Youku video for those in China after the jump.
On Sunday at the Beijing Motor Show, a press event was held to introduce Lamborghini’s newest design, an SUV (!) known as the “LB736.” It was a pretty big deal, for reasons that car aficionados know all too well. Lamborghini only produces two other models, the Gallardo and Aventador, and for its third model to be an SUV, it better make claims that the Urus is the world’s most powerful and least polluting (it makes those claims, of course). And speaking of world, the model’s global debut was in Beijing. Think about that. So the China auto market kind of matters, I think that’s what we’re illustrating here?
But the debut, oh the debut. What was with the 1984-like battalion of acrobats? What was that horrible rolling-storm-over-a-mountain-cave mood music? And just the overall second-rate planning and execution? Let’s walk you through the first minute of the video, basically up to the part where the boring guy in the suit comes out:
1. Acrobats somersault to the center of the stage, which is tinted yellow and black while LED waves and geysers foam in the background.
2. Dancers are all bald, all in black one-pieces. They do some dance moves before getting into formation.
3. A dude is thrown high up into the air, spinning like crazy. He’s like a juiced up cheerleader.
4. Some kicking, somersaults, and an acrobatic toe-tap.
5. People scramble into position. I’m thinking Eminem’s performance of The Real Slim Shady at the VMAs for some reason.
6. Oh, there’s an SUV. It’s got big wheels. It’s very red. The acrobats are throwing out their fists at the car as it rolls by, like flowers turning their heads and blooming with the wind, or, more likely, commoners genuflecting at the feet of a passing royal.
7. Acrobats scamper off.
8. Very white European guy comes out, music stops, and everyone stops caring for a while.
9. 3:33 mark: music starts again as white guy takes his leave. Cameras proceed to make out with the car’s fender.
The Lamborghini Urus, ladies and gentleman.