Longtime China fellow Brendon O’Kane may have left for grad school in the US, but he’s still sporadically China-blogging, now on a Tumblr. He’s responsible for finding the above ad, which we can’t thank him enough for translating:
ATTENTION ALL MEN
Foreskin too tight, or of unwelcome length?
These features can vary from person to person.
Jobs, study, and overwork all sap your strength,
And then sickness and germs can cause matters to worsen.
Strange odors and red lumps are commonly seen.
Your foreskin’s to blame! It’s as long as a tortilla!
Alas, alack — what’s a guy to do?
Dongda Anus and Intestine Hospital will see you through
With its circular slicing techniques from Korea.
No pain! No scarring! Critics cheer!
Your embarrassing ailments all will disappear
And your partner of the opposite sex will smile from ear to ear.
Where is this Dongda Hospital?
Why, just to the south of Lantau Shopping.
8563-9299; give us a call
For health and happiness unstopping.
Alas, alack – what’s a guy to do? / Dongda Anus and Intestine Hospital will see you through.
Poetry for our age, ladies and gentlemen. Well, mostly gentlemen.
[朝三暮四] (h/t Peter Behr)