Laowai Comics: Annoying-Laowai Bingo

Laowai Comics

Laowai Comics is a biweekly webcomic. Beijing Cream is proud to debut its Thursday comic every week. Full archives here.

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(Monday’s comic)

27 Responses to “Laowai Comics: Annoying-Laowai Bingo”

  1. SeaHorse

    Weirdly your bingo cards are accurate. (wait was it Laowai comics that did the Chinese people ettiquete bingo card?)

    Reply
  2. King Baeksu

    Foreigners who knowingly ignore other foreigners even in small, out-of-the-way public places, just because their “specialness” has been threatened.

    Reply
    • Chinese Netizen

      Ahhh…this brings back memories of the infamous “Talk Talk China” blog topic of the “Lao Wai Death Stare”!! A true classic…

      Reply
      • King Baeksu

        It’s not exactly a “death stare.”

        It’s more like the Laowai Freeze Out.

        It happened to me here in Shenyang just the other day. Some fat-assed white grandfather type in shorts and a visor passed by me on a narrow sidewalk without any other foot traffic in the vicinity. We were close enough to touch. I nodded towards him as he went by, and he simply looked the other way while avoiding any eye contact, which clearly involved much conscious effort on his part.

        At least the Africans in Asia are cool, and will always acknowledge you with a friendly nod in public spaces.

        Reply
        • bag-o-dicks

          I was just about to ask whether I have to nod at black guys or not.

          I thought it was racial, like I only have to nod at my own people. I’ve got to bring brothers into the mix now?

          And what if I pass an Aiweiwei-haircut, banana-looking mofo like Anthony Tao? Or an Indian?

          I think I’m going to have to draw the line at Asians altogether. You can get your nods some other place.

          Reply
          • King Baeksu

            It’s not a racial thang, it’s a hipster vs. square thing.

            Having grown up in some pretty tough urban areas in the States, I know that African-Americans especially like to clock each other in the street just to register who’s cool and who’s not in their local ‘hood (read: territory). The ones who aren’t cool may very well be a threat, which is essential to know for one’s own survival.

            The Chinese and other Northeast Asians tend to ignore strangers in public, whereas in Southeast Asian countries like Indonesia, people seem to register others a lot more frequently in public. A lot of white expats in Asian seem to fall into the not-so-cool Chinese-style camp, unlike most Africans here. Perhaps they really are just trying to fit in and “go native.”

            Not sure if there is any connection or not, but Indonesia men reportedly have the biggest cocks among Asian men. Read into that as you will.

          • Chinese Netizen

            Problem with nodding at a “brutha” in places like Guangzhou is that they take that as an opening to try to sell you “stuff” (aka drugs)

          • mike

            “I know that African-Americans especially like to clock each other in the street just to register who’s cool and who’s not in their local ‘hood (read: territory).”

            *facepalm…

            you are so white… thanks for breaking it down homeboy.

          • King Baeksu

            “*facepalm…” “you are so white…”

            Woo hoo, you really schooled me with your killer kliches.

            Another reason why so many expats in Asia acts like dicks: Because they’re dicks.

    • Chackie Jan

      “even in small, out-of-the-way public places”

      I would say that is the only time a nod is warranted. Nodding in Beijing would mean you’re probably nodding at a thousand tourists every day. Come on! :P Perhaps if another foreigner happens to live in your compound it’s interesting to know where he/she is from but on the other hand, there’s no reason to actively go out of your way to meet up with him/her just because they share your skin color. I mean, I’m not from the US or UK and have about as little affinity with the US as with any other country except for my home country.

      Reply
      • King Baeksu

        Point taken since I live in relatively remote Dongbei myself at the moment, but even in expat meccas like It’aewon in Seoul or Kabuki-cho in Tokyo, the African cats don’t seem too put out to acknowledge a fellow loawai happening by, which certainly makes for a more pleasant all-around vibe. One might even argue that the nodding factor is a way to differentiate tourists from local laowais: The tourists probably tend think that putting up an impassive facade is a way to “blend in” and obscure their low-status out-of-townness, whereas genuine locals are obviously more curious and interested in whoever happens to be hanging in their own neighborhood.

        Reply
  3. jesussuckle

    Here are a few not on the bingo card:

    Refers to himself as a journalist even though he works for state-run media.

    Is relieved by the heavy McDonald’s presence in Beijing.

    When talking about Chinese cinema, loves to say “5th Generation” or “6th Generation,” and pretentiously wonders about the so-called “7th Generation.”

    His Chinese girlfriend isn’t hot, but he thinks she is.

    Reply
  4. expatprick

    You’re a been-in-China-too-long-laowai-prick bingo:

    1. You complain about people’s ability to speak Chinese.
    2. You think you’re a local.
    3. You have a failed China-foreign business.
    4. You think you have some guangxi.
    5. You correct a stranger who is correcting their friend’s Chinese.
    6. You think totalitarianism is kind of ok after all.
    7. You become intolerably smug and start producing a shit comic strip about other foreigners. That NO ONE HAS EVER FOUND FUNNY. NOT ONCE. IT IS THE WORST THING ON AN OTHERWISE SOLID WEBSITE.

    Reply
    • mike

      “4. You think you have some guangxi.”

      Guangxi province?

      Also… been in China too long? It’s a 3rd world country. Obviously you’re not supposed to live there long term. The Chinese dream is GTFO.

      Reply
  5. annoying laowai

    You’re a been-in-China-too-long laowai prick bingo:

    1. You complain about people’s ability to speak Chinese.
    2. You think you’re a local.
    3. You have a failed China-foreign business.
    4. You think you have some guangxi.
    5. You correct a stranger who is correcting their friend’s Chinese.
    6. You think totalitarianism is kind of ok after all.
    7. You become intolerably smug and start producing a shit comic strip about other foreigners. THAT IS NEVER FUNNY.

    Reply
  6. DaNfOrCe

    Even though these comics are sometimes hit or miss. I generally enjoy them and am appreciative of the work the author/artist? puts in to it each week.

    Reply
      • King Baeksu

        Panda hugger is a good one. But does it capture the notion of an expat slaving away inside a Chinese organization, who invariably favors the interests of Chinese management over those of his or her fellow expats? Or does it merely mean a foreigner who is pro-China?

        Alternatives: House Laowais vs. Field Laowais.

        House laowais are the ultimate suckers, because they do not seem to understand that they will forever be second-class subjects in China, gleefully exploited by their local masters, and are arrogant enough to believe that they can transcend the system, to somehow be a magical exception to a very hard and fast rule.

        The “wai” in laowai really does mean something: It means you will never be “one of us,” and therefore you should always mind your place and not get too “uppity.” Expats here would do much better trying to stick together, but there’s always some laowai Uncle Tom, some naive yet smug house laowai, who fucks things up for the rest of us.

        Reply

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