Drunk Chinese Man Nearly Shipped To Los Angeles

Jiang Wu had quite the night of drinking in Qingdao, Shandong province. He doesn’t remember much of it, but it was weird, see, because he woke up in a completely dark container, and couldn’t get out.

A shipping container. Bound for Los Angeles.

Wu woke up after a big night in Qingdao, eastern China, in a sealed shipping container that was one hour away from a two-week-long journey to Los Angeles.

He had mistaken the container for his B&B and had to phone the police to get out.

By the way, he would not have survived that two-week trip locked in a shipping container. Thankfully, his phone was not out of batteries — perennial drunks, you’ll appreciate this for the minor miracle that it is — and he was able to get in touch with people on the outside world.

The conversation may have gone like this:

“I think I’m trapped in a shipping container.”

“What?”

“On a boat.”

“You fucking idiot.”

As Gawker describes it:

Even after Wu managed to get in touch with police and conveyed his predicament, he still faced a serious race against the clock, as he was unable to identify the container he was in.

Happily, thanks in large part to banging noises he made against the sea can, Wu was ultimately found in a container stacked some 60 feet above ground.

The first words he hears after being pulled out are, “How are you doing? You’re fine, right?”

Like a true drunk, Jiang doesn’t answer. We wonder about his hangover.

The next time you call your night out “epic,” just realize — no, not really, not compared to this guy’s.

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