Found the above on Reddit, posted by Dog22222, titled, “Taobao Seller’s Infographic on Shavin Your Unmentionables.” Eh, why not? We asked our resident pubic hair expert, Chris Clayman (just kidding! Or not… we didn’t run this joke by him), to take a look. He sent translations!
Before we get to those, a little background: we couldn’t find the above infographic on Taobao itself, but a company called LC Love Cosmetic is running the image on its website (featuring a weirdly inappropriate ad for Shinayaka Wash). If you use the product, so goes the ad, “there will be a big difference in a couple’s love-making experience.”
The “Cool” Look
Even wearing small panties, it won’t come out from either side! Feminine elegance — sure enough an elegant inverse triangle.
The Fortune-telling (八字?) Look
It’s always poking out from both sides of the panties. And the boyfriend has just entered the atmosphere. He can’t help but start worrying.
The Exploding Look
The hair freely grows in all directions. It’s oppressed by the panties. A disheveled look, like waking up and not arranging your hair.
The Dense Look
Looks like a dense forest, curly and messy. Intimidated by the possibility her partner has the same look!
The Long-Hair Look
This has never received care, note the length and texture!
The Inverse-Tail Look
Always keeps the middle long and shave around it. During intimate moments there is a danger of stinging her partner.
Discuss. (H/T Alicia)
Chris tweets @chrisclayman, keeps a Tumblr.
Couple of sketchy translations there.
“And the boyfriend has just entered the atmosphere. He can’t help but start worrying” should be “As soon as things start getting hot with her boyfriend, she can’t help but start to worry.”
“Intimidated by the possibility her partner has the same look!” should be “There’s a possibility of scaring her partner to death!”
“Note the length and texture!” should be “She should pay more attention to the length and texture!”
My specialty is only in pubic translation.
Fortune telling?? Come on, it’s obviously referring to how it looks like the character 八 where it’s sticking out at the bottom.