Eccentric Chinese millionaire Chen Guangbiao admits to facing “obstacles” in his bid to purchase the New York Times (translation: no way the Ochs-Sulzberger family is selling to him), but that’s the old story here. The much more important story we’d like to highlight is the one about his business card, namely how utterly INSANE it is.
Adam Taylor of Business Insider has this one:
One interesting insight into Chen’s mindset might be to look at his English-language business card, one of a number of promotional materials he gives out to U.S. journalists.
Insight? He’s batshit crazy. What do some of those titles even mean? “China Low Carbon Emission”? Like, you are one molecule of CO2? Where does one title end and another begin? Are we supposed to read “China’s Foremost” and “Environmental Preservation Demolition Expert” separately, or is that “China’s Foremost Environmental Preservation Demolition Expert”? What is a preservation demolition expert?
This is fun though. Below, a ranking of Chen Guangbiao’s worst title to best, with “best” and “worst” defined in the most arbitrary, Chen-Guangbiao-way possible:
10. Most Influential Person of China
9. Most Prominent Philanthropist of China
8. Environmental Protection Top Advocate
7. China Top Ten Most Honorable Volunteer
6. China Low Carbon Emission
5. China Moral Leader
4. China Earthquake Rescue Hero
3. Most Charismatic Philanthropist of China
2. Most Well-Known and Beloved Chinese Role Model
1. China’s Foremost Environmental Preservation Demolition Expert
But the real lesson we can learn from his card: don’t use green. It’s especially ugly as a font color, but that stripe at the bottom is also none too attractive.
The Incredible Business Card Of The Chinese Millionaire Who Wants To Buy The New York Times (Business Insider)
“China Low Carbon Emission Environmental Protection Top Advocate” is one title.
Guys: this nutjob wants to nbuy the NYT and that’s totally cool -provided the CCP is willing to sell me the China Daily.
I’ve got 5 RMB right here to make me majority stakeholder in the newspaper, anyone else want to come up with the remaining 0.24 RMB that it’s worth?
My ante of the RMB.24 in bit coin equivalent of .00004 Bitcoin is sent. Pls send my 4.58 % share in the Peoples’ Daily to my Caymen Island trust account.
I will pay you twice that if you can change the paper size to small squares joined end on end and soften the paper a bit. Don’t worry about the printing anymore. Ohh and can you package it in rolls?
I want this card framed and hanging in my home.
He’s just making fun of those “real” business cards used by laods of chinese businessmen.
He neglected to add “Most embellished bullshitter in the great motherland”.