an “Emmy Award-winning TV news correspondent” compared Jeremy Lin to Jackie Robinson in China Daily and wrote, “Lin is a devout Christian. But I think his success has more to do with Confucian rather than Christian values,” and, “But until his team eventually loses a game and the champagne corks stop popping”... Read more » Read more »

YISHUS: The Inaugural Column About Art In China, From A Real Artist In Beijing

Qi BaiShi vs. Marilyn Monroe, by Zhang Wei (via The Grand Narrative)
Two weekends ago, our mouths overflowing with Lantern Festival sesame-injected sweet rice balls, a Chinese art historian asked me why Americans don’t buy Guohua (国画).Guohua is the National Chinese painting style that Westerners all know from the animated opening credits of Mulan. It also encompasses the significant majority of art purchased by Chinese people. “So,... Read more » Read more »

Shanghai Calling: We Watched The Trailer So You Don’t Have To

Shanghai Calling 1a
Shanghai Calling is a movie about a confident, ambitious, career-minded Chinese American named Sam who gets called into his New York law firm’s office one day and told he’s in for some “big news.” As he prepares to humbly accept what he believes is a promotion, he’s told, “We’re sending you to China!” Uh-oh. China... Read more » Read more »